Arranged
by power-of -the-lightning-bolt
Summary: Upon every witch's nineteenth birthday a letter is sent to her family requesting them to make a proposal of marriage to an eligible wizard bachelor, when Lily turns nineteen her sister picks James, will Lily ever find love?
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note: I was reading through the old version of this and realized something, I realized that it sucked. So I am rewriting it.

If I haven't updated for a while and you want to know what going on, visit my xanga, I tell people where I am with chapters on that at the bottom of posts and you get to know a little about me:)

Onceupon a time the wizarding world was far different from what it is today. The spells were the same and the shops were the same, but they were dying out. The population was nearly half of what it was just thirty years ago, and witches and wizards were being killed off by the thousands.

The Minister of Magic at the time, Millicent Bagnold, decided to do something about it and the rise of Voldemort. She sat up very late one night coming up with the solution to her dying population.

She didn't know why she hadn't seen it earlier, it was so simple.

The Betrothal Act:

In order to save the wizarding race; once a witch has graduated from school her family will be sent a letter asking them to betroth their daughter to an eligible wizard. He will be sent a letter informing him of the family's choice and if he is a pureblood he may either accept or decline the betrothal. If the man is a half -blood or muggle-born he will be forced to accept. This will go on until the population has risen to a decent level. The couple must be married within one month of the proposal. The witch will be required to bear the wizard one child. The only way a divorce can happen is after one child is born to the couple. Once the proposal is accepted there is no backing out.

Minister Bagnold smiled to herself as she blew on the ink to make it dry faster. This would surely solve the problem. She yawned at turned off the lights in her office and headed home for the night. Tomorrow she would have no problem getting the Wizengamot to approve it.

* * *

Lily sat on her couch sobbing. It wasn't fair that a young, beautiful, and intelligent woman like herself should be tied down at the tender age of nineteen.. It just wasn't right. 

The reason she was sobbing was because she had just received a letter from the Ministry of Magic telling her that a betrothal letter had been sent off to James Potter. A letter attached to that was from her sister.

Lily,

I was appalled to find a disgusting owl sitting on my kitchen table the other day. I couldn't believe that you would have to gall to allow people of you kind contact me. I must say, I was a bit surprised that your freak government had a law like this, and I must admit that I had quite a good laugh after I sent a reply back to that Ministry of yours. The only wizard that I had ever heard of from you was James Potter, and I remember quite well that you despise him.

Have a Nice Wedding,

Petunia

Lily had ripped up the letter after she read it. As she opened the window of her apartment to throw the tiny pieces outside into the rainy street an owl flew in, almost knocking Lily off of the balcony. She regained her balance and went to pick up the letter that it carried.

My Dearest Lily,

I was quite surprised to hear from your sister that you wish to marry me, and here I thought that all those years of me asking you out had been a waste. It must have been my irresistible hair.

I would like to let you know that I have accepted your proposal and have sent my reply off to the Ministry. I would love to see you sometime soon, so that we can plan for the wedding.

Love,

James (the egotistical prick in your words)

Lily smiled at the last bit. Maybe he wasn't so bad. Wait, this was James she was talking about, of course he was bad. He was more than bad. He was horrible, despicable, and arrogant. There was no way she could spend the rest of her life with him. There had to be some way out of it.

Just that second she heard a pop and a man appeared right in front of her.

"Hello, Lily," he said with a smile.

"Potter," she growled, attempting to wipe her tears away before he could see them.

"Is that how you treat your future husband?" he asked with a pout.

Lily nodded and sat back down on the couch. She could picture them like this for the rest of their lives, just arguing. She started to sob again.

"What's the matter Lily?" he asked sitting down next to her, his voice sounding concerned.

Lily didn't respond she just sobbed harder. James wrapped one of his arms around her and tried to pull her closer to him. She instantly pushed him away.

"What happened? Is this not a good time? Did someone die?" James asked with a look of confusion on his face.

"It will never be a good time, and yes someone died. A part of me died when I found out that I have to marry **_you_**," she replied spitting the last word out as if it were poison.

"If you hate me so much why did you and your family choose me?" James asked, his voice getting louder.

"My _family_, if you can call it that, consists of my evil and vindictive sister, Petunia. She'll do anything to ruin my life. I had no part in this at all, I didn't even know about the law until I received a letter today saying that a proposal was sent off to you," Lily said taking big deep breaths.

"Oh," James said sighing and sitting back down at the couch.

"Get out," Lily said getting up and opening the door.

James looked a little hurt but got up. "I just came over to give you this," he said throwing a small object down on the table in front of him then he stormed out of the small apartment, slamming the door shut behind him. The walls shook from the force of it. Lily could hear his footsteps on the stairs, they were very loud.

She went back over to the table to see what he had thrown there, it was a ring.

Lily's throat swelled up as she started to cry again. What had he ever done to her? Why did she have to go be horrible to him for no reason? There was no chance of them getting along now. She had ruined any chance of an amicable relationship with him. He didn't even care enough now to put the ring on her finger. She slid it on while examining it. It had a silver band, in the center was an emerald and a diamond intertwined, and littler diamonds were encircling it.

Lily sighed and fell back down onto her couch, fidgeting with her ring. What had she gotten herself into?


	2. Plans

James ran down the stairs as quickly and loudly as he could. When he got to the bottom of the last flight of stairs he stormed out the door, once again slamming it. He hoped he startled every person in the building. He also hoped they all blamed it on Lily. He knew that what he was thinking was very childish, but he still felt it anyway.

He ran all the way home to where he lived with Sirius. They lived in the same house that James had grown up in, Godric's Hollow. When he went in he collapsed onto the couch and resorted to staring at the blank television screen.

"What's the matter, Prongs?" Sirius asked falling down next to him with a couple of ice cold butterbeers.

"She hates me," James said crossing his arms.

"Who hates you?" Sirius asked with a clueless look on his face.

"Lily," James replied. Sirius sighed.

"Well that's not really news, James," he said finally. James glared at him and yanked one of the bottles out of his friend's hand. He took a rather large swig.

"What do I do now? It's too late to take it back, it's already a done deal, I'm going to be married to her in a month, and I can't get out of it until…well you know," James said staring down into his bottle while swinging it back and forth in his hands.

"Well, where there's the Marauders there's a way. I'm going to sleep on it and tell you what I think in the morning," Sirius said, gulping down the remaining contents of the bottle and getting up.

James sat there still staring at the blank screen.

* * *

The next week passed the same way. Lily and James didn't see each other and none of the wedding plans got done. They were down to their last three weeks of complete freedom.

One day Lily was feeling particularly bored and decided to go James's to see if he wanted to do anything. She figured if she was going to marry him she might as well get to know him a little bit better, and she could at least try to get along with him.

She pulled on her coat and picked up a bag, dropping her wand in her side pocket as she went. She had a crumpled up piece of paper with his address written on it in her palm. She knew the neighborhood it was in was very nice, and very expensive, and she couldn't wait to see what his house looked like.

She drove up to the right address and drove by slowlythree times. She couldn't believe how nice the house looked, or how big it looked. It had to have at least four floors. That was quite a lot to Lily who had only lived in ramblers.

Slowly she gathered up the courage to go see him. She was afraid that he still might be angry with her, but she had to see him sooner or later. She had to ring the doorbell twice for him to come.

"What do you want?" he asked tiredly.

"Is that how you greet your future wife?" she asked mockingly.

James laughed a little bit. It was a good sign. "I deserved that didn't I?" he asked. Lily nodded

"Come in," he said opening the door all the way. Lily followed him in.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go do something today, I figured that since we'll be getting married we might as well get to know each other a bit better," she replied, looking in awe at how nicely it was decorated inside. She didn't know that a couple of guys could have such great taste.

The walls in the entry were an off-white color as were all the halls. She could see a living room with dark red walls, and a door connecting the dining and living rooms was open, showing the dining room, which was a creamy color.

"You have good taste," she said.

"Oh I didn't decorate it, this was my parents house, completely my mother's taste, but it has grown on me a bit," he replied smiling.

He motioned for her to sit down and went to go grab a cup of tea.

When he came back they sat in silence for a while, Lily looking at all of the expensive looking things that adorned the walls, and the all of the thick and old looking books that were in the bookcase that ran along the back wall.

"So what did you want to do today?" he asked suddenly.

"Oh I don't know, I was thinking we could go out for dinner or something, maybe a movie," Lily said, stirring her tea.

"I think we should work on plans for the wedding, I mean it's going to be hell trying to find a place to have the wedding and the reception in the fall," James said downing the rest of his tea.

Lily agreed and conjured up a piece of parchment and a quill and ink. "Where do we start?" she asked after sitting there for a few minutes staring blankly at the piece of fresh parchment.

"How about we start with a person to perform the ceremony?" James suggested.

"Good idea," Lily said, writing it down.

"I don't know what the people in the wizarding world do, but I was raised in the Catholic Church, and we always have a priest perform the ceremony," Lily said looking at James.

"What's Catholic?" James asked.

"It's a religion," Lily replied, trying not to laugh.

"If it makes you happy, I want a Catholic wedding," James said, running a hand through his hair.

Lily agreed to that. She had to find a priest and a place to hold the wedding.

"I want an outdoor wedding," James said quickly, "I want to get married in the park down the street. It's really beautiful down there, there's a perfect little white gazebo in the middle."

Lily wrote that down. They would have to check with the owners to see if that was ok.

"We could have the reception here," Lily said after pondering the thought. James looked a little troubled.

"I don't think that that's a good idea, Lily," he said.

"Sure it is, we can put charms on everything so that sticky fingers can't take them, and whatever rooms you want can be locked up, I know my charms, James," Lily replied. This seemed to persuade James.

"Who's going to be in the wedding party?" Lily asked.

"Well, Sirius is going to be my best man, and Remus and Peter can be my groomsmen," James said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"What do I do? All my friends were killed. I don't have anyone to be my maid of honor, or my bridesmaids!" Lily said, starting to panic.

"Don't worry, we'll figure something out, Evans," James said.

"Don't do that," Lily snapped.

"Don't do what?"

"Don't call me by my surname, it' s immature."

"Fine I won't," James replied, he didn't even realize that he had called her Evans.

That day they figured out where they were having their wedding, who was doing it, who was invited, who was going to cater, and who was doing the decorations. All they really had left was to figure out what everyone was wearing, and who would be Lily's bridesmaids.

It would seem that the two former enemies were getting along quite well, but as we all know the life and love of Lily and James was never easy. There was always something to interfere, and that something went by the name of Millicent.

Author's Note: Well there that is, I hoped you all liked that one. I'm thinking that eventually the chapters will get longer than that. Anyway READ AND **REVIEW **I can't stress that enough. Tell me if you want more!

Thanks to:

SweetSouthernGal: Yeah the first chapter was almost a word for word copy of the first chapter of the original version of this, I liked my first chapter last time and I decided to keep the majority of it. I don't know if this idea is original, I hardly doubt it's an original idea, I mean look at how many L/J stories there are out there, I have what, like a one in one million chance of this being original. Thanks for reviewing my work again. I love having faithful readers!

Flame of Desire: Well thanks for your enthusiasm! I don't remember having anyone be that excited about something I wrote, that really makes me happy!


	3. Our First Kiss

James looked around the small shop. He was trying to find something to wear to the wedding. Every single tuxedo he tried on looked absolutely horrible on him. He would've worn a set of dress robes, but there would be a lot of muggles coming, so how would he explain that?

He was starting to fall even more in love with Lily. She had been dropping by every day lately, and he couldn't get enough of her. Her sweet smile, the way she looked when she laughed at something he had said, and especially the way she looked when she was trying to sort out one of the many problems that came up while planning the wedding.

He sat on the little bench in the dressing room while Sirius went to go pick out another tuxedo for him to try on. She would be going crazy trying to get him to try on everything in the small shop, and then some. Sirius knocked on the dressing room door, "I think I found the perfect one James!" he called.

James opened the door and grabbed the suit from Sirius. James looked very doubtful, but tried it on anyway. Looking in the mirror he noticed that his hair wasn't competing with the color of the tux. They were exactly the same shade of jet black. That was another problem he had been running into while trying on other ones, his hair would always make the suit look faded.

"This is it, Sirius!" he said excitedly. He quick went over to the front desk, and they put it on hold so that they could one for him.

Lily was in the living room of James's house, debating whether they should have an open bar or not, she finally decided on it. Sirius would enjoy that, and so would most of her family.

The only thing left that she had to do was go to the final fitting for her wedding dress. The one she had picked out was absolutely stunning on her. It had off of the shoulder cap sleeves, the bodice of the dress was tight fitting on her figure, and was open in the back. The front had pearls embroidered in it, and the skirt flowed out around her, she looked like a fairy tale princess.

Just that minute James walked in the door. She quickly got up to meet him. She couldn't believe that over such a short time they had become friends like this. Lily still hated him, and hated the situation but she decided to be nice about it.

"Did you have any luck?" she asked, grabbing his coat. It had been cold out lately, she hoped it would be a little warmer for the wedding, which was fast approaching, only a week away.

"Yeah, Sirius found the perfect thing for me!" he said putting some various shopping bags down, and wrapped her in a hug.

"Don't, James," she said trying to pull away.

"But-"

"But we're just friends," Lily cut him off.

"Yeah friends that are just about to get married!" James said, louder than necessary.

"Yeah, a forced marriage!" Lily retorted, throwing his coat on the ground, and grabbing hers. Then she tried to leave but James stopped her.

"Lily, I'm sorry," he said. Lily glared back at him, "Do you want to go out for dinner?" James asked.

Lily sighed, "Fine," she said reluctantly.

"Great, I thought that maybe we could go somewhere fancy, what are you craving?" he asked, pulling out a phonebook.

"I don't know, it doesn't matter to me," Lily replied, crossing her arms.

"Does Italian sound good to you?" he asked. Lily shrugged. James took it as a yes.

"How about you go get dressed, and I'll pick you up in about a half hour?" Lily nodded and apparated to her apartment.

She ran to her closet, trying to find something decent for the occasion. She found a gray suit, and another gray suit, and a beige suit, some dress robes, and a black dress. She opted for the dress and slipped it on. It was tight fitting and reached just above her knees. It had a very low neckline, and the back plunged down to the small of her back. She was surprised she even had a dress like that, and tried to find a pair of shoes that might go with it as she applied makeup to her eyes and lips.

She finally found a pair of strappy black high heels as there was a knock on her door. She quick ran to open it.

"James!" she said happier than she had been earlier, "Just wait a minute, I've got to go do something with my hair."

"Leave it, it looks great Lily," James said, putting a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"But, it's a mess when it curls like that!" she protested. Lily obviously had never seen her hair before because it looked really beautiful. It curled just a little bit at the bottoms, it reached to about the middle of her back. Lily threw her hands up in defeat, "Fine let's just go then," she said laughing as James offered her an arm.

Ten minutes later they reached the restaurant, it was a very dressy one, and Lily was glad she had gone with the dress. They were seated almost immediately because apparently James was a regular customer. Their table was in a back corner next to a piano. There was a dance floor in the middle. Lily hoped that James wouldn't ask her to dance. She always dreaded her first dance with a new guy, especially one that she'd hated for the past seven years.

Lily was just about to start talking about the wedding when James stopped her, saying that they needed to take a break from it.

"Well what do you want to talk about?" Lily asked.

"I want your full biography," he replied.

Lily took a deep breath, "I was born and raised in Scotland, even though I'm half Irish. I was the baby of the family. My sister Petunia is my only other sibling. We used to get along well, but she started to hate me when I started Hogwarts. My parents despised it at first, but then they started to think it was the best thing that could ever happen to their daughter. Of course Petunia hated that even more, and she used to verbally abuse me every time I came home from break.

Then Voldemort came to power, and when I went home during break one time, he tried to kill my parents, but they got away from him with their lives, but not their sanity, they were then admitted to an asylum. They were there for about a year when my mum was given a medication that she was allergic to, she died, and then my dad died within the month. They say that it was because he lost the will to live or heartbreak, but I believe that he was too out of it to know what was going on and had an accident or something like that," she said quickly. James just looked at her.

"I'm sorry for rambling," she said blushing.

"No, I'm sorry," he said, putting his hand on top of hers. She looked into his eyes, and saw a bit of guilt in his eyes. She wondered what it meant. He must have noticed that she noticed, and he blinked it away. "How long ago?" he asked.

"A few months ago," Lily replied, her eyes starting to sparkle even brighter than usual with tears.

They stayed like that for a little while staring into each other's eyes. It was broken by a waiter coming over, "Who is the lovely lady, Mr. Potter?" he asked with a smile.

"This is Lily, we're getting married in a week," James said, returning the smile.

"Well, is there anything I can get you two while you're waiting for your dinner?" he asked.

"No, we're fine right now, thank you," Lily replied. James smiled again. She didn't know why he was doing that.

"What about you?" she asked James. She could feel her hand starting to sweat under the heat of his.

"What about me? Well, I originally lived in Italy, but moved here when I was eight. My father is a widower, my mother died right after she gave birth to my little brother a year later. My father took a job at the Ministry here as an auror, and he'd bring home women just about every other night. Finally he fell in love with a lady in another department and they got married. She's raised me as her own child, and never tried to replace my mother, she understood somehow, anyway my brother disappeared, and we think he went back to Italy to join up with their Ministry. He hasn't contacted us since," James said.

"You always seemed so happy though," Lily replied.

"Well, I'm good at hiding-" James started but the music stopped and their waiter got up on stage next to the piano trio.

"-and our biggest customer James is getting married in a week, so could everyone clear the dance floor and let them have their own dance?" he asked to the rest of the people in the crowded room. They all applauded and moved. Lily started to blush and looked at James.

"Shall we dance?" he asked. Lily nodded hesitantly and he led her out to the dance floor. The piano trio started a slow song and the lights were dimmed.

James placed a hand on Lily's back and held her other hand gingerly, and they danced. James started to hold Lily closer and closer to him as the song got farther on and people started to dance, still leaving them plenty of space.

Lily never missed a beat, and neither did James. He started to rub small circles around her back and she stared into his eyes. They spun around and Lily noticed that they were easily the best dancers on the floor.

"I didn't know you danced," James said quietly.

"There's a lot you don't know about me," Lily replied, smiling softly.

"I know that you're favorite color is pink, and your favorite flower is a rose surrounded by baby's breath, and that you love the rain, and you hate being kissed," James said, grinning. He then leaned down and kissed her firmly on the lips. She was caught by surprise and tried to pull away, but found she couldn't. She couldn't leave the warm feeling of his lips on hers. She had never been kissed like that, so tenderly, so wonderfully. She felt like she was going to explode with happiness, and a new feeling, just as she started to kiss back more deeply he pulled away and smiled. Lily was disappointed.

There was applause and she buried her head in the crook of his neck while the next song started up, it was another slow one, and James slowly started dancing with her.

"We're just friends, remember?" he whispered in her ear.

"You bastard," she muttered back, smiling.

"You know you love me," he replied, smartly.

Author's Note: Well look at that! I uploaded another chapter! Thank you guys for reviewing, I'm not going to take the time this chapter to do review responses, sorry:( maybe I'll do it on my xanga if I've got time! Thanks though!


	4. Sealed with a Kiss

Lily tossed and turned in bed that night thinking about what had happened at dinner with James. She couldn't believe what had happened when he had kissed her. All of those years of built up anger and frustration must have done something to her head. What _had_ she been thinking?

She hadn't been thinking, that was it. She had not been thinking. How else would she have opened up so much to James? She wouldn't have.

Giving up on getting any more sleep that night she got up and pulled out her pensieve from under her bed. She had gotten one a few months back when things had been bad for her, and her only surviving friend suggested it. After she pulled out a few of the silvery strands of memories and went back to her bed, pulling the large bowl up with her. The first one that caught her eye was the one from a few months ago when she had first found out about her parents.

"Wake up, bitch," she heard Petunia's cruel voice waking her up from a peaceful night's rest.

"Go away!" Lily screamed pulling a pillow over her head.

"They're dead," Petunia whispered, pulling the pillow off of Lily's head.

Lily ignored what her sister had just said, figuring that she was lying.

Lily got up when Petunia had pulled the blankets off of her. "Prove it," Lily said pulling on some more decent clothes. Petunia grabbed her arm and led her down the stairs. There were men in uniform milling around the living room.

"Are you Miss Lily Evans?" asked one of the men. He looked vaguely familiar to her.

"Yes, I am, what is this about?" she asked hurriedly.

"Can we speak somewhere…more private?" he asked. Lily nodded and led him down the hall and into the kitchen.

"Your parents were attacked by Voldemort last night. They survived the attack with their lives, but not their minds. They are currently in a hospital, I'm very sorry, Miss Evans," he said quickly.

"Petunia said that they were dead though, how did they manage to survive?" Lily asked quietly.

"That's it, know one knows. All they know is that a killing curse was sent at them, and I don't know, maybe they dodged it in enough time, when we go back out there I'm going to obliviate everyone else's memories, all those men in suits are muggles, every last one. They all witnessed what happened. It was a very large attack and it's going to take weeks to clean this one up," he said in a hushed tone as he headed for the door back out to the rest of the people that were in the house. Lily followed him out.

Lily got out of that memory as quickly as possible. She relived it every night in her dreams, she didn't need to relive it in her waking hours too. That day had changed her life forever…what she had found out that night about Voldemort was horrible. She went into another memory. This one was from Graduation Day.

They had all just received their diplomas and everyone was in the common room celebrating. Lily sat in one of the less crowded corners with her friends, Maggie and Cecile. Her other friend, Lauren, was out somewhere with a Ravenclaw guy. They hadn't seen her since they exited the Great Hall after the ceremony.

She could see herself talking quietly with her two friends. Maggie had short blonde curly hair and sea-green eyes. She was shorter than most of the other girls in their year, but a lot nicer than the majority of the female population. Cecile was tall and had dark brown hair and matching eyes. She was a bit controlling and self-centered, but she could be a great friend the majority of the time.

Lily looked around the room and saw James. He was with his friends, as usual. He was smiling and flirting with a whole bunch of girls who were hanging on him and his friends. Lily felt a little pang of jealousy, but quickly pushed it away. She couldn't possibly fall for James. Not after all she had worked through.

James walked over to the Lily in her memory and said something. She quickly slapped him across the face. Lily laughed then. James turned around and walked away. She couldn't see the expression on his face, but she assumed that he bounced back to happy. Out of curiosity she followed him and saw that he went immediately back up to his dormitory.

Lily was following him quietly, but reminded herself that she wasn't actually there and could make as much "noise" as she wanted.

James slammed the door shut right after Lily got in. Which once again didn't matter because she could just go through it.

James threw the glass he had been drinking out of down on the ground. The glass shattered into a million pieces and the punch that had been inside it splattered on the hard floor, making puddles everywhere. He picked up a lamp that had been on a small dresser by the door and threw it across the room too. It also shattered but then it returned and repaired itself to the dresser.

Lily had never known what an effect that she had on James. She never knew that James had cared so much. Lily pulled herself out of the memory and went back to bed, content.

A few more days passed and with each day she got to know James better, the more she actually cared about him. James seemed to be going in the opposite direction. It seemed that with each passing day, the more he seemed to avoid her. Finally there was no avoiding her. It was the day of the rehearsal.

"James we've got to be there now!" Lily screamed. She had been staying at James's for the past few days. She figured that in a few days she'd be living there permanently, she might as well get used to it.

James came down the stairs just then. "Come on," he said quickly. There was no emotion in his voice whatsoever. She couldn't head anger, or sadness, or rejection.

Lily followed him out the door and down a few blocks to the park. It was beautifully set up for tomorrow's wedding. It was a crisp autumn day and Lily inhaled the smell of a late barbecue somewhere in the neighborhood. There were people walking quickly around the park, and they seemed to be trying to get things done.

Lily had finally figured out what she was going to do for bridesmaids. Lauren was still around and she was going to be her maid of honor, and for the other two she needed for the last Marauders in the group she chose a few childhood friends that she hadn't really been in touch with. They were thrilled to see her, and quickly obliged.

"Where is the bride?" said one of the bridesmaids in a hurry.

"Right here," Lily replied walking up behind her. It was her first childhood friend. She had long blonde hair and her name was Katie. She smiled and hugged Lily.

"Are you nervous?" she asked smiling.

"Sure," Lily replied smiling, pulling her coat tighter around her. James wrapped his arm around her. It was the first time he had touched her in the past few days. Lily pulled away from him.

Lily went through the whole rehearsal in a daze. She saw James also not paying any real attention. Finally the whole thing was over and they were at the rehearsal dinner. James was down a few chairs from her, not what usual tradition calls for, but Lily shrugged it off.

There were women coming up to him from other tables in the restaurant and flirting with him. She supposed that they didn't know that this was a rehearsal dinner so she ignored it. Some were hanging on him now.

Lily got up and made her way over to where James was sitting. He didn't see her, but also got up. He started to follow the women back to their table. Lily sped up a little bit and grabbed his hand.

He turned around and gave her an annoyed look. "What are you doing?" he asked, wrenching his hand out of hers.

"What am I doing? What are you doing?" she seethed.

"I'm not doing anything," James replied with a grin on his face.

"James, we're waiting," said one of the other women with a smile.

"James, we're getting married tomorrow. How can you be going with other women right under my nose?" she yelled.

"Keep it down Lily, there are other people here. And remember that you didn't want to get married in the first place. Remember all those times you hated me? All those times you hurt me? What I'm doing now is nothing in comparison to what you've done to me in the past," James spat back. Everyone in the restaurant fell quiet and were all staring at the two.

Lily looked surprised, and then she turned around and left. She left everyone in the restaurant. James stood there looking like an idiot. He quickly ran one of his hands through his hair and left through the door that Lily had gone through. He couldn't find her though.

Lily ran down the street and tried to find a taxi to take her back home to James's. She was gong to grab her things for the wedding and go back to her place. She didn't want to be with James tonight, after making her look bad in the restaurant, especially on the night before their wedding.

Lily threw the door open, and didn't shut it after her. She stormed up the stairs and into their room and grabbed her dress, her shoes, her list of things she needed to do, and her jewelry. She was just about to leave the room and head back out when something caught her eye.

In the room were a large bed and two dressers and a desk. There was a hard-wood floor, and the walls were white, as were the blankets on the bed. All of the wood in the room was a dark brown and wasn't polished; it was rough. On the desk was a piece of parchment, and a bottle of red ink. There were a bunch of crumpled up pieces of parchment sitting in the wastebasket, being the curious person she was, Lily started to read it.

The first line was scratched out many times.

My Dear Julia,

I don't know how many times I've thought of you over the past few weeks. I believe I've told you that I'm getting married. I can't stand the thought of not having you around anymore. I will miss you dearly. I

That was as far as Lily got when a voice stopped her.

"What are you doing?" it asked. It was James. Lily stood up immediately and turned around to face him.

"I was just leaving. I'll see you tomorrow," Lily replied and tried to push her way through him, but he was blocking the door.

"Why are you mad at me?" he growled. Lily didn't answer him and pushed him out of the way.

"What was that for?" he yelled.

Lily tried to run down the stairs, but James caught her at the top step and held her back with his strong arms.

"What do you want me to do?" Lily whimpered. She dropped her dress and everything else she was holding on the ground.

James turned her around slowly and held her. Lily looked down and he pulled her face back up to meet his and he kissed her.

He kissed her hard, but he kissed her tenderly. Lily was once again caught by surprise as he kissed her, but she responded quicker this time, putting everything into it.

James backed them away from the stairs and pushed Lily up against a wall. Lily was afraid that she was going to lose all of her control right there on the top landing of her future home before she was married. She remembered what she had read in his room. She pulled away and slapped him across the face.

"I hate you," she said quickly, grabbed her stuff, and flew down the stairs, slamming the door behind her.

James stood there once again running his hand through his hair, clueless.

Lily ran down the street and into a dark alley and apparated back to her apartment. All of her boxes were packed and there were no blankets Lily didn't care though, she fell down on it immediately, exhausted. She didn't bother to set the alarm so she'd wake up on time, she figured that if she slept in late someone would eventually come and get her.

She slept well that night, and woke up early the next morning. There was sunlight pouring in the small window that was above her empty bed. There was a knock at her door and she pulled herself out of bed to open it.

It was James.

"What are you doing here?" she asked rudely.

"I just came to see my beautiful bride," he replied smoothly with a grin. She could smell alcohol on his breath, and looked as though his clothes had been put on in a hurry. Buttons were in the wrong spots, and some weren't even buttoned.

"It looks like you had fun last night," Lily replied coldly after looking over him. A look of guilt passed through his eyes. Lily hated to see that look in his eyes.

James started to say something but Lily cut him off. "You're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding starts, or something bad will happen," Lily said, trying to shut the door on him. He held it open with his foot.

"I don't believe in superstitions," he replied smugly, and pushed the door back open. Lily fell back against the wall from the force of it.

"You'll wish you hadn't done that," Lily said and locked herself in her room with many charms. She had just gotten out of the shower when she saw James laying on her bed.

"You have quite a nice singing voice, Lily," he said with a true, genuine smile.

"How did you get in here?" Lily squealed.

"I had you as a tutor in charms," he answered.

Lily groaned. "Get out," Lily said angrily.

"No," James said.

"Get out or I'll hex you."

"No."

Lily didn't say anything else but simply grabbed her wand off of the dresser by the wall and didn't hex James. She made him disappear. She had sent him to her sister's house. That should keep him away long enough for her to get ready.

Lily then disapparated to James's house. Her bridesmaids were waiting for her to help get her ready. "Why aren't you dressed?" asked Lauren.

"James was bothering me, so I ditched him and came here, I don't know where he is," Lily replied with a smile. Lauren was also a witch and she knew how James and Lily didn't get along.

"Well you are set to walk down the aisle in half an hour Lily, and you're not even half ready," said Katie hurriedly. Her long blonde hair was tied back sloppily.

Lily didn't know what happened over the next half-hour. She was in a daze, it seemed. The whole time she thought about the letter that she had read in James's room. _He's seeing another woman. I'm not good enough for him. I was right all of these years, he doesn't care about me at all, it was all the thrill of the chase. He'll be with other women all of our marriage._

Lily couldn't believe that he would do that. She had quickly learned to at least like him a little bit. She would now be stuck in a failing marriage. He would come home with other women. Especially this Julia woman. She could just picture her slaving at home all day and then him coming home late at night, smelling of alcohol and exhausted from partying and God knows what else. The thought of it depressed her very much and she started to cry.

"Oh, Lily, it's going to be ok. You'll see James in a few minutes, you'll be fine and happy. It's all going to be over in an hour or so," Katie said, noticing the tears that were running down Lily's face and ruining her makeup.

"It's not going to be ok," Lily said quietly. _She had to find a way out of it, she knew what she would. James would be sorry. James would regret everything._

"Ready to go, Lily?" asked Lauren. There was a look of sympathy in her eyes. Lily nodded as they walked her out the door and down towards the park. It was nice and warm outside. The sun was shining and it was perfect weather for a wedding. The leaves were all a perfect color and complimented Lily's hair perfectly.

Her hair was pulled back into a knot at the nape of her neck. Tiny little baby's breath were encircling it. She had on her white wedding dress with the off-the-shoulder sleeves and pearl-embroidered bodice with the skirt flowing out gently. She didn't have heels on, but rather ballet-like creamy white shoes. There were two strings of pearls on her neck which were in turn looped around many times at varying lengths. She had a very light complexion, and there was a glittery powder all over her chest and shoulders. She had on a pair of dangly diamond-in-pearl earrings.

They reached the "aisle" that Lily was going to walk down. It was a white carpet rolled out to the gazebo. There were twenty rows of fifteen chairs on either side of her, and all of them were filled. James had invited the majority of the guests. He had the most relatives, and the most money after all. Lily had invited some of her extended family, and her sister (who had actually come), and some of her old friends, and some of her remaining friends from Hogwarts, the ones who had survived, anyway. Lily was determined not to think of that now, though.

Her bridesmaids were now walking down the aisle with the groomsmen, in other words the Marauders. The bridesmaids were wearing light red-orange dresses that dipped in the back, and had a high neck, the skirt ended at about the knee. They both had their hair piled up on top of their heads in curls.

Lauren was wearing a dress of a similar color to the other two, but it was a bit more vibrant and was strapless, and it had a long skirt that fit her curves perfectly. Her dark brown hair was down and curled a bit.

They were all waiting for Lily to process down the aisle. She held her bouquet of roses tighter, and put a small smile on her face and tried not to focus on anyone in particular. She kept her eyes mostly on the ground.

She reached the end of the aisle after an eternity. She was determined not to look James straight in the eye. She couldn't believe that she was marrying this man. She didn't listen to anything the priest was saying. Finally she snapped out of it as they were doing the peace offering, and the gifts were being brought up. It was finally time for the actual wedding ceremony to start.

Lily listened as the priest went over everything, and James repeated his vows.

Lily repeated hers also. "Lily, do you take this man, James Potter, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" asked the priest. She finally looked James in the eye. She saw nothing.

Lawfully wedded, that's right. This whole thing is because of some stupid law. It had nothing to do with a choice, it was all some stupid, stupid law. I wonder what would happen if I said no and left.

"Lily?" she heard James ask. She snapped back to reality. She looked into James's eyes one more time. There seemed to be worry in them. _He's probably only worried because he doesn't want to be the one rejected. That would make him look like an idiot._

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the priest asked yet again. Lily scowled at James.

"I do," she replied, somewhat reluctantly after a while longer.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride," the priest said, smiling.

James pushed Lily's veil back. He searched her face for a minute. He gave her a look as though he were asking permission to kiss her. Lily stood there blankly.

He leaned forward and kissed Lily. For once she wasn't caught by surprise. She didn't feel anything this time around except for hatred towards him. She didn't respond, but rather pulled away after what she thought was an appropriate amount of time.

There was applause as Lily and James walked back up the aisle. Soon all of the other people were out of earshot.

"I'm sorry," James said suddenly, pulling Lily towards him.

"For what?" Lily asked coldly.

"There's something I need to tell you," James said. Lily was a bit interested now.

James didn't have time to tell her whatever it was before they were mobbed by well-wishers and the photographer. People were headed back to the Potter Mansion back in Godric's Hollow. James had a huge house and a huge backyard that they would be using. The backyard was really big and it went back into a forest. There were quite a few acres of land there that the Potter's owned. It was wonderful because of the gardens. James didn't take it all for himself though. He let all of the little kids from the village and anybody who wanted to use it, use it.

"Congratulations," said a short and plump lady.

"Thank you," Lily replied as the woman shook her hand.

James hesitantly put an arm around her waist. "They want to take our pictures now, it shouldn't take all that long," James whispered into her ear, and he led her to where the camera was assembled.

"What a happy looking couple," remarked a few younger people walking by. Lily had to smile at it.

If only they knew.

Author's Note: Ok. I've neglected this story enough, and I hope this is long enough. It will get more...interesting to read in a couple chapters or so, that's where the plot will move along more. I've got so many ideas for this. Feedback please?


	5. Heart to Heart

Lily stood outside the front door of the Potter mansion with James. They had decided to get a few quiet minutes to themselves before they went into the gardens for the party. They figured it was nice enough outside to have them out back as opposed to in the house.

James was leaning against the door.

"What was it that you wanted to tell me earlier, James?" Lily asked suddenly, staring at him.

"Oh, um--well, you know how at Hogwarts I--" but James was cut off by the door opening and he fell in on top of a hysterical Sirius.

"You're wanted out back, you know," Sirius said, laughing the whole time.

Lily smiled a bit at Sirius who was staring at her in awe. "You look so beautiful, Lily," he said quietly.

"Thank you," Lily replied automatically. James seemed a bit jealous at how Sirius was looking at Lily, and he pulled her quickly through the door leaving Sirius standing there with a goofy grin on his face.

"He's nicer that I thought," Lily said quietly. James hadn't said anything. They went through the house and out to the back where they were met with applause. Lily didn't like all of the attention. She wasn't used to it at all.

James led her over to a long table that had been set up for them. Lily liked how he was sticking to a muggle tradition. Lily had thought that they were getting a DJ for the event, but was pleasantly surprised to also see a small orchestra. Lily loved traditional classical music.

"So what are we supposed to do the whole time?" Lily asked James as soon as they were sitting down.

"Well, you have yet to meet my family," he replied. Lily inwardly groaned. She really did hate meeting new people. She wished she could just stay with same people who had been in her life all along.

"I'll be on my best behavior," Lily said with a pout. James started to laugh at her.

Lily managed to be civil to James throughout the whole reception. There was nothing really special about the occasion. It was just like every other wedding that she had ever been to. That is until everyone was busy dancing. A reluctant Lily was dancing with James. All of a sudden he leaned over and whispered something in Lily's ear. She didn't catch a word of it, but she just nodded and pretended like she did. She really didn't want to have James lean over in her ear again. It was quite unpleasant, and she was angry with him still.

"You don't seem all that shocked," James commented as he looked at Lily intently.

"I expected it," Lily replied, still not knowing quite what was going on.

"Expected it? How is that, you've never been a particular target of his," he said with a look of confusion on his face.

"Let's not talk about it anymore. Let's talk about what we're going to do after all of these guests leave," Lily said so that she wouldn't have to keep pretending to know what he was talking about.

James shrugged, "What did I get myself into?" he muttered. Lily looked a bit shocked at that and pulled away from James.

"What did I do? Lily come back!" James asked suddenly. He was a bit too loud.

Lily ignored him though and stalked off into their house. She could feel people staring at her, but she didn't care. James was just a jerk.

She stomped up the stairs and threw open the door to James's bedroom and locked it behind her, the dress she was wearing getting caught in the door. She could hear footsteps on the stairs. She knew it would James. She didn't want to open the door and pull the dress out and give James the chance to catch her, so she just slipped out of the dress as quickly as possible. She heard James snigger, apparently he could see the dress on the other side of the door.

"Come on Lily, open up, the reception is almost over there's only about a half hour left, almost half of the people are gone anyway. Just come back down until everyone has gone, please Lily," James pleaded through the door.

Lily didn't say anything, but started to rummage through his dresser for something else to wear, but she couldn't. Everything had been moved up down into the basement for the day. She sat there in the middle of James's room, half naked. Lily gave up and jumped in bed.

James gave up and went downstairs. She watched quietly out the window that overlooked the backyard. James was just walking back and everyone was gathered around him. He flashed them a smile and said something, and everyone started to laugh.

She ducked as she saw James turn around and look up into the window. She was sick of James and his popularity. She hated it all through school, and she would hate it for the rest of her life.

Lily got sick of staring down at them and resorted to sitting in bed, waiting for James to come back up. She eventually got sick of that to and looked over to the desk. The letter that he had been writing was gone now, but she saw more parchment on the desk. She didn't start to look at it, but something else caught her eye.

A pensieve. Lily knew that she shouldn't be looking through James's memories, but she couldn't help herself.

She let her fingers skim the very top of the silvery liquid, and she was pulled in.

_There was a boy sitting on a bed and another one laying on it. They were having a conversation._

"I can't believe that she dumped me," said the one. Lily knew right away that it was James.

"She wasn't worth it, Prongs," said the other one. Lily recognized the voice as Sirius's.

"Wasn't worth it? She was everything. She always has been. It's just that stupid, stupid Diggory with his perfect job and perfect friends and his perfect house," James said angrily throwing something across the room.

Sirius backed toward the object that James had thrown and picked it up. "Prongs, why did Lily dump you?" he asked.

Lily couldn't believe what she was seeing. She had never meant to hurt James that bad. She had only gone out with James in seventh year as a prank on him. She had wanted to lead him on and then dump him. Apparently she was too convincing. All of a sudden she was pulled out of the memory and turned around to face James. He had a smirk on his face.

"How did you get in here?" Lily asked angrily, and pulled the sheets up around her, she was only in her bra and underwear, and she really didn't want James to see her like that.

James laughed and nodded towards the window. Lily mentally kicked herself for not putting a charm on that too.

"So did you have fun in my memories? You know, reliving the day you sent me into a six -month depression?" James asked her with an angry glint in his eye.

"No, James I-" Lily started but James put his hand over his mouth.

"Never mind that, ok? It's done," he said quietly.

Lily backed away, "I'm going to get changed," she said getting up and she went into the bathroom to change. She found a bathrobe and put that on so that she could go into her room to go find something else to wear.

It was hard to get into her room because that's where they had put all of the gifts that they had received that day. As she looked through her drawers for some decent looking pajamas, she found some lingerie in the top drawer pushed away in the corner. She picked it up, wondering where on earth it had come from. She had never bought something like that. Maybe it was one of her friends, encouraging her, or worse yet, James giving her a hint.

She picked the black lacy number up, entertaining the idea. It was very revealing and she was sure that James, being the man he is, would love it on her no matter what. Maybe if she did this for him, he wouldn't be mad at her anymore.

That was a crazy idea, she would do nothing like that for James. He was just a jerk.

Lily threw the lingerie back down in the drawer and found her normal pajamas lying right in front of the drawer. She put the silky pants and tank top on quickly and went into her bathroom. She could hear James downstairs watching television.

Lily quietly exited the room and headed downstairs to where James was. He was sitting on the couch, half asleep.

"James?" she asked quietly. His head snapped up.

"What do you want?" he asked tiredly.

"I just wanted to say that I'm going to bed now..." Lily replied quietly.

James nodded and she felt his gaze on her back the whole way up the stairs. She opened the door to James's room and hopped into his bed, pulling out a book and turning on the light, waiting for James to come in. She figured that she might as well get this over with.

After about an hour she heard James coming up the stairs, very slowly. He opened the door, and was very surprised to see Lily in bed.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, quite rudely.

"I'm waiting for you," Lily replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

James once again nodded, and he stumbled into his bathroom, turning on the tap. She heard him brushing his teeth, and changing, and after about five minutes he reappeared. Slowly, he walked over to the bed and cautiously pulled back the covers and slipped under them, also pulling out a book and reading.

Lily sat there for a few minutes. She felt quite awkward sitting in a bed with James Potter, but she reminded herself that she was married to him now, so she would have to get used to it.

"James?" she asked.

"What?" he replied without looking up from his book.

"You know that tonight will be... my first...time so could you maybe...go easy on me?" Lily asked hesitantly.

"What?" James asked, quite clueless.

Lily blushed. "Well I kind of figured since this was our wedding night, and you being the person you are that we'd have sex tonight," Lily replied, quite obviously _very_ embarrassed.

Lily could see that James was trying hard not to laugh, and she blushed even more. She attempted to hit him, but he ducked out of the way. Lily settled for rolling over and pulling the blankets up very high to her chin, while she turned out the light.

She could feel him staring at her back.

"Lily, I wouldn't take your first time away from you, your first time is supposed to be with someone special," James said quietly.

"Yes, but according to the law you can do anything you want with me," Lily retorted.

"You make it sound like you want to have sex with me," James said with a grin.

Lily was glad that she had turned the light off, she could feel her cheeks burning at least ten times brighter than her hair.

"I was just saying that I know that you love to--have sex, and that I just assumed you would be your normal egotistical self and take advantage of the _situation_ and me," Lily replied angrily.

"Lily you may think that I haven't changed at all, but you should take a look in the mirror. You're supposed to be Miss Perfect, but you're not. You're just as insecure as the rest of us, and just as stubborn and arrogant as I am," James said angrily, turning around so that he had his back to her.

Lily lay there, shocked. She couldn't believe that nerve James had.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he whispered, almost sure that she hadn't heard him. All of a sudden he heard a sniffle.

__

Was Lily crying?

He listened for a little longer, and determined that Lily was definitely crying. He rolled over to face her, and saw that Lily's shoulders were heaving. He quickly wrapped an arm around her.

"Lily, I'm sorry," he whispered a bit louder. She broke out sobbing. James didn't really know what to do.

"It's--not--supposed--to--be--like---this," she said between sobs.

"What do you mean?" James asked curiously.

Lily took a minute to regain what little composure she had left.

"I wasn't supposed to marry you. I was supposed to marry someone that I loved, it wasn't supposed to be all quick like this, I didn't even know anything about you before this except for what everyone at Hogwarts knew, I didn't care about you at all," she answered quickly.

"I realized that this wasn't going to be easy. I knew that it would be very hard from the minute I sent off the letter. I knew from listening to you that your sister was cruel. I figured she'd probably send you off to the Malfoy's or Snape, and I figured that even though you hate me, at least you'd be with someone who at least cared about you," James said quietly.

"I don't hate you," Lily said suddenly.

"You sure could've fooled me," James replied.

"I don't though, it's just, you get on my nerves," Lily said, failing to really explain why she disliked James so much. She didn't really want to tell him.

"Well, I'll try to stop that," James said thoughtfully.

"I hope so," Lily replied sleepily as she rolled over and tried to fall asleep.

After a few minutes she felt James drape an arm around her. It felt nice.

"Goodnight, James," Lily said.

"Goodnight, Lily," James replied, kissing her lightly on the top of her head.

Author's Note: Well this took me awhile. Oh well. My computer crashed like three times this month, so I haven't really been able to get on. I'm sorry. Anyway I would also like to say that I was going to do review responses this time, but I can't access my inbox from the computer at, so I can't go back and read them all. And I would like to make a correction from my last author's note. I said that "I hardly doubt this is an original idea" I meant that I **_highly_** doubt that this is an original idea. Sorry if anyone started to think I was getting a bit arrogant, I typed that in a hurry.

THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO REVIEWED!


	6. Paranoid

Lily woke up the next morning not recognizing where she was. After a bit of panic she realized that she was in James's bed, but he had apparently already gotten up. Lily hoped that she wouldn't have to wake up alone every morning for the rest of her life. She figured that she could deal with it since she had been doing it all her life, but it would be nice to have James next to her in the morning.

_What was she thinking? It would not be nice to wake up to James every morning!_

Lily tried to get that thought out of her head. She must have really been tired to be thinking that. She got up and went to go take a shower, thinking maybe it would clear her head and drive the crazy thoughts from her mind.

As she stood letting hot water run down her body she remembered the letter to Julia that she had found. _Who is she?_

* * *

James sat downstairs in his kitchenreading slowly over the letter he had written Julia. He was going to miss her so much.

James knew that he would eventually see her again after he and Lily had kids. _'If that ever happens.'_ James thought to himself. He had grown awfully close to Julia over the last few years.

* * *

Lily came down the stairs looking for James. She felt a lot better now that she had gotten her thoughts sorted out. She would have to ask James who exactly Julia was, and she wasn't going to beat around the bush.

She found James sitting in the kitchen looking over a piece of parchment. The kitchen was very large, but at the same time small and cozy. Everything they needed was sitting neatly spread over the long counter on one side and there was an island in the middle for cutting things up. That's also where the stove was. Off on the other side of the kitchen was a small table that seated about four. James was sitting on a stool that stood by the island. Lily sat down next to him.

"What do you usually do for breakfast?" Lily asked.

James grunted in response and picked up his cup of coffee.

"Well I am going to make you a real breakfast then," Lily replied with a bright smile. She might as well make the best of things, right?

She opened various cupboards and found some pans. She used one to make eggs and in the other she made bacon, when that was almost done she popped some toast in.

As they were eating James didn't say a word. Lily thought it was strange for someone who usually doesn't shut up.

"James, who's Julia?" she asked suddenly.

James got a strange look on his face and he choked on the toast that he was trying to swallow. He was saved from answering Lily though because just then the doorbell rang. James, immediately went to go answer it and came back a few minutes later with Sirius.

"Good morning, Mrs. Potter," he said with a grin.

"Shut up, Black," Lily replied with a glare.

"Not so good in bed last night, James?" Sirius asked with a mischevious look in his eye.

James let out a sigh, "Is that all you ever think about, Sirius?" he asked.

"You can't answer a question with a question, James," Sirius said, "and for the record, yes that's all I ever think about."

"Well for your information, Sirius we didn't do anything last night," Lily said as she started to wash the dishes.

"How could you sleep in the same bed with someone as hot as her and not do anything? Prongs, you're losing your touch!" Sirius said with a horrified look on his face as he put his hand on James's forehead, "Are you sure you're feeling well?" he asked. James slapped Sirius's arm away from him.

"Did you have a real purpose for coming over other than seeing how my sex life is?" James asked.

Sirius nodded, "We're spending the next couple of days with Remus, remember?"

"Let me get ready and then I'll meet you guys there," James said getting up from his spot in the kitchen. Lily sent Sirius off with some of the leftover food and finished cleaning up.

She was wiping down the counter when she noticed that James had left the parchment he was reading earlier there. It was the letter he had written to Julia. It was the same except there was now a post script. It said:

_P.S. I hope that we will meet once again after Lily and I have children._

Lily assumed that he was planning to divorce her after she had his children. Well that suited her just fine. They might as well get it over with sooner or later. Lily would be glad to get this behind her.

* * *

Lily spent the day cleaning up. She expected James to come home later that night, but he never did. _He's probably out with some other woman, probably Julia. _

When she finally felt tired enough to go to bed, she went around the large house and locked all of the doors. She was very paranoid about that kind of thing, she always had been. After she had checked every door and double-checked she finally went upstairs to their bedroom and got ready for bed.

It was strange being all alone at night. She had never noticed how many strange noises there were in this old house. She was scared to death! She wished James were there so he could tell her what all of the noises were at least, but she didn't even know where he was.

Just to be safe she grabbed her wand and pulled the covers up closer to her. That always made her feel safer when she was a little girl.

She heard a loud bang and footsteps coming up the stairs. Lily listened harder. She could make out the sounds of at least five different pairs of feet coming down the hall to where she was.

"Search all the rooms, Potter's got to be here somewhere!" she heard a voice called out. She was quite sure that it was the voice of Severus Snape, a known Death Eater.

Lily tried to apparate out but she couldn't. The only way out was the door, or the window, but the window was too high off the ground and going out the door was surely a death wish. The only way out was to fight.

The door was swung open so hard that a mirror on the wall next to it fell and shattered into a million pieces.

"Crucio!"

Lily quickly dodged the beam of red flying towards her. She hit the back of her head on the corner of the dresser. She could feel her warm blood running down her neck.

"Expelliarmus!" she said quickly, with enough force that her attacker flew back and landed on the top stair. She quickly grabbed the wand and threw it out the open window, which she could've sworn she locked.

More and more of them were coming down the hall towards her, she felt that the only thing she could do now is run. Too bad she didn't know her way around the house too well.

She quickly fled down the stairs and took a right. She knew that if she went to the front door immediately she wouldn't be able to get it open, and then they would catch her. There was no way she could get that deadbolt open in a hurry.

She saw flashes behind her but kept running. She felt a spell hit her square in the back as she rounded the corner and felt the most excruciating pain in her life. She must have been hurt by the Cruciatus Curse. She saw everything in slow motion as she screamed in pain. She used whatever little strength she had left to send off a message for help. The last thing she saw was the jet of silver fly out from her wand and out. Then everything went black.


	7. Homecoming

Author's Note: Thank you to those who reviewed! I really appreciate it! I know the last chapter was short for the time between updates but I couldn't help it, as soon as my mother sees me on the computer she kicks me off and sends me out of the room because "I live on the computer and I'm monopolizing it" which isn't true, ok so maybe it is. Anyway, I loved the response from all of you saying that Julia is a horrible person and that James doesn't love Lily. You guys are ruling out a few possibilities though. All I'm going to say is you'll find out who exactly Julia is next chapter and that you are all in for a big pleasant surprise.

James was sitting in the Shrieking Shack with the other Marauders. Poor Remus was having a really bad night. It was by far the worst transformation he had had in the past few years. James hated to see his friend in pain. They wouldn't even consider running around the village tonight.

The only good part of Remus having a bad transformation is that he didn't feel like fighting with Padfoot and Prongs.

* * *

Dumbledore was in his office when the jet of silver flew in through his open window. Someone in the Order was in trouble. 

As the beam of silver settled on his desk he got the details that were inside the spell. Lily was at James's house, and she was under attack.

As soon as he finished reading the message he called a few other Order members to his office to help. He also called Minerva up, letting her know that he would be leaving for a while. He tried to get a hold of James and Sirius, but couldn't reach them anywhere. He would have tried to get a hold of Remus but he remembered that it was a full moon.

Gathered in his office were Gideon and Fabian Prewett. Old Professor Dumbledore would also be going and figured that that would be enough. He didn't think that they would send that many Death Eaters after Lily and James.

When they got there he saw a few Death Eaters coming out of the back door and walking towards the woods in the back yard. He could also see the shadows of about three more in the windows on the lowest level of the house. He couldn't make out the shadow of Lily at all, which wasn't a good sign. Either they had gotten her, or she was hiding somewhere.

Dumbledore took care of the few Death Eaters in the back of the house with a few very powerful stunning spells. As they fell to the ground he took off their masks, all of them were his former students. He left them lying there in the soft grass so he could help the Prewett brothers inside, and try to find Lily. They would be out cold for hours, it's not as if they were going anywhere.

As he entered the house he saw things were scattered all over. Pictures that had once hung on the walls had come crashing down to the floor and furniture was overturned. Laying crumpled on the floor in the kitchen was Lily. She was in a small pool of blood and was unconsious. The old professor levitated the body of one of his most brilliant students ever into the air and disapparated to St. Mungo's.

She was immediately taken into a room, and he was later informed that her injuries were not life threatening but she was in serious condition,and that she had been under the Cruciatus Curse for about ten minutes. So there was a small chance that she could've lost her memory. That was what Dumbledore was most worried about. Lily was going to play a big role in the war, but that wouldn't happen if she didn't remember anything.

* * *

James came back to his house in the morning to find it totally trashed. He hadn't expected that kind of thing from Lily, he was about to go yell at her, but couldn't find her anywhere in the house at all. 

Instead he found a note in the loopy handwriting of his former Headmaster. Lily had been attacked last night. James felt sick. He would never forgive himself if Lily had been seriously hurt.

He quickly took a shower and changed because he was covered in blood and his once untidy hair was matted down with more of it. Remus had been feeling better later in the night and had attacked Padfoot. James had been dozing and hadn't realized it right away, but got into the middle of the fight to stop it, but only succeeded getting himself hurt.

As soon as he got to St. Mungo's he saw Dumbledore. He immediately walked over to the old man and demanded to know what had happened to Lily.

"Lily was home alone and Death Eaters came looking for you. They couldn't find you so they started to attack her. We don't really know what happened but it looks as if she put up a fight by the condition of your house. She just woke up. Her injuries obviously aren't life threatening, but they found out that she had been held under the Cruciatus Curse for about ten minutes, James," Dumbledore replied quietly.

James paled, "Ten minutes?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

James sat down in a chair in the waiting room and then a young nurse came out and told him that he could visit Lily now.

He entered the room, which was very white and sterile. The only colorful thing was Lily's hair. Her skin was very white, and her eyes were closed. Her breathing was very fast and shallow. James sat down next to her bed and picked up her hand.

"I didn't think you cared, James," she whispered quietly. A small smile graced her pale face.

James laughed at that, he knew then that Lily would be fine.

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly, "if I had been there you wouldn't have had to endured that."

"I can still feel it, James, it burns," she replied, as if she didn't even hear James. A small tear fell from her left eye which was still closed. James stroked her forehead and Lily's eyes flew open. James noticed that her usually vibrant eyes now held no emotion. Her skin was burning up.

* * *

Two weeks later Lily was discharged from the hospital. She was still weak, but her memory was still intact, which James took as a good sign.

In the time that he had spent home while Lily was in the hospital, James had cleaned up the house rather well. He had started some various projects around the house that had been waiting for a couple years. He was thinking of putting the house up for sale now because the Dark side knew where they lived. He couldn't risk have them attacking again.

As soon as Lily came back she went immediately to bed. All she had been doing lately is sleeping, and James couldn't blame her, he'd probably be the same way if he were in her shoes.

James was surprised when his fire turned green and his boss appeared. Moody was a fair man, who liked to push people to work harder. He said that James had to come back to work tomorrow because there was a mountain of paperwork that he needed to do. James was an auror, who liked to put off his reports as long as possible.

This left one problem though. There needed to be someone around the house to look after Lily while he was gone, and he didn't have any elves anymore. He let them all go but one when his parents died, and Trixie had died about a year ago when he was in the middle of his seventh year. It was quite disgusting when he came home after he graduated, it had taken him weeks to get the smell out.

He knew who he could get to come.

* * *

Lily woke up the next morning, not quite remembering where she was and screamed. James came running into the room to ask what was wrong when she realized that she was back home.

"I've got to go to work today, Lily," James said while he put on some of his thicker robes, it was getting quite cold outside.

"What if they come back?" Lily asked, her eyes widening.

"They won't, I've put up wards and everything, besides they wouldn't come back while I'm gone," James replied, "but I've asked someone to look after you while I'm gone, she's an old friend."

"What's her name?" Lily asked while she adjusted her pillows.

"Julia," James replied.

Lily gasped, she couldn't imagine what she'd do when she was in the same room as the woman James loved.

"What's the matter?" he asked. Lily shook her head.

James walked over to Lily and placed a kiss on her forehead, "I hope you feel better soon," he said, and left to go to the Ministry.

**Author's Note: Yeah, I know it's short. But hey, this means we all get to see who Julia is next chapter. I know it's very horrible of me to do this, but hey it's fun for me. I'll try to get the next chapter up within a couple of days! Thursday at the latest. **


	8. Sirius's Brilliant Idea

Lily wanted to know who Julia was. She wanted to stay awake long enough to see the woman that James truly loved, the one she assumed he was cheating on her with, but all too quickly her eyes drooped shut. She was just too tired.

Lily awoke several hours later, being shaken awake by James. She slowly opened her eyes, "Why did you wake me up?" she asked groggily.

"You were screaming, Lily," he replied softly.

Lily tried to remember what she had been dreaming about, but her mind was blank, "What time is it?"

"It's just about six," James answered.

"I slept that long?" Lily had never thought she would ever sleep almost a whole day away.

"Julia said that you really didn't need her around, because you slept the whole time. She also said that you were talking in your sleep, but she said she couldn't make out what you were saying. Part of the time you were speaking in another language, I heard you just before you started screaming," James said, sitting on the foot of the bed and loosening his tie after he took off his robes.

"Who exactly is Julia?" she asked after a while.

"Julia is a very kind woman. She was the nanny that my parents hired when I was little and they had to work all the time. When they died in fifth year she became a mother to me. She always had been since my parents were never there, but I grew to love her more than ever, does that answer your question?" he answered.

Lily nodded, and felt a blush rise into her cheeks. How wrong she had been!

"Who did you think she was?" James asked noticing Lily's reddening face.

"Nothing, it's silly," Lily replied, rolling over onto the cool pillow.

"No, really, who did you think she was?" James asked again, rubbing Lily's back.

"If you must know I thought that you were having an affair with her. I read a letter to her, and the way you put it, it sounded like she was some woman you were having an affair with," Lily replied pulling the pillow over her head, she could hear James trying to stifle his laughter.

"It's not funny," she said through the pillow.

James started to pry the pillow away from Lily, when he succeeded, Lily turned away from him.

James then slowly turned her face towards him so that she was looking at him.

"Listen, Lily, I would never ever do that to you," he said seriously. Lily could tell from the look in his eyes that he was definitely telling her the truth.

Lily felt well enough to go downstairs to eat dinner with James. He was very worried about her though and helped her down the stairs. Lily didn't really need his help, but let him anyway. It was just now that she realized how many stairs there really were, and how it was amazing that she hadn't fallen when she had been trying to escape.

All through dinner James was staring at Lily, it was quite awkward to her. She had never been anything to stare at with her red hair that wasn't either straight or curly, it was just there down to her shoulders now because she had cut it. Her eyes weren't anything special either, people always made a big deal about how green they were, but ever since she learned that green was Slytherin's color she had hated them, across her cheeks were freckles that made her look like an ignorant child. She hated those freckles, every last one. Her skin was pale, she imagined she was probably the whitest person anyone had ever seen.

After dinner Lily went back up to bed, without help from James. She had the lights off and she was lying comfortably under the covers, but sleep just would not come for her. Memories from that night kept coming into her head. It was horrible to be in that house again.

An hour later James came to bed. Lily could hear him trying not to wake her up, but he was kind of clumsy and ran into the corner of the bed.

"Are you ok?" she asked quietly as she heard James swear under his breath.

"Yeah, why are you still awake?" he replied lying down on his side of the bed.

"I couldn't sleep," she answered, not saying exactly stating the problem.

"Will you be ok alone tomorrow? Julia is going away for a while on a...trip," James said after a while.

Lily thought about it for a while. She could always leave the house during the day while James was gone, she certainly didn't want to be alone here again.

"I want to move, James," she said finally.

"So do I, I don't think that it's safe here anymore now that Voldemort-" at this point Lily cringed, like most other witches and wizards do when they hear the Dark Lord's name.

James saw this and sighed, "Why can't you learn to say his name Lily? It's just a name, that's all. How can you be my wife if you can't even say his name? I don't ask that you love me, and I don't ask that you love me. I don't even ask you to have sex with me, all I ask is that you be able to say Voldemort's name, since you'll be seeing a lot more of him since you're married to me," he said with a bit of anger in his voice.

"Why is he after you, James?" Lily asked. She was starting to fear her new life with James.

"It's not so much that he's after me, well he is now.He's been aftermy family since my parents graduated, it's just complicated, Lily. I know most people think that he's cruel and heartless, they've got the cruel part right, but he is not incapable of love." After he said that he pulled the covers over himself and tried to sleep. He couldn't sleep either and wrapped his arm around Lily.

"I love you," he whispered as he finally fell asleep.

Lily felt a bit of warmth enter her cold heart when he said that. She knew that he loved her, or else he was a very good actor. What she didn't know was how she felt about him. She didn't hate him anymore or even dislike him. She liked him a lot but she didn't love him yet either.

Every night went just like that with James whispering "I love you" to Lily and Lily not sleeping and trying to figure out why she couldn't love him too, and how on Earth James could possibly love a woman as cold hearted as she was.

* * *

A month passed and Lily and James were still living in James' house, which was under protection now, but neither of them felt safe. Sirius came around quite often to try to cheer them up with Remus, but those visits didn't happen as much anymore and Remus hadn't come for a couple of months now. 

Lily had joined the Order of the Phoenix recently. She and James had been quite busy with work for the Order lately, and they never saw any friends. Lily had always assumed that life with James would be one big party but she had come to realize that now with the war things were going to be pretty hard and no fun at all.

Tonight would be her first real assignment for the Order out in the field. She couldn't mess this one up. Sirius and James had had train her on their own time, teaching her things that they learned while training to be aurors.

She would be going with James and Sirius and a few other people to try and listen in to a meeting and then try and capture some of the Death Eaters as they were leaving. It wasn't doing all that much to help the cause, but at least some would be caught.

A couple of hours later, Lily was sitting at the foot of a tree watching the clearing in the middle of the forest in the countryside where the meeting was supposed to be held. They had been there for a couple of hours now, perhaps Voldemort had heard of their plans ahead of time? But from who? She knew that she could trust everyone in the Order, even Peter!

Lily sat there trying to figure out who had leaked the information, and what else the other side knew. They would just have to be more careful from now on. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't hear the footsteps that came up behind her.

She saw a shadow come up behind her. Slowly, an arm came around and wrapped itself around her neck, pulling her up from the ground. Lily whimpered.

"Trying to spy on us you little mudblood?" he whispered viciously.

Lily was about to reply with something sarcastic that would buy her more time, but then she felt the body behind her go limp and then it dropped and fell. She turned around with her wand out, ready to attack.

James was standing there also with his wand out.

"You shouldn't let your mind wander while you're on assignment, Lily. That's the number one rule!" he said angrily. Sirius appeared out of nowhere and stood next to James.

"They know we're here now, we should leave," he said.

James nodded, "Let's go," he said.

They were about to leave with a portkey that Dumbledore had left them (they couldn't apparate here because Voldemort had charmed it so only people on his side could get in and out) when about twenty pops announced the arrival of Death Eaters.

Lily saw different spells aimed towards her and she froze up. Sirius and James didn't seem to notice and they backed away to a side with less Death Eaters, they weren't completely surrounded--yet.

Lily didn't know exactly what happened next, except thatshe heard James yell her name andthen she was pulled towards him and they left.

* * *

Lily, James, and Sirius arrived atHogwarts, where the Order meetings had been taking placelately.

"What happened back there?"Sirius asked.

"I don't know, I just...froze up," Lily replied. It was a really lame answer and she felt stupid for not knowing why she froze up.

"Well we already knew that.Were you under the Imperius Curse?" James asked.

Lily shook her head, she had been under that before and that'sdefinitely not what it felt like.

Lily looked around the room. It was small, but there were rooms coming off of it as well. They were in a hidden part of the castle, not quite in the dungeons but not on the main floor either. The room they were in had brick walls, and there were several chairs that were extremely cushiony and red. There was a large desk up against one wall and that was about it. It was a very plain room.

All of a sudden Dumbledore walked into the room. They all stood up to greet him. He acknowledged them all and sat down at the desk. The old man wasn't being himself tonight, something had him worried.

"Were you successful?" he asked, the twinkle in his eyes gone.

"No, they knew that we were coming, we waited for hours and no one showed up, and then one Death Eater came and tried to strangle Lily and the others came, that's when we left," James replied, leaving out the part about Lily freezing up. Sirius thought that it was neccessary to inform Dumbledore about it though.

"Before we left, they were closing in around us and Lily froze up. I don't think that she has had enough training to go on missions yet, just think if we hadn't had a portkey, she could've died. We can't afford to lose someone, the sides are already uneven," he said.

Lily frowned. He had made it sound like she was completely incapable of going on missions.

"Is this true, Lily?" Dumbledore asked, folding his hands together.

"Yes," she replied, looking down.

"She's completely ready for field assignments," James said, putting his hand on Lily's leg.

"Do you know why you just seemed to 'freeze up', Miss Evans?" the old man asked.

"It's Mrs. Potter now, and no quite frankly I have no clue why it happened. All I know is that I couldn't move, and everything felt like slow motion. It's not that I panicked if that's what you were asking," she replied.

"I know that you think that you're feeling better, but I think that the attack on you left some emotional damage. I suggest that you take a few weeks away. Take a trip and get away, try and relax. Ever since the attack you have been busy fighting and you need a break. You never took a break for yourself. With that said, I have to go. There's something that I have to see to, Goodnight," the wise Headmaster said and left.

* * *

Lily had gone to bed, and James and Sirius were sitting in the kitchen talking.

"You guys have got to get out of this place," Sirius said.

"But where would we go? All of England is under attack and so is Ireland and the surrounding countries, the whole point is to get away from the war," James asked. It seemed as if there was no where to get away from Voldemort. He continued, "Besides, we want to get a new house as soon as possible."

"Why don't you go down to the Caribbean for a while? I've heard that it's supposed to be really great down there, and while you're gone Remus and I will take care of getting you guys a new house and selling this place, Lily will be so surprised when you guys come back she'll be so much happier!" Sirius replied.

James thought about this for a while and realized that for once his friend had a brilliant idea. Actually Sirius was a lot smarter that most people gave him credit for, yeah he got good grades and everyone knew that, but he was always labeled as the idiotic one of the group.James quickly agreed to the idea, and spent the rest of the night packing. He wanted to go the Muggle way, so he booked a flight, and a hotel suite. They would leave tomorrow morning.

They would have their honeymoon afterall!

**Author's Note: I was surprised at the amount of reviews I got for the last couple of chapters. A few of you are too smart and figured out the whole Julia thing. I'm thinking now I should've let you all think that Julia was James's ex, or whatever, I feel like I ruined the surprise! Anyone feel like I should've used Julia more? She'll be back...I think. **

**Now Lily and James will get their honeymoon, things will get better for our favorite couple soon. Have faith and review!**


	9. A Sort of Honeymoon

James shook Lily gently awake early the next morning, he had packed absolutely everything that he thought they needed and their plane left at ten in the morning, right now it was eight.

"Let me sleep," Lily muttered while she flipped over and buried her head in the pillow.

James never realized that Lily would be one of those people like Sirius who like to sleep. Personally, James liked to get up early in the morning and do things. He was definitely not one to waste the morning hours.

Quickly, he walked over to the light and flipped it on.

"Not the light," Lily screamed, pulling blankets up over her head, James sighed and yanked them off.

"Get up Lily, we're going on a trip," he said with a grin. Lily stopped trying to pull the blankets back and looked at him.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"We're going to the Caribbean, and our plane leaves in two hours! Now get up!" James replied, pulling her up.

Lily listened and emerged from the bathroom an hour later.

* * *

They had gotten to the airport just in time. Now they were sitting in the plane as it rolled down the runway. 

"Are you nervous?" Lily asked with a grin.

James had turned a pale color when the announcements had come on telling everyone to keep buckled. He nodded slowly gripping the armrests. Lily put a hand over his and he seemed to be a bit surprised at that.

* * *

A couple of hours later they landed on one of the Caribbean Islands. James hadn't remembered what it was called, nor did he care. He just wanted Lily to get a little bit of relaxation. 

Lily assumed that James knew where he was going, so she just followed him around. The truth was though that all he knew was the name of the place they were staying, he had no clue whatsoever how to get there.

They walked around aimlessly for a little bit.

"Are we lost James?" Lily asked, sensing his nervousness.

"Kind of. I know where we're going I just don't know how to get there," he replied with a small grin while he rana hand through his hair.

They ended up taking a shuttle to the hotel, which turned out to be quite nice.

It was quite large, the outside was whitewashed walls and there was a fountain sitting in the middle of the front lawn. On the inside there were marble floors and two large staricases reminiscent of the ones leading up to the dormitories at Hogwarts, only a lot fancier.

James had booked a suite on the fourth floor. It consisted of a bedroom, a bathroom, a sort of living room area, and a kitchenette. Off of the bedroom there was a beautiful balcony overlooking the beach. It was getting dark now and Lily was unpacking. His main goal was to make her forget the whole ordeal with Death Eaters, she was still a bit jumpy around strangers.

James figured he'd do the whole romantic cliche thing and he called roomservice to order strawberries (and chocolate to dip them in) and champagne. He planned that they would have it on the balcony. Lily was lying in the bathroom taking a shower.

There was a knock at the door and James let the man in to bring the food out to the balcony.

Lily came into the bedroom with a bathrobe on.

"Close your eyes," James said. Lily did and he led her out onto the balcony and sat her down in one of the chairs.

"Open your mouth now," he said, dipping one of the strawberries in the chocolate.

She tried to refuse, but in the end she gave up and reluctantly opened her mouth and James fed her the strawberry. She swallowed the first bit and her eyes flew open.

"Was that a strawberry?" she asked, her face getting very pale.

James nodded, "I figured that's what they do in most of the romantic muggle movies, I thought you'd like it."

"I'm allergic to strawberries," Lily replied.

James's eyes widened, "Are you going to be ok?"

Lily nodded, "It's not that serious. I don't get the huge life threatening reactions, I just try and stay away from them. I get horrible rashes and my tongue swells."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," James said, he got up to grab the phone, "What do you want to eat?"

"I'm not hungry anymore, I just want to go to sleep," Lily replied with a smile, "But it's the thought that counts, James."

So the first romantic thing he did for Lily failed miserably.

* * *

The next two days Lily refused to leave the room because the rashes were horrible. On the third day it rained so they stayed inside and went down to the pool. 

On the fourth day, the weather cleared up and it was very sunny. They decided to go on a boat for the day.

The boat they were on was more like a yacht. It was big and white and there were lots of other couples on it. The only difference, Lily thought, was that the other couples were in love. Back to the boat though. It had a nice deck that Lily liked looking off of, and underneath the deck were rooms, but Lily didn't spend much time down there.

"It's beautiful here, isn't it?" came a voice from behind Lily.

"Yes, it is, I suppose," Lily replied.

The man she was talking to was tall and very tan. He was wearing a white t-shirt and shorts, and he looked very muscular. His hair was dark brown and curly. He had brown eyes to match his hair.

"You suppose?" he asked.

"Yes, I think it's beautiful. I would find it more beautiful under different circumstances though," she answered.

The man looked puzzled.

"I'm here because I was sick and my friends thought that it would be good for me to get away," she replied.

"Nothing life-threatening I hope?" the man asked.

"No, I was trying to get out ofa stressful relationship that was making me sick," Lily replied. She knew that she was telling a complete lie to this man, but she hoped he would just go away. She also hoped that James wasn't around to hear any of this. She supposed what she was saying wasn't exactly a lie. She _was _scheming to get out of her "relationship" with James. Poor guy.

"So what's your name?" he asked.

"Lily...Evans," she replied hesitantly, "What's yours?"

"Isaac Escobedo," he answered with a smile.

"What are you here for?" Lily asked.

"No purpose, I'm just traveling during summer break," he said squinting, theboat was turning towards the sun now. Lily put her hand over her eyes.

"College?" she asked.

"Medical school actually," he replied.

_Too bad I'm married. Med school...a man after my own heart. _

"I always wanted to be a doctor when I was little."

"It's hard stuff. I was feeling burnout. It was horrible so I lightened my load a little bit, it might take me longer to graduate but it's worth it," he said.

"So do you have a girlfriend?" Lily asked. She had to know.

"No. They don't seem to understand my drive for my work. I figure I just might as well wait until I'm working," he said sadly.

"I was exactly the same way until I graduated two years ago from school, there was one guy who would rather run around and play pranks all day and he wouldn't let me do my work...always distracting me, he didn't get that I would just rather do my schoolwork," Lily said.

"We've got a lot in common then," Isaac said with a grin, "Would you like to go out for dinner when we get back to land?" he asked.

He looked really hopeful, but Lily just couldn't say yes, she was married.

"I can't, I'm married," Lily answered sadly.

"I thought you said you were here to get away from a relationship, what does it matter?" he pressed.

"He's here too, it's so complicated," Lily said and turned to go find James.

* * *

Sirius was sitting in the living room of James's mansion. It had just sold for a lot more than he expected. He couldn't believe his luck at finding a buyer so soon. 

He just hoped that he was the highest bidder on the house that he had found.

There was a three story house in a village called Godric's Hollow. It was bigger than the average house, but still quite a bit smaller than the Potter Mansion. He had also found out that back quite a few generations ago, James's family had lived in the same house. He thought that it was just begging for him to buy it.

It was made out of brick and had a nice sized lawn in front and back. There was a stone fence all around the perimeter of the property and there were huge trees on either side.

It was perfect for Lily and James. There were plenty of bedrooms so that maybe even the Order could meet there sometimes...he'd have to bring that up with James. It had five bedrooms and a huge kitchen, a living room, a huge study, and three bathrooms. The basement was finished and Sirius figured that's what they could use for the meeting space. There were a couple of other rooms that really served no purpose, and he supposed that those could be made into more bedrooms if James agreed to letting the Order meet there.

Yes, it was definitely perfect. He just had to wait for the realtor to get back to him.

* * *

It was the fifth day of their seven day vacation. James had gotten a bit jealous when he heard Lily talking to that man, but it was to be expected. 

He was really regretting accepting Lily's proposal. No he wasn't. They just needed to get used to the whole situation. Hopefully Sirius would get a new house for them by the time they got back. It really was an impossible task, but with the amount of disposable money James had on his hands it shouldn't be all that hard.

James was sitting on the bed in their room. Yesterday had been fun. When Lily had found him they dove off of the yacht and went swimming. The other people on the boat hadn't even noticed that they were gone. It had been nice.

They had shared their real first kiss.

_"How are we getting back to land?" Lily asked, all of sudden looking panicked. _

_"We'll just have to swim I guess," James replied with a mischevious glint in his eyes. He knew how to get back to the hotel. He had his wand, they would just apparate back to the hotel. _

_Lily pouted. "I don't like swimming," she said. _

_"But your dive was just about perfect, you sure could have fooled me," James said, puzzled. _

_"I like diving, not swimming. There's a difference," she answered, and then dunked him for his stupidity. _

_James resurfaced a few seconds later gasping for air. Lily just laughed. They weren't that far out into the sea, because they could see the beach from where they were. _

_While Lily was laughing James dunked her, but she got away from him and swam a few feet away. James didn't know what had happened though. _

_He was starting to get worried because Lily hadn't come back up for breath yet. _

_Lily popped up a few seconds later ten feet behind James. She laughed when she saw the look on his face. _

_James was swimming over to her now, when he got closer he wrapped his arms around her so she couldn't get away this time. _

_"You scared me," he whispered. _

_Lily looked at him. His eyes seemed bright with a sort of playfullness. _

It was then that she had kissed him.

Author's Note: Well there. I liked that chapter. Sort of. Not much happens I guess. I didn't want to elaborate on what exactly went on during their stay because it got really boring and long and repetitive.

Please Read and Review! And if you get the chance, check out my newest story _Pas de Deux._ I think it has potential! It's different.


	10. Over the Threshold

Lily was currently drying her hair with a towel. James was watching her as the sunlight poured in, giving her a glowing appearance. She was beautiful, not that she hadn't always; it was just that the bloodshot eyes that were accompanied by dark circles underneath. She looked happy, and the twinkle in her emerald eyes was back. Apparently the sun does her good. She looked so innocent with her damp hair curling around her freckled face.

Lily dropped the towel on a chair when she was finished and noticed James staring at her. She smiled a bit at this and pulled her bathrobe tighter around herself.

"I'm going to watch the sunset," Lily said, breaking the silence as she headed towards the balcony.

Down below her, she could see the white sand turning darkeras the crystal-blue waves collided with it. She really regretted that they would have to leave tomorrow. She wished that they could have something to show for it, other than the rashes (which were still visible to Lily) from a dinner gone awry.

James was standing beside her now.

"It's beautiful," he said finally.

"I wish that we were going back to a safe place. It seems so peaceful here," Lily said and sighed.

They sat in silence for a few minutes and then James wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She now rested her head on his shoulder. It was dark outside now, but she could still see a bit of the sun poking out behind some huge cliffs.

Lily turned. It was now or never, the setting was perfect. She turned and kissed James fiercely on the lips. He was surprised for a minute and didn't respond. Lily took that as a sign that he didn't want her and she pulled away.

"I'm sorry," she said blushing. She was glad it was dark out and he couldn't see her face, because she was pretty sure that it would rival her hair.

James chuckled to himself and Lily pouted.

"It's not funny," Lily said, still pouting.

James put one of his strong hands behind her head and pushed it towards him gently and kissed her. It wasn't as...hard as hers, but it was still passionate.

She could feel his hands going down her back and her bathrobe getting loose. If it fell open like it felt it was going to any minute now, she would be standing on a balcony naked for all of the island to see. She forced herself away slowly and pulled James into the bedroom and shut the glass door.

"Shall we continue?" Lilyasked with a smirk, that had to have been the cheesiest thing she had ever said. James smiled and pulled her towards, andstarted to kiss her jawline, and then down on her neck.

Lily was trying to keep herself steady against James but she found it was pretty damn near impossible. She pulled him over towards the bed andpushed him onto the bed. Ashe slowly pulled her down ontop of him her robe fell open. He swallowed hard.

Lily was surprised at herself for not feeling embarrassed, being naked in front of James. She really didn't care right now though because it was just the two of them. Nothing else mattered.

Lily wasn't really innocent after that night.

* * *

Sirius sat on a couch that he and Remus had just moved into James and Lily's new house. It was them and a couple of movers that were working on it right now. The two Marauders really hoped that Lily and James would like it. Of course James would like it though, because he helped pick out what furniture they were going to order; he had just left it to Remus and Sirius to move it all in.

"What do you suppose the "happy couple" is doing now?" Sirius asked.

"They're probably...having fun in bed," Peter said quietly, because he was a prude. Remus could never understand how you could be Sirius's friend and be a prude. It wasn't right.

Sirius laughed, "I highly doubt that one Wormtail. Lily wouldn't let him, she's a virgin," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

Remus shook his head at his friend's knowledge of Lily'slovelife.

"So how about those villagers, Remus?" Peter squeaked.

"They seemed nice enough. They made me wonder why this house was up for sale though. They seemed a bit strange, too eager almost," Remus replied, glad for the change of subject.

"Let's tidy upa bit, we've made a complete mess. Aren't Lily and James supposed to be back in a few hours?" Siriusasked.

"You're right, but let's stop down in the pub in the village to get a bite to eat first. Then we'll come back and clean up," Remus replied.

So they walked down the hill to the rest of the village.

* * *

Lily woke up the next morning, surprised to find herself wrapped up in James's arms. She felt her face flush as she noticed that they were both naked.

Lily remembered feeling so confused last night. The last thing she remembered clearly was James pulling her face up to look at him, and whispering that he would be gentle. She felt her stomach do a funny little flip as she remembered that.

She didn't want to wake James now because he looked so peaceful. She slowly and quietly grabbed one of the blankets that had been thrown on the floor during the night and wrapped it around herself. She then proceeded to cover James up a bit more because he shivered a bit.

She was going to take a nice long bath now because she was quite sore. Normally, she didn't like taking baths in hotels because the bathtubs were usually really dirty. This morning she didn't think that she'd mind too much, just as long as the sharp pain went away.

She dozed a bit in the bathtub, and didn't realize how long she had taken. She heard James moving about in one of the rooms in the suite now.

"Are you ok, Lily?" he shouted through the door.

"Yes," she answered feebly.

"Are you going to be much longer? Our flight leaves in a few hours, and he have to pack--and I don't think that the Caribbean has enough water for you to stay in there much longer," he added the last part with a little laugh.

"I'm getting out then, I wouldn't want them to run out," Lily replied while rolling her eyes.

A few minutes later Lily was out and her hair was toweled dry. Instead of a bathrobe she had on a towel.

James was sitting on the end of the bed waiting for her to come out. Lily sat down next to him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. He looked worried.

"I...didn't hurt you did I?" he asked slowly.

Lily took a while to answer, "Yes, butI expected itsince it was my first time. I'm just a little sore," she said finally.

James looked a little more relieved, "I was just worried because I found a bunch of blood on the sheets, I've never made a girl bleed before."

"We better start packing if we're going to make our flight," Lily said suddenly, looking at the clock.

"I packed some of it last night, but you might want to make a sweep of the suite before we leave," James said, throwing open a suitcase and shoving random articles of clothing in and, of course, all of the freebies.

After he was packed he went into the bathroom and took a quick shower.

They were ready to leave within the hour.

They were sitting in the plane now. Lily was seated by the window and James was in the middle. There was a strange woman on his left. She was wearing a long brown dress that looked almost like wizarding robes, except it had large slits up the legs, and she was old with graying hair.

James was gripping the armrests of his seat during take-off. He really didn't like the feeling of it and it made his ears pop. Lily noticed his white knuckles and put her hand over his, rubbing it soothingly. James seemed to relax at this and they shared a smile.

* * *

Hours later, they were back on the ground. James hailed a cab to take them home. Sirius had sent an owl to the airport, and it found James right away. He had gotten many stares though. On the scrap of parchment the owl carried was an address.

"Where would you like to go?" asked the cabbie.

"31 Godric's Hollow," James replied. Lily hadn't realized that this was a different address than where they lived.

They sat in silence for a while. Lily was looking out the window and James was trying to picture the new house. He hoped that it was furnished. He was smiling now.

"What's got you so happy?" Lily asked quietly.

"You'll find out soon enough," he replied. The grin on his face was contagious, and Lily broke out in a huge smile also. She was leaning her head against the window now. James moved over and wrapped an arm around her. She felt so cold and her teeth were chattering a little.

"Are you feeling ok?" he asked, pressing his hand to her forehead. It felt clammy. Lily nodded and said she was starting to get a cold.

They had been driving for almost an hour when the car stopped at the top of a hill. "We're here," he said. Lily paid him while James got their luggage out of the back. As soon as the trunk closed he sped off.

"Where are we?" Lily asked.

James said nothing as they reached the gate. He opened it and put the luggage down, and swept Lily up in his arms.

As if on cue, the lights outside the house flicked on and the door opened. James carried across the threshold.

"Welcome home, Lily," he said happily.

**Author's Note: Thank you to those who reviewed. I was going to put all your names up to thank you, but it only showed some of them and I didn't want anyone to be left out. Also, I was inspired by the bombings in London today to actually get off my lazy butt and write a chapter for you guys because I wanted to say that I hope you all are ok, because I don't exactly know where all of you live. I'm pretty sure someone who reads this has got to be in London though. I hope that everyone is safe and ok! Like most people have been saying now "My deepest condolences to those who died and those who were affected by the bombings". I don't think that sounds very sincere, but I'm sorry for everyone who suffered. **

**elena490: I think that's really weird too! I couldn't believe it when I read your review, and no it's not a very common name. I totally stole the name though from this guy who is really really really really hot. He goes to my school. Everyone loves him. **

**Tynwfiel: I really need to update Small World, don't I? Anyway I read your review and I was so happy to hear from you! Allergic to strawberries? I've never known anyone who was allergic to strawberries, so I hope her "reaction" was ok. I did a little research though (haha, I'm sounding like Hermione now). **

**starbursweetie: I love getting your reviews! Yes I am a dancer, although I've been out of it for about a year due to knee problems. I'm sure you have more grace than an elephant though! I hope you like the update!**


	11. Remus' Departure

_"Welcome home, Lily," James said with a smile._

"Home?" Lily asked, she was quite confused.

"Surprise!" said Sirius and Remus, who had popped out from behind the wall.

"Hi.." she said awkwardly, still not fully understanding the situation.

Remus noticed the confused look on her face and explained, "While you guys were on vacation James told us to put your old house up for sale, and look for a new one. He didn't expect for us to find one so fast though," he said.

James put Lily down and Sirius gave them a tour of the new house. It was a nice big house, but not nearly as large as James' old one. Lily liked that. A lot of the bedrooms hadn't been finished yet, but master bedroom and two of the guest bedrooms had. It looked a lot like the old bedroom.

They headed back downstairs where Remus was waiting for them. The living room was large but it had a familiar feeling, as if they had lived here forever. It had dark navy-blue walls and hardwood floor. There was a couch facing the fireplace and various comfortable looking chairs grouped around the couch in a semi-circle.

"Do you like it?" James asked as they sat down on the couch.

Lily nodded, and tears fell from her eyes. James noticed this.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, sitting on the other side of Lily, James put his arm around her and she buried her head in his chest while he rubbed her back.

"I'm just so...surprised that you would do this for me James. I always had you pegged out as someone that was so selfish. I didn't expect you to go out and buy me a new home when I said that, I just thought you'd ignore it," Lily sobbed.

"We're going to go now..." Remus said quietly as he and Sirius apparated out.

* * *

Over the next month things in the wizarding world kept getting worse. Voldemort was killing everyday, and muggles were starting to notice. It was getting especially worse in northwestern Europe. 

It was getting harder for our favorite couple as well. The Order was losing many members very rapidly, and it seemed as if everything they were trying to do was backfiring. Members of the Order were worried now because they suspected one of them was a spy. Everybody was being watched carefully, and Remus was at the top of the list because other members were prejudiced.

* * *

The Potters, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were gathered around the dining room table in Lily and James' house. Lily was bringing in various plates of hot food and James brought in a couple bottles of wine.

"What's the occasion?" Sirius asked as he shoveled food onto his plate, "You're not pregnant are you?"

"No, Sirius, I'm not. We just thought that it would be nice to get together with everyone. You never know when we'll see each other again," Lily replied as she lit the candles on the table.

"When are you guys going to have kids?" Peter asked while pouring more wine into his glass.

"Hopefully soon," James answered.

"What do you mean 'hopefully'?" Lily asked angrily. She had been a bit touchy about the subject lately.

James didn't answer and the rest of the meal went on quietly as only Remus, Sirius, and Peter were talking now. Lily spent the rest of the time glaring at James.

Lily had just started to clear the dishes when Remus spoke up, "I'd like to make an announcement."

The rest of the group fell silent.

"I don't think that I'm welcome very much anymore at the meetings and I have agreed to take up a mission that requires me to go abroad. I'll be leaving tomorrow morning. I wish that it hadn't come to this, but I can't take much more of it," he said.

A few moments later they had still said nothing, so Remus disapparated to his flat.

"I think he's up to something," Sirius said finally.

"I can't believe that he's leaving. He should know that we would never shun him," Lily said. Remus had been one of her best friends at Hogwarts.

Suddenly a black owl swooped into the dining room, and back out into the kitchen and through the window. It had left a small black envelope, and that wasn't a very good sign in these times. Someone had died.

"Who is it adressed to?" asked Peter, he looked quite nervous.

"Me," said James, picking it up. He knew who it was about, suddenly all his strength disappeared. It was like the night his mother died, the night his father and brother disappeared, and the night his step-mother had died. He couldn't bring himself to open it, so he handed it to Lily, who took it; her hands trembled as she tore it open and read it.

"I'm so sorry James," she whispered as pulled him into a hug. She could feel tears falling onto her back.

Sirius got up and stood behind James, rubbing his back. He knew that Julia had been like a mother to James. She had been like a mother to him also later in his life.

Peter stayed seated at the table, drinking the last of his wine and then he left before his guilty face could betray him.

James went to bed late that night. Lily didn't want to leave him alone, but was exhausted so she turned in early. She had checked up on him a couple of times, and he had been holding an empty bottle of fire-whiskey, and there were two sitting on the floor beneath him.

* * *

Lily woke up that morning, and ran to the bathroom. It had been the third morning in a row that she had felt like this. Maybe Sirius was right.

She sat in front of the toilet and waited to throw up, she wished that she had thought to tie her hair back this morning, but it had been so sudden.

As she threw up for the second time, something pulled her hair back.

She wiped her mouth and turned around. James was sitting on the edge of the bathtub behind her.

"Are you feeling better, James?" she asked. His eyes were red and puffy, but the rest of his face was pale.

"It's hard," he replied, "You don't look so well yourself, and I noticed that youstayed away from the wine last night.Are you sure you're not..."

"I don't even know anymore, James," Lily said, her eyes tearing up. She turned back to the toilet and threw up again. James was rubbing her back now.

"Our lives are so screwed up," James said quietly, and pulled Lily up into his lap. Lily laughed a little.

"I hope Remus stays safe, he didn't seem very thrilled about going off," Lily said.

"It's hard," James muttered.

Lily got up and brushed her teeth to get her breath under control, and then she headed back to bed. James joined her a few minutes later.

"What did you mean by 'hopefully' last night?" Lily asked.

"I don't know, I wasn't thinking. It just came out. I didn't mean that I wanted a divorce, if that's what you're thinking," he answered.

"I don't think that it's a good idea to be having kids now, we don't know how long either of us will be around. I want any children we have to be raised by us," said Lily.

"We should get up, the meeting is at our house tonight, and it's a mess," she added.

James nodded and they got up and while they pulled out their wands and started to clean up a bit. Since Lily's charms were better than James' she finished first.

"I'm taking the day off, what about you?" asked James, he still looked like crap; as if he had been up all night drinking, which he had been.

"Yeah, I think so," Lily replied.

"You should go to St. Mungo's, Lily," James said, as she rushed off towards the nearest bathroom.

Lily agreed to make an appointment that day, and she left for a while.

When Lily left, James started to prepare a dinner for the Order for later that night. There were various large pots sitting on the stove, boiling, simmering, and starting to smell very good. He flicked his wand a couple of times at the oven where there were a couple of cakes baking. He also put some chicken out to thaw.

Sirius popped (literally) about two hours later.

"Smells good, James. This must be why I joined the Order," he said while taking a spoonful of the soup that was on the stove, "Tastes even better," he added as he licked a bowl of chocolate frosting.

"Don't eat it all, Sirius. I know you're capable of it," James replied. Sirius flicked a bit of frosting at the back of James' head.

"Where's Lily?" he asked suddenly.

"Good question," James replied, "She went to the hospital earlier, she should've been back by now though."

"Nothing contagious I hope, she wasn't licking the spoons and reusing them last night, was she? I was feeling a bit sick this morning," Sirius asked, sounding quite worried now. As far as James could remember Sirius had never been sick in his life.

"Nothing contagious," James answered, laughing.

"SIRIUS!" they heard a voice calling in the living room. Sirius paled.

James put down the dish he was washing and went to go see who it was. When he got there, Alastor Moody was glaring out of an emerald fire.

"Is Sirius here?" he growled.

James was laughing even more now as Sirius tried to sneak out the kitchen window, he heard dishes fall down and break.

"Do you mind if I come in?" Moody asked. James moved so he'd have room to tumble in. He did, and soot poured out onto the floor.

"I'm going to catch him this time," Moody said to himself as he pushed open the kitchen door. James followed him in, and saw Sirius stuck in the window, half of him was in and half of him was out. Even Moody thought that it was a comical sight.

It took them a good twenty minutes to get Sirius unstuck and then Moody bound Sirius to him with some very good charm work.

James was sitting on the couch when Lily came back. She walked in and sat down next to James. She didn't say anything.

"So, what did the healer say?" James asked.

Lily buried her head in James' chest and didn't say anything. He didn't know whether to take this as a yes or a no.

"Lily?" he asked.

"I'm about two months along," she whispered. James pulled her closer towards him. He didn't know how he felt about it right now.

"I love you, James," she quietly.

**Author's Note: Well. There you go. I got back from camp almost two weeks ago...sorry this took me so long. My parents are like computer nazis, that's what my friend called them anyway. I agree with him. ANYWAY..tell me is it too soon for her? Was this an ok chapter?**


	12. Deja Vu

It was just about Christmas, and Lily had been a lot happier lately. James thought it was good for her, this way if she did want a divorce any time soon she wouldn't have to wait that long. Of course, he thought that they were doing pretty well lately.

The night he found out that Lily was pregnant had been a turning point. She had finally said that she loved him. She loved him finally. He didn't know why, but somehow he just didn't feel the way he had fantasized about feeling so many times before when he imagined the moment that Lily would confess her love for him. He didn't feel any different, he just felt complete. It seemed surreal.

He had been more protective of her lately. She had been furious with him lately because he wouldn't let her do anything strenuous. He wouldn't let her leave the house to do normal errands until she came through on a threat to curse him.

He realized then that he couldn't keep Lily all cooped up for the next nine months, but he still wanted her to be careful. The one thing she refused to stop doing was field work for the Order. James had decided then to keep a lookout for her during missions.

They hadn't told anyone yet. Lily wanted to keep it a secret. For some reason she thought that people would agree with James and not let her keep up the work in the Order. She claimed that it was all that kept her sane these days. James just wanted her and the baby to be safe.

"Wake up, Lily," James said gently. She had fallen asleep on the couch. She had been very tired lately.

She stirred a bit and mumbled something inaudible. James shook her a bit and she reluctantly opened her eyes, "What?" she mumbled.

"It's time to go to the meeting now," he answered with a smile. She was so beautiful. He had never understood how pregnant women were described as "glowing" but now he did.

She got up and he helped her with her cloak. They finally left by floo because it was safer for Lily than apparition.

They had arrived a bit early so they were able to chat with some of the other members. Lily had fun playing with the one year old Weasley twins. James could tell that she was going to make a wonderful mother.

Molly walked over to him. She looked at Lily too and smiled, "She's pregnant isn't she?" she asked.

James looked stunned. "How could you tell? She's not even showing yet!"

"James, I know what a pregnant woman looks like," Molly replied smugly.

"Lily doesn't want anyone to know yet, please don't say anything," James said finally.

Mrs. Weasley promised that she wouldn't tell anybody, and then it was time to start the meeting.

Later that night Lily, James, Sirius, and some other members that the Potters didn't know too well were recruited to go scout out places that were suspected as a hiding place for Voldemort and his followers.

The first two locations they had checked had been completely devoid of all living things.

"Third time's the charm," Sirius said to break the ice when they got to the third one.

James didn't have a good feeling about the situation. He turned to Lily and grabbed her hand so that they stood behind the rest of the group, "Be careful, Lily. I think this is it," he said.

"James, I'm always careful. Besides, I'm pregnant not disabled. I'll be fine, and so will the baby."

James gave her a quick kiss before they went and joined the rest of the group. All of a sudden out of nowhere there was a loud bang that came from behind them. They all turned and saw the Dark Mark go up.

"This is it, everyone. Get ready," said Sirius. Lily clenched her jaw and tightened the grip on her wand.

Sirius and a couple of the others ran over in the direction of the Dark Mark. James had refused for Lily and himself to be separated.

James took a few steps forward and Lily was left facing a dark forest, she heard a deep, heavy breathing. A hand slipped around her waist and one covered her mouth. Déjà vu. This was the last thing that she needed now.

"We heard you and Potter talking about a child. I thought that we could get a few followers in return for you keeping your life," a voice hissed. Lily tried to make some sort of noise for James to hear, but she had been silenced in the meantime, and she couldn't risk struggling too much against her captor.

She felt tears rolling down her eyes. 'It's not supposed to be like this' she thought.

James turned around at that very moment, as if he had sensed that something was wrong.

He held up his wand towards the Death Eater, when he realized that it wasn't just a Death Eater. It was Voldemort.

"I wouldn't try that if I were you, Potter, you might end up killing your child," he sneered.

James lowered his wand a bit. Lily was sobbing now. He had to help her somehow.

"It's not as if I care, I'm stuck in this marriage. It means nothing to me," James replied coolly.

"_It's not as if I care, I'm stuck in this marriage. It means nothing to me," James replied_.

Lily stopped struggling when she heard that. She meant nothing to him? Was this how it was going to end? She was going to die because of James? She couldn't believe him. Lily regretted ever giving him a chance.

The next thing she heard was Voldemort's cold voice in her ear.

"Did you hear that? Your lover is going to let me kill you, and the brat."

Lily tried very hard to get away from him but his cold hands were strong, she could feel her arms bruising under the pressure. She fell to her knees when he loosened his grip a bit. When she fell she looked up at James with her eyes full of hope.

He glared at her.

Then she was kicked in the back so that she fell face down in the mud.

_I hope the others realize it was a distraction. Someone has to help me._

She heard James and Voldemort talking. Then Voldemort started to walk away, leaving her on the ground. Lily ever so slowly lifted up her head just a fraction of an inch. It was freezing outside, and her heating charms had just worn off. There was a thin layer of snow covering the ground, and mud in patches. James and Voldemort were dueling about ten feet away.

She slowly pulled herself up from the ground trying not make the snow crunch beneath her feet. Suddenly Sirius and the others returned, stunned that James had the stupidity to take on Voldemort by himself while Lily was standing off on her own.

Lily motioned for Sirius to stop, but he didn't interpret it soon enough, and Voldemort saw him, he turned around and headed for Lily. Lily in turn attempted to run into the forest. She could hear James and the others yelling and running close behind.

One moment she was running, and the next she was slowly rising into the air. A blue light was enveloping her, and soon she was feeling the most excruciating pain in her life. All of a sudden it was gone, and replaced by a completely drained and empty feeling. She wanted to sleep but she couldn't. She was completely disoriented, and didn't have a clue as to what was happening. Then she passed out.

Author's Note: Ooh, a bit of a cliffy there for you. You'll probably all hate me now; not updating forever then leaving you with a small cliffhanger. I'm semi-sorry. Why don't you all tell me what you think the whole last scene was about…yes, I'm fishing for reviews.


	13. Loss

Lily felt empty. She didn't know what had happened. All she remembered was a shout, and then something blue enveloping her. As she came to she could hear the high pitched laughter of Voldemort. She didn't know what was going on. It seemed as if she didn't have any energy left to think, to move, or to do anything but listen. The last thing she saw before she passed out was a streak of silver rushing past. She didn't know whether it was real or something in her head, but strangely it comforted her.

James turned and saw Lily running from Voldemort. He knew Voldemort was going to do something horrible. He felt sick once he realized that this was all his fault. If he hadn't said anything at all to Lily about the baby, Voldemort wouldn't have known anything, and they probably wouldn't be in this mess right now.

He had to do something to protect her. Voldemort raised his wand and was about to curse her when James jumped at him. They both went tumbling into the mud. Lily turned and looked back. Death Eaters were pulling James off of the Dark Lord now, he was being held back. All of a sudden Voldemort shouted something. James recognized it as a Dark Curse. Without saying anything, James tried to send a shield to Lily. He hoped that it would be strong enough. The Death Eater gripping his arm let go as Sirius and the others came back.

Suddenly, Lily was in a blue bubble. The sphere was rising now and she was thirty feet above the ground.

James wanted to tell Voldemort to stop, but he knew that if he said anything, Voldemort would drop her, and there was no way she could survive a fall that large. He swallowed and tried his best not to make noise.

"Are you sure the mudblood doesn't mean a thing to you, Potter?" he asked, twirling his wand in the air. Every time it moved, Lily was thrown violently into a different direction.

James didn't say anything. Sirius was glaring at him. How did he not realize that James was trying his hardest to protect Lily? In his mind a single incantation was running through his head, over and over again. It was a particularly strong shield spell.

There was a series of loud cracks and Voldemort quickly disapparated away. In his place were several members of the Order.

"How did you know that we needed help?" Sirius asked.

"Someone sent a Patronus," Moody said calmly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Sirius turned red. They had all been briefed on the new form of communication last week, and Sirius had skipped the meeting.

James ran to the spot where Lily had been levitating just moments earlier, but she was no longer in the air. She was laying in a crumpled heap on the ground. He sat down beside her and carefully lifted her into his arms.

"Ennervate," he muttered. James hoped that that would be all he needed to wake her up. He wasn't so lucky.

Sirius came up behind him, "What's the matter?"

"She needs to go to St. Mungo's now," James replied, pulling himself up from the ground. Lily rested peacefully in his arms.

Sirius nodded and they disapparated to the wizard hospital. When they arrived a short and ancient looking nurse barked directions at them and they spent the next half hour filling out papers while Lily was Merlin knows where being treated.

James spent the next two hours in a waiting room, with his head in his hands. He was so exhausted, yet he couldn't sleep until he knew how Lily and the baby were.

He felt a hand on his back, "She'll be all right, James," Sirius said quietly. He hated to see his best friend so worried.

Lily woke up to a sterile smell. She opened her eyes and was greeted by the bright white hospital walls, the television was on in the next curtain and she could hear a muggle soap opera playing.

Immediately she remembered what had happened. Lily then tried to pull herself up into a sitting position, but a nurse came in and gently told her to lie back down. All Lily wanted was for someone familiar to be there. She had always hated being in the hospital, and she especially hated being alone.

She wanted to know where the hell James was. As her husband shouldn't he be there with her, in sickness and in health, right? Well this was definitely considered sickness.

There was a knock on the door a few minutes later, and an older woman walked in. She was in a healer's uniform, and she wore a sad attempt for a smile on her face. When she spoke she used a gentle voice. Lily was scared.

"Hello, Mrs. Potter," the healer started out, "I'm the healer in charge of the emergency room. I guess you are probably wondering what happened."

Lily nodded her head.

"You were brought in last night completely passed out. I was told that you were caught in the middle of an attack. At first I couldn't figure out what curse had been used on you, but then I realized that it had not only been a curse, but a shield had been cast on you as well, which is why survived," the healer continued.

Lily felt a great wave of relief, the a sudden wave of panic rushed over her, "What about the baby?" she asked feebly.

The healer's expression saddened and her voice got softer.

"The shield was strong enough to protect you, but it wasn't enough for the baby, I'm so sorry," she answered quietly.

Lily didn't know what to say. She felt tears forming in her eyes, and then they started to run down her face.

"The baby—it wouldn't have felt anything, would it?" she asked through tears.

"No, it wouldn't have felt anything at all, it was too early on in the pregnancy," the healer replied softly, "Is there anything we can get you?"

Lily shook her head. All she wanted was to be alone for a while. A few moments later she heard the door close again. She turned over in bed and faced the window.

How could this have happened to her? She had never done anything in particular to get the Dark Lord after her. The only thing she could think of was her not being a pureblood, but he wouldn't kill her just for that, would he? Killing the child of someone that you want to join you isn't exactly the greatest gift for membership.

There was a hesitant knock on the door, and she heard James ask to come in. She couldn't even find it in her o say anything. She didn't bother to turn towards him when he came and sat down either.

"How are you feeling? They wouldn't tell me anything, and they wouldn't even let me in. Sirius had to create a diversion," James laughed. Lily started to sob.

"Are you going to be ok?" he asked, starting to rub her back.

More sobs.

James understood completely then. He could feel himself breaking down also. He pulled Lily into his arms and they laid together for a long time, without interruptions; mourning for their lost child.

Author's Note: Dun dun dun...no cliffy. Obviouslly that was not Harry. Alrighty, well I'm off to see HP4 now. I'm so pumped. Anyways...tell me what you thought!


	14. Chaotic Christmas

Lily woke up the next day expecting to still be at the hospital, but she looked around and realized that she was in her own bed at home. She rolled over. James wasn't there.

Then all of the memories of the last few days came rushing back. She had lost the baby. In the few months that she had known, she had started to get really attached to the idea of having James' child. Now it was all over. Voldemort had killed it.

The door opened and James walked in carrying a tray with breakfast on it. He looked just as sad as Lily felt.

"Merry Christmas," James said, not quite sounding as happy as he should for it being Christmas.

"It's Christmas already?" Lily asked, "How long have I been sleeping?"

"It's Christmas Eve actually, the doctors gave you a sleeping potion, they thought it might be easier for you that way, you've been sleeping for a couple of days."

"Have you told anyone?" Lily asked.

"The Order knows. We sent a letter to Remus when we found out you…were pregnant, but he never responded. So we don't think he got the message, and we haven't bothered to send another letter," he replied.

Lily started to eat, and they sat in silence for a while.

"Lily it's my fault." James said quietly.

Lily gave him a funny look and he continued.

"If I hadn't been bothering you, Voldemort wouldn't have heard it."

"That's not your fault. I shouldn't have come along," Lily assured him, "It's my fault, I should have been more careful."

"Yes, but I tried sending a shield, and it wasn't strong enough," James replied hoarsely.

"You think that anyone's shield would have been strong enough to stop him?" Lily laughed, she didn't feel like she should be laughing, but it just came out.

James looked hurt, "I was just trying to protect you," he whispered.

"I'm sorry, can we just not talk about it, forget it?" Lily asked.

James nodded, and they finished breakfast.

Lily went downstairs and started to cook Christmas dinner, Sirius was coming over. James began to decorate the house.

The doorbell rang at about five that evening. Lily answered it. It was Sirius.

"I'm so sorry, Lily," he said after she greeted him.

"Thank you, but we've decided we're not going to talk about it anymore," she mumbled, looking down. It was painful to hear.

"Things can't get better if you don't talk about it, Lils, just remember that," Sirius replied, giving her a hug.

"Shut the door before you let all the cold air in!" James shouted from the living room.

Sirius laughed. "He sounds like his mother," he whispered. Lily wiped a tear from her eye and laughed also.

Dinner passed uneventfully, and afterwards they went for a ride around the village looking at Christmas lights.

"It seems like the whole village is decorated except for our house, James," Lily noticed.

James agreed and they stopped in the local pub for a cup of eggnog.

The three were seated at a table in the back corner and soon an older woman came to take their order.

"You guys don't look very familiar, where are you from?" she asked.

"We just moved into the house on top of the hill," Lily replied.

"It's too bad you guys didn't decorate at all, the people that lived there before always went all out. Everyone was disappointed. I would have thought that people your age would enjoy decorating a home for the holidays, I suppose though, after buying a house that expensive there wouldn't be much left over to decorate with, what do you guys do for a living anyway?" the waitress asked.

"Maybe they just haven't been up to decorating, and it's too bad you're nosey, they could've been your biggest customers. I think it's safe to assume my friends won't be coming back," Sirius growled.

The three of them got up and left.

"Sirius I think you were overreacting a bit in there. You shouldn't have done that. They were treating us differently enough as it was," Lily said as they drove up the hill.

"It's not really a loss; there is something funny about that place, and those people. I don't ever want you down there without me, alright? They're dangerous," James ordered.

"You can't tell me where I can and can't go, James," Lily yelled.

"You are required by law to do what I say, Lily," James shot back. Sirius stayed quiet.

"I thought that you loved me enough to let that go, you said that you accepted because you were trying to save me from that," she sobbed.

They pulled into the driveway, Sirius bid them goodnight and disapparated, James went into the house and slammed the door. Lily stayed outside on the porch in the cold, with the streams of tears running down her face turning to ice.

She found herself falling asleep outside on the porch steps. She woke up in James' arms. He was carrying her up to bed.

"I was so worried about you. You're blue!" he said quietly.

"I'm sorry about last night, it's just that I want you to be safe, I don't want to cause you any more harm," James continued. He carried her up to their bed, and lay down next to her. They didn't sleep, they just lay there for awhile.

They got up when light started to pour through the windows.

"I got something for you," James said happily.

"Oh, James, I'm sorry. With everything that happened, I forgot," Lily replied, blushing, "I feel so bad."

"Don't worry about, you can make up for it later, my birthday is New Year's," James said with a grin.

"I can't believe I didn't know that. See how little we know about each other?"

James came back with large package, "Open it!" he said excitedly.

She did, and inside was…a bunch of baby stuff: clothes, bottles, toys.

Lily started to cry. How could he do this to her? She ran out of the room and down into the bathroom, locking herself in.

James still sat on the bed. He flipped the box over so he could see what was inside, and it was not what he had gotten for Lily.

He could hear her sobbing. He knocked gently on the door.

"Lily, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant to give you. I don't know what happened," James said quietly.

"That's a lie, James!" she screamed through the door, "You've always been an insensitive ass. You've always liked making me feel miserable!"

"Honestly Lily, open the door. I had gotten you something really special," he yelled.

"It was your fault it died. You didn't want it, you wanted it dead!" she screeched.

Hearing that broke his heart. James slid down so he was sitting with his back against the door. He didn't want to hurt her anymore. He now knew what it was going to take to make her happy again, and he was really hoping it wouldn't have to come to this.

"Lily…"


	15. The Return of Remus

Lily sat on the other side of the door still sobbing. James could really be a jerk, but what if it was a mistake, it was always possible, right?

Eventually, when she could cry no more, she opened the door. James had left hours ago, she didn't know if he was even still in the house. She quietly tiptoed back to their room and crawled into their bed. She found that she was lying on top of something, a letter. It had her name scrawled on it.

_It must be the card from James' stupid gift. _

With that thought she tossed it under the bed, where it was surely never to be seen again. After that she went back to sleep.

James was downstairs in the kitchen. It broke his heart to see the woman that he loved in so much pain, and it hurt more to know the he had caused it. He had made up his mind now. James knew that Lily could never be happy as long as she was with him.

He knew that if he didn't do it now, he would lose the nerve to tell her. So, he stormed up the stairs and threw open the door. Lily was curled up in their bed, and she looked so peaceful, but the moment she heard him come in she flew up.

"What do you want?" she asked, her eyes narrowed.

James took a deep breath, "I wanted to let you know that I'm going to be seeing other people," he replied in a cold voice, "You're free to do the same." Then he left.

Lily couldn't take any more of this. She had lost a child, and now James didn't want to be with her anymore. Was she that unlovable? Why couldn't things have been easier for her? She was a prisoner in this house, and yet she was free to do as she pleased.

What was going to happen to her? Was she stuck with him forever? There was no way that the two of them could get a divorce, unless there was a child, and Lily couldn't bear to think of being with James again.

Remus was sitting in a cave. He was waiting for his owl to come back. He read the letter that had been sent to him, by now the words were almost unreadable because they had been smudged by tears. Remus's tears.

It seemed as if his friends were getting along just fine without him, almost better. He had gotten a simple letter telling him that Lily and James were going to have a baby.

Was the mission really worth all that? He was at the age where you were not supposed to have many cares, especially not ones that concern anything like how to keep himself alive on a day to day basis. Was is it really worth missing out on so much? His best friend was going to become a father, and he wasn't going to be there to see the first child of any of the Marauders.

Of course, life wouldn't be so easy back home either. He knew that he'd probably worse off in the civilized world than he was out here, trying to recruit magical animals to join forces with Dumbledore. Many were reluctant though, and most fought with him. He had almost lost a leg the other night when a giant had stumbled upon his small cave and tried to eat him for a midnight snack. Remus had barely managed to live to tell that tale.

He did stop in the nearest village however, and sent off a gift for the Potter's, at least he could try to make up for his long absence with gifts. Remus had gotten quite good at transfiguring normal objects into money, and the villagers couldn't tell the difference, so he was able to afford some things for once. It was nice to have some money.

James was sitting alone drinking a Firewhiskey when he heard Lily come down the stairs. She came and sat down across the table from him. Her hair was all over the place and her eyes were red and puffy from crying. Her face was red where she had been laying on it.

For a long time neither of them said anything.

Finally Lily broke the silence. "Do you love me?"

James felt his stomach drop when he heard her. She sounded so innocent, but he knew how he would have to answer if this was going to work.

"No."

Right then the doorbell rang. James sprang up to get it. Lily could hear some laughter and the front door slam shut. James had just left with another woman.

So this was it. Lily wasn't going to be the helpless victim anymore, she was going to get revenge. Just when she had felt that she and James could actually make it work, he had screwed everything up.

Lily didn't know what she could do to him, but she would do something. James had just stumbled through the door when she had decided to try and find a way out of their marriage without them having to have a child first. She was in the kitchen pouring over all sorts of reading that clearly outlined the betrothal act. James had walked in with the girl and didn't even acknowledge her. The two headed upstairs.

She had given up when she couldn't read the words anymore because the tears had made them too blurry.

The next morning Lily got up early and started to make herself breakfast. She had slept on the couch the night before.

James came downstairs in a pair of pajama bottoms. There girl from the night before was probably still sleeping.

He looked exhausted.

"Didn't you get enough sleep last night?" Lily asked coldly. She knew that he had barely slept at all because she had heard them all through the night until about four in the morning.

James didn't even look up at her.

This continued on for several months. James would bring several women home night after night, while during the day he would tell her to do various things around the house. She knew that it wasn't right, but she had to obey him because of the stupid law, but she really didn't mind cleaning. She learned a lot about James by going through all the boxes they had never had a chance to unpack.

Lily had had to move out of their bedroom, and she now occupied a small room in the basement. She felt like she was a slave, but at least she didn't have to deal with James and his women. He was just being completely selfish. The only one that she could stand seeing was Sirius, and he didn't come around too often anymore. Or maybe he did, and she just wasn't aware of it. She had been so out of touch with the outside world lately. James wasn't forcing her to stay in the house, he wasn't that cruel. He just told her to do some of the cleaning, but she couldn't bear to face anyone in public. She had gone out a couple of days after this all started, and people had just been rude. It was apparently her fault that James was being seen with other women.

One day though while James was gone she had decided to clean out their bedroom. She found that some of her things were gone, no doubt taken by one of his lowlife girlfriends. As Lily cleared things out from under the bed she found a letter with her name on it among the various pieces of underclothes. The letter was taped to a box.

James came in at that moment. He looked exhausted and had already fallen over onto the bed before he noticed her, "What are you doing in here?" he asked.

"I was just cleaning," she replied quickly, shoving the letter into her pocket, and the box into the garbage bag she was putting things into.

"Remus is coming back tonight, if you wanted to know," James mumbled as she was halfway out the door.

"Is you girlfriend going to be here? I need to know how many I'm cooking for," Lily asked.

"Don't bother. I'll take care of it tonight," he replied.

Lily nodded and headed downstairs to her room.

She shut the door quickly and opened the letter. It was hard to read the handwriting but she looked at the signature, it was James'. She didn't bother to read the rest of the letter though. Then she tore open the box. Inside was another box, and another, just like there had been on Christmas Day.

Finally in the last box there was a beautiful necklace. The pendant was shaped like a small lily, and in the middle was an emerald. The pendant and chain were made of gold. Lily never got sick of seeing the flower she was named after. It was such a beautiful flower too.

She cleaned up for dinner when she started smelling the food. Soon enough the doorbell rang and she ran upstairs to answer it because Sirius and James were still busy in the kitchen.

The door opened and across the threshold was Lupin. He looked older than ever, his hair was almost completely grey, and he looked exhausted, but his eyes lit up when he saw her.

"Come in!" she said grinning.

Sirius and James rushed in just then.

"Moony!" the both shouted together.

"Don't you think we're getting a little old for that?" Remus asked. The other two shook their heads.

Lily decided that she would let them have their time together, and she went to go set the table. Soon enough they came through the door and into the dining room.

They had moved all but four chairs out of the dining room that night. In order to leave room for the food (there was plenty of it) there were two chairs on each side. Lily was unfortunate enough to get stuck next to James.

The first part of dinner went along just fine. The men were talking about Voldemort and Remus' mission, but he soon got tired of the subject so they started catching up on things that had been going on with James and Sirius, as they were Aurors.

Remus had apparently noticed that Lily hadn't said much throughout dinner.

"What happened to the energetic Lily I used to know? Has taking care of the baby got you that tired out? By the way, did you ever get my package?" He asked cheerfully.

Lily just about choked on the food that she had been attempting to swallow at the moment. Out of the corner of her eye she could see James glance at her. He looked a bit concerned. When she looked up she Sirius give her a weak smile.

"There is no baby, I…" she broke off and found that she still couldn't bring herself to say it. There were more tears stinging her eyes now. Then she felt James' reaching for her hand and he held it gently. That was enough to make her start sobbing.

"Lily was attacked by Voldemort, he murdered our child before it was even born," James finished for her. He squeezed her hand one more time, and then let go.

Lily left the room in tears, like she had so many times recently.


	16. Apology

**Author's Note: Hey Everyone! Well here's chapter...16. Alright everyone I have a challenge for you. Try to be the 200th reviewer! That's so cool. As we speak I'm at 190, so if you time it right, you should get it! I just wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed so far. And I would like to apologize for the length (or lack thereof) of the chapter. I just wanted to get something out. Since this is my most popular story at the moment I'd like to take another moment to give everyone updates on what's going on with everything else because I don't want to update my bio page:**

**All other stories are on a temporary hiatus (excluding Arranged). **

**I am going to finish this one first. I may sporadically update those while they're on "hiatus", but I just wanted to let everyone know not to EXPECT anything. Here is the order I'm going to work on them:**

**Arranged**

**Small World**

**Pas de Deux**

**Broken Man**

**and others I haven't yet posted. I may bring back one of the other ones I used to have that I wrote a couple of years ago, after some serious editing. **

**Alright so, as a reminder, please, please review for this chapter. It is so important to me that we hit the 200 mark. It will be so special. Especially if some of the reviewers who have stuck with it since the beginning were to review again. Not that this is the last chapter or anything though. Just an important mark. **

**Now, on with the story.

* * *

**

"I'm so sorry, James, I had no clue," Remus apologized.

James just shrugged, "There was no way for you to know, I wouldn't worry about it. She should get over it by now, it's been months," he replied, as if he didn't care.

Sirius growled.

"What's the matter with you?" James asked.

Sirius threw down the fork he had been holding and followed after Lily. Remus stayed at the table, looking very uncomfortable. "I think it'd be best if I left, I don't want to disturb you guys any further," he said feebly.

"You're not bothering us, in fact, there is no us." James swirled food around his plate with his spoon.

* * *

Lily was in her small basement room sobbing when Sirius found her. She was sprawled on the bed. Her cries sounded almost unhuman. He went to sit down next to her, and started to rub her back.

"It's ok, Lily," he whispered.

Lily sat up next to him. "It is not ok. What does it matter to you anyway?" she asked viciously.

"James does love you," he said, "but I can't stand the way he's treating you. He's just being stupid is all."

"What do you mean by that?"

Sirius took a deep breath, wondering how to explain it.

"James doesn't understand anything Lily. He's just a guy. He's gone on about how he thinks that it's better for you two to avoid everything that happened, and how you could never be happy with him again. He doesn't understand relationships."

"Sirius, I lost a child; my child. James' child. Can you even imagine how that feels? Then to have him not want anything to do with me? I feel empty…ripped apart. It's terrible."

Sirius wrapped his arms around her as she continued sobbing. Just then the door flew open and the lights flipped on.

"What the hell are you doing?" James asked.

Of course you can imagine that Sirius and Lily's position at the time didn't look to great.

Sirius glared at James.

"Can't you see that she's in pain?" he retorted.

"Get away from my wife,"

Sirius did as he was told, but he stopped next to James on the way out.

"With the way you treat her, she may as well be a house-elf. You don't deserve to have a wife James. Get over yourself and grow up. She needs someone that cares. You need to live up to your responsibilities, James. We're not just kids at Hogwarts anymore," he whispered fiercely, so that Lily wasn't able to hear, and then he went upstairs to Remus.

James stood speechless in the same spot that Sirius had left him. He observed Lily. She was laying on the bed, with her back turned to him.

"How can you stand it down here? It's freezing," he said absentmindedly.

"I didn't have much of a choice, did I?" Lily replied.

"Well feel free to come back upstairs to the meeting when you're done with having your little pity party," he said, and headed back upstairs.

* * *

Lily hadn't left her bed since the night Remus had come. She hadn't eaten for a couple of days. All she did was sleep.

Sirius wasn't talking to James, and Remus tried to spend equal time with both of them, since he didn't know when Dumbledore was going to make him leave again. Sirius refused to have anything to do with James until Lily was treated better.

"Has Lily been upstairs at all?" Remus asked when he got there. He had been checking on Lily frequently, but she wouldn't respond to him at all.

It was four days since the disastrous dinner.

"No," James replied nonchalantly. He was reading the paper.

"She hasn't eaten for days, James. Would you check on her?" Remus asked.

James shook his head. "I don't want anything to do with her."

At that moment Remus snapped. He pushed James off of the high stool he was sitting on at the kitchen counter with such force that the stool tipped over and broke. He then pushed James up against the wall with so much force that he thought that James was going to get seriously hurt. _He deserves it though._

Remus could see the fear in James' eyes. _Good, he should be scared._

"You're going to go check on Lily. She needs you James. You've treated her like shit, but she needs you," he growled.

He then let go of James, who fell to the floor. When he didn't get up, Remus pulled him up.

There were tears in his eyes, threatening to spill out.

"I can't do it Remus. I can't face her, not after what I've done," he whispered hoarsely.

"You have to."

After more pressure and fighting between the friends, James finally decided to face her.

She heard the door open a crack. She didn't have the energy to turn and see who it was. Although, it was probably Remus again. He was such a sweet man. It wasn't fair that he had to be a werewolf.

"Lily?"

It was James. She didn't answer him though. Maybe if she pretended that she was still asleep he would go away. Surely he wouldn't waste his time waiting for her.

But he did. He was lying down next to her now. She felt one of his arms wrap around her. She wanted to shrug away, but she couldn't move. Was he crying?

"James…" she whispered. It was not a whisper that indicated that she wanted to start a conversation. It was not a whisper of longing. It was just there.

"I'm so sorry," he said finally, his other arm reached under her, she was now fully embraced in his arms. He felt so strong. "You're burning up, Lily. I'm worried."

"You don't know how hard it is, James," she replied. "Our baby…gone. She never had a chance."

"It was a girl?" James asked.

"I found out the day before I lost her. I never had time to tell you…and then all of this happened, I figured that you wouldn't care."

"I would've had a daughter," he whispered. They were both crying now.

There was silence for a while.

"Lily? Do you think we'll ever be normal?" James asked.

Lily fell unconscious then.


	17. The Return of Lily

James spent the next couple of days by Lily's side, mopping her forehead with a wet rag and spoon-feeding her. She was suffering from a high fever, probably from dehydration.

She had woken up a few times, but when she was awake she was delirious. After the first day James had decided to move her back up to their bedroom, instead of having her suffer downstairs where it was damp and cold. It definitely wasn't helping her condition improve at all.

Her fever had broken after the third day, and she awoke groggily to James by her side. He was sleeping in a chair next to the bed; she could see that he hadn't gotten much sleep, due to the huge black circles under his eyes. She could also tell that it was the middle of the night, because it was pitch black out.

_Serves him right._

Not only were there bags under his eyes, he hadn't shaved for a few days, and was beginning to look a bit scruffy. His hair was even more of a mess than usual, his glasses were askew, and she noticed that there was drool coming from the corner of his mouth.

Suddenly an alarm went off and James sprang up into the air in surprise, and landed in a heap on the floor. When he finally got back up he looked at Lily and grinned.

"How has sleeping beauty been?" he asked.

Lily glared at him.

"You've been sleeping for nearly three days. We were so worried about you because you'd wake up and start hallucinating. You were screaming about me dying...and then you'd be pleading. It was terrifying. Here, drink this," he said gently while handing her a small glass of cool water.

Lily drank it and then laid back down, closing her eyes.

James absently brushed hair off of her face.

"Don't," she whispered.

James's hand immediately flew back into his lap.

"I'm so sorry, Lily; I'm so sorry for everything. I don't know what to do, I don't know how I can make it up to you, but I'll do anything. I've been a worse husband than Malfoy or anyone could've been!"

Lily took a deep breath, "I don't want your apologies. I don't want anything, and I especially don't want them from you, Potter." she snapped as she struggled to get untangled from all of the blankets so that she could get up. He tried to help her, but she slapped his arm away.

"You didn't care about me when I really _needed_ you, why should you care now?" she seethed.

James's face fell and he opened his mouth to say something, but Lily cut him off.

"I don't want to hear it James, go tell it to someone who will listen!" she yelled.

James didn't think he had ever seen Lily so furious. Her normally vibrant green eyes looked almost dead, but at the same time they were filled with hate.

He felt tears brimming in his eyes. He hated himself right now. How horrible could he have been to evoke this kind of hate from Lily? He found himself once again realizing that he would never make her happy, and because of that he had to leave.

James turned around and left the room.

Lily let out a sigh of relief as she saw him retreat. It had taken time, but she had finally found the strength to fight for herself again. She was back, after all that had happened, from marrying James, to the attack, to losing her child, the Lily that had been vibrant and energetic was back; the one that she graduated as from Hogwarts. The Lily that had had so much potential was back.

The first thing that the old Lily was going to do was take a nice, long bath.

* * *

James had gone down to the den, he had to write a few letters.

_Professor Dumbledore, _

_I realize that the position you had offered me will require great sacrifices, but I believe that I am now ready to make those. The opportunity has finally come up. I am headed to Hogwarts right now to discuss this with you. Please do not send an owl to my home._

_JP_

He rolled that parchment up and sealed it. He then attached it to his owl's leg, but told her not to leave yet, as he had more.

_Padfoot, _

_Remember what I had told you Dumbledore had approached me about? The mission for the Order? I have accepted. Please do not tell Lily. I doubt that she would be worried, but still, I would prefer for her not to know. I realized that now more than ever we were never meant to be, she was right all those years, Padfoot. Don't try to talk me out of this. It's something that I have to do, for myself, for Dumbledore, and for the Order. They need this. I'm scared Padfoot. I'm sorry that I couldn't have told you in person, but I'm afraid that for now this is goodbye. Please tell Remus that none of this was his fault. Also, try to keep this from Peter, I don't think he could handle it. That and I don't think that he could keep it from Lily._

_I know I can trust you, my brother. _

_Prongs_

He rolled that letter up too and lovingly attached it to the owl's foot. He stroked the owl's head a few times.

"Find me at Hogwarts, Mars," he whispered to the pitch-black creature before he flew off.

After James couldn't see the owl anymore, he slipped back into his bedroom to pack some of his things, although he knew in the end none of it really mattered.

He conjured a suitcase and haphazardly threw his best robes into it. Then he found his mirror from the pair that he shared with Sirius and carefully wrapped it up. After that he found a picture that a muggle had taken of Lily and him after they had jumped ship while they were in the Caribbean, it had captured the exact moment of their first kiss. To James, it was better than any wizarding picture even if it didn't move, because it showed Lily and James when they had been in love. Carefully, he wrapped that up and stuck it in the very bottom of the suitcase. He threw some money into the suitcase as well and then shrunk it so it would fit in his pocket.

As he was leaving the room he heard a door open behind him. It was Lily coming in from the bathroom. The light from it poured into the dark bedroom as steam rose out into the darkness.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lily asked.

James sighed and turned around. She had a fluffy white towel wrapped around her slim frame, and her hair was pulled into a loose bun on the top of her head.

Before he thought of anything, James crossed the room so that he was standing right in front of her. She was shivering. He brought one of his hands up to her cheek and brushed it lightly. A tear fell from one of his eyes.

"I love you," he whispered, so that Lily just barely heard it.

Then he kissed her lightly, tenderly on the lips. It was a kiss so light that James was sure that if he hadn't been paying the close attention he was (for he was trying to remember absolutely everything about this moment, surely what was to be his last with Lily) that he would've missed it completely.

Lily was shocked as he pulled away, and felt all of her anger towards him melt away. She looked into his eyes. They were full of regret, and...fear?

"Go away, James," Lily said. She couldn't take this. She had to sort things out first, she couldn't let him off this easy.

"I am," he replied, and left the room.

* * *

Sirius woke up to a noise at his window. He rubbed his eyes and realized that it was an owl. Who the hell was sending him a letter this late at night? They were going to have to pay.

He opened the window and let in James's black owl. Along with it came a freezing gust of wind.

"Hello, Mars, did James ruin your night too?" he asked as the owl impatiently hooted.

Sirius took his letter and Mars flew out the door, probably to find the fireplace.

Sirius had been angry with James when his owl woke him up, but now he was furious. Immediately he went downstairs to find Remus who was sleeping on the couch.

"Levicorpus!" he said quickly. He was not in the mood to wait for the half hour it took to wake Remus up politely.

"What do you want, Padfoot?" Remus asked groggily as he was suspended upside down in the air.

"Go get dressed, we have to go see Dumbledore," Sirius barked, as he let Remus land on the couch gently.

"What happened, Sirius?" Remus asked, "You look as if someone died, you're as pale as a ghost."

"Oh really? Because I'm as furious as hell; James has gone and screwed things up again."

James had just entered his old Headmaster's office.

"Hello, James, I've been expecting you. Your owl woke me up. Please, take a seat," Albus Dumbledore said calmly.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but I think this is a matter that warrants a 3 a.m. wake up call," James replied seriously as he sat down in one of the stiff wooden chairs opposite of Dumbledore.

He looked around the office, it was too cheery for what he was going through. The walls were full of portraits of old Headmasters and Headmistresses. Normally at this time of night they would be sleeping but now they were all awake and chattering wildly. Dumbledore must have let on what was going to happen.

He picked up a small silver spindly tool off of Dumbledore's desk and fiddled with it while Dumbledore watched. He was still in his pajamas and was wearing a stocking cap.

"James," he said patiently.

James put the object down and sighed.

"Yes, it is definitely a grave matter, James. Are you sure that you're ready? I can find someone else." Dumbledore replied.

"I'm positive. There's nothing to lose." James replied, although his knuckles were turning white from how hard he was squeezing the armrests.

"Mr. Potter, I know that you think that you can do this, and I'm not saying you can't, but this isn't a decision to jump into. There is a great chance that you're not coming back, and I'm afraid that you'll regret not being able to come back to us, to Sirius, Remus, and Peter, and especially your _wife_, Lily. There are other things that will benefit the Order just as greatly."

"Profess-"

"Call me Albus."

"Albus, please, I'm ready for this. I'm the one for the job. I have the best chance of coming back. Please, just send me, I've said my goodbyes and everything. I'm ready to go now."

The old man nodded and summoned a box from a cabinet.

The box was plain and extremely old looking. The hinges were falling off of the lid, and yet you could tell that there was no way that you could just break into the box.

There were no words for the next few minutes. Dumbledore held his wand to the temple of his head and pulled out a string, a memory just like he would for the pensieve. Only, instead of putting the memory into the magical basin, he put it into the keyhole on the box, and it sprang open.

James looked at Dumbledore, his eyes had lost the twinkle that they were famous for. James gulped.

"Having second thoughts?" Dumbledore asked.

"No," James managed to answer.

The professor sighed and pulled out what looked like a pen. It was larger though, and made of wood. Also, there were carvings going up the length of the pen.

Albus handed the pen over to James, who drew a large circle with it. At first, nothing happened, but then there was a great rumbling noise that came up from the very core of the earth it seemed, and then a great blazing white hole appeared in mid-air in the Headmaster's office.

"Good luck James," Dumbledore shouted to him over the rumbling, which was getting louder with every passing second. James thought that if he didn't go now his ears were going to bleed and he was going to be permanently deaf. Then the rumbling gave way to high piercing unearthly shrieking.

James nodded and with a look of determination he stepped into the hole. When the last part of James entered the hole, it disappeared, as did the screams, and there was a great jolt, it felt as if the whole castle had been thrown up hundreds of feet into the air, and landed again, but of course that hadn't happened, it was just an effect of the ancient magic.

When Dumbledore got up off of the floor (he had fallen after the jolt) the fire blazed emerald, and Sirius and Remus walked in.

"What happened?" Remus asked, he was looking at some of the parchment that had been on the Headmaster's desk was floating back to the ground. All of Dumbledore's things had been overturned.

The Headmaster didn't say anything though. With a wave of his wand, everything had been placed upright again.

"You just missed him, Sirius," the old wizard said gently.

"No..." Sirius whispered. He grabbed the back of the chair for support. If he didn't, he knew that he was going to fall right then and there.

Remus still didn't understand what was going on but kept quiet. He knew that it was something terrible. What could've happened that had ruined the Headmaster's office and made Sirius so weak?

He was about to ask when he heard rain start to pour outside, and then a loud crash of thunder.

* * *

Lily woke up suddenly. She felt cold and her sheets were drenched with sweat. She felt empty for some reason, it was like a part of her had gone missing. She had had a strange dream but couldn't remember anything about it except that there were these terrible loud noises...and now she had this overwhelming sadness.

She turned over expecting to find James, who she assumed would have come tiptoeing into the room after he was sure she was asleep, but he wasn't there.

It was still dark out, but there were streaks of light just starting to appear in the sky. Then all of a sudden rain came pouring out of nowhere, there hadn't even been any clouds. Thunder was crashing every few seconds, and lightning was flashing almost nonstop.

She rushed over to the window and looked down into the village. Lights were going on all over the place in all of the little houses, and she could see the cemetery.

An extremely bright bolt of lightning came down and seemed to strike the cemetery, then there was such a loud crash of thunder that the house was shaking. Lily fell and when she pulled herself back up and looked out of the window what she saw terrified her.

The ground was coming up in the cemetery, and out of the ground bodies were coming up. Some were just skeletons, others were just starting to deteriorate, and others were in stages in between. It seemed like they were all meeting.

She heard a great resounding pop and Death Eaters were in the cemetery. In the middle of it all was Lord Voldemort.

Then there was a knock at the bedroom door.


	18. Whereabouts

**Ok. I'm not even going to try with excuses.**

**I'm going to try to keep on a less sporadic updating schedule now. I really want to finish all of my writing before the last book comes out...yes, it might be a while, but it's going to take me quite a long time too. **

**I've got to say...I do have a busy schedule now.**

Lily screamed as the door opened. She knew that it would give away her hiding spot, but she didn't care. She was terrified.

She held her wand up and hexed the person who walked in, but he shielded himself. It turned out to just be Sirius.

"What are you doing down there? Why did you hex me?" he questioned as he walked over, helping her up.

Lily whimpered and pointed out the window. Sirius directed his gaze behind her and paled. He saw the bodies also, and Death Eaters were just starting to come up the hill. The villagers were being attacked, and a couple of places were even in flames.

"We have to get out of here," he said quietly.

"What about James? We can't leave him here!" Lily said as Sirius tried to grab her hand.

"James isn't here," Sirius replied quickly. He made sure Lily had her wand and then quickly apparated the two of them back to his apartment with Remus.

* * *

James fell to the ground in a heap. It was dark and lonely. He felt so alone, but he knew he had to do this. 

_First things first, I must find a place to sleep._

He got up and surveyed his surroundings. There wasn't much there, he was standing in what looked like a desert, but about a hundred feet away there was a thick, dark forest. The area he was in now was bathed in a dim red light, but he looked over and saw that near the trees it got a lot darker.

_Shall I camp in the creepy ominous forest, or shall I stay vulnerable out in the open? _

He headed for the forest in his stag form, at least he wouldn't look so suspicious in there. He entered the trees and it was almost pitch black. he decided to just fall asleep then and there for now, he was exhausted.

* * *

Lily woke up in Sirius's bed. She found that he was camped out on the couch. _How sweet of him. _

Immediately, she walked into the kitchen and started to make breakfast. When she was nervous or worried, she always had to keep herself busy.

Soon enough, bacon was sizzling on the stove, and Sirius came wandering into the kitchen.

"Sirius, what was that last night?" Lily asked as he sat down at the table with a cup of coffee. She slid a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him.

"Those were Inferi. Voldemort must be planning something huge if he went through the trouble of trying to get Inferi." he replied, his mouth full.

"I never thought I would live to see the day where a wizard could bring up Inferi," Lily said, in awe. She had studied them once in Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Of course, they hadn't gone in-depth with that, they just briefly mentioned it. Lily thought it was quite terrifying though. The thought of the dead's bodies being able to rise up and attack at someone's comand. It took an extremely powerful wizard to do that. "Are you sure that's what it is?" she asked.

Sirius nodded, "I think we should tell Dumbledore what we saw as soon as possible. He'll want to know. It's too dangerous to put in a letter though, we'll have to go over there."

Lily nodded. "Do you know where James went? I know I kicked him out, but I couldn't live with myself if he didn't know what was going on. He could get hurt trying to come back. What if they're still there?" she rambled on.

Sirius let out a small sigh, but Lily was too busy to notice. "I'm sure he's fine Lily. I'll have to tell him that you're worrying yourself sick over him. He'll be pleased to hear it," he responded.

"So you know where he is?" she asked again. There was no way he could tell her, not now, not like this. It was extremely unreasonable for James to ask him not to tell her. She was going to find out anyway. People were going to be talking about it. Someone would find out in the Order. It'd be best for her to hear it from him though. It would have to wait though. There would have to be a better time.

"No," Sirius said quickly. It wasn't completely a lie. He didn't know **exactly** where it was that James was sent to.

Lily's face fell, "We should get to Hogwarts then."

* * *

James woke up at the sound of a large crack of thunder. He quickly got up and looked at the sky, it was turning purple and the wind was picking up. There was debris flying around out in the clearing as well. Just as he stood up he heard it start to pour as well. Quickly, he gathered up his bag and headed deeper into the forest. 

Soon enough the ground started to slope upwards and he found himself at the top of a very high cliff and the trees seemed to spread out, finally he could see out over the cliff. He thought he had escaped the brutal weather, but now when he was on the other side it seemed as if that's where it had started. The light was eerie, a circle of brightness directly above him, and the sky the same ominous purple color as before. He looked down and saw a very chilling sight.

It seemed almost like a sea of bodies, floating milling about at the bottom of the cliff. They were all fighting to leave, but all were stuck. Some would try to climb out and up, but they'd be pushed back by some invisible force.

One...thing had gotten within fifteen feet of James.He thought it might have been a man, but he couldn't be sure. He couldn't even be sure that it was human.

_Of course he isn't human, he was dead. He was in some kind of purgatory. _

He was reaching out for James, and suddenly, as if in slow motion, he started falling backwards. The last thing James saw of him was the look of desperation in his eyes.

_I have to stop this. _

Then, there was another loud crash of thunder, and about one hundred of the people were pulled up towards the ball of light. The wailing was terrible and James couldn't bear it anymore.

* * *

Lily and Sirius and just arrived in Dumbledore's office and they were now waiting for him to come in. There was complete silence between the two. 

Sirius wished that he could tell her that James was in danger, but that might make things even worse for him, and her.

Dumbledore strolled in a few minutes later.

"Hello Sirius, Lily," he said cheerfully.

They both said hello back, and he sat down.

"You two look horrible, what happened?" he asked.

"Last night I was at James and Lily's house, and..." he paused when he heard a small whimper from Lily. Dumbledore glanced at her, but motioned for him to continue, "their house is at the top of a hill that overlooks a cemetary. Dumbledore...there were Inferi."

"Are you sure?" was all Dumbledore had to say.

Sirius nodded and there was a moment of silence.

"Well, then our Mr. Potter is in greater danger than we ever imagined," the old Headmaster said quietly.

Lily sat up further in her chair.

"What about James?" she asked quickly, "Where is he?"

Dumbledore stood up and started to pace, but didn't answer. He couldn't decide whether he could tell her the truth or not.

"Professor...please," she pleaded.

He sat back down in his chair and sighed. "Well...before you were married I asked James to go on a mission for me. At first, he had agreed, but then he started to have seconds thoughts, and finally told me no after you two...anyways, I guess that last night he finally decided that it would be ok for him to go, and so he did."

"Where did he go?" Lily asked worriedly.

"When wizards die, they go to a sort of purgatory, which is usually a very nice place, but still a purgatory. They're just stuck there for a while, no one knows much about it, but we have figured out ways to get there. I knew that Voldemort had been considering using Inferi against us, and I sent James to see if there was a way he could stop it, or how it happened, any information on it would be very helpful."

"How could you send him there?"

"Lily, think of what would happen if we could stop Voldemort," Sirius said quietly.

Lily glared at him and then turned her attention back to Dumbledore, who had yet to answer.

"Can he come back?" she questioned.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Lily, I'm not completely sure. People have come back before, and some haven't. He went in knowing that he might not be able to come back."


	19. Firewhiskey

Lily abruptly left the room when she heard that. James left? When she had told him to leave she didn't mean for him to leave the world of the living! What was he thinking?

"I'm going to kill you, James Potter," she muttered under her breath while wrapping her cloak around her tightly. It was late autumn and the wind was picking up. She watched as leaves swirled on he ground in front of her.

She was now entering the village of Hogsmeade. Lights were just starting to turn on in the small houses and buildings. Lily decided that now was as good as time as any to go get a drink. They say that you should never drink alone, but now she reasoned, was not your average circumstances. So she went to go get herself good and drunk.

The tavern she chose was very noisy and crowded. Just what she needed.

"I'll have a Firewhiskey," she said to the bartender. He handed one over and she sat down on one of the stools. She downed Firewhiskey after Firewhiskey.

"I never thought you'd be one to drink, Miss Evans," said a sly voice.

Lily slowly turned around to face the voice.

"It's Mrs. Potter actually," she replied. It was Severus Snape speaking to her.

"Mrs. Potter? What'd he do, hypnotize you?" he scoffed. Deep down inside, his heart broke. He had always had a soft spot for Lily, she had been the closest thing to a friend that he had ever had. It was nice to have someone that didn't look at you as pathetic because of your lack of money, like Malfoy, or nerdy because of your looks and love for potions. Lily had recognized him as a person and saved him from the constant teasing from their mutual enemy, James Potter and his three friends.

Lily looked into the bottom of the bottle, and noticed that it was empty as well.

"I'll have another," she said while lazily holding out her hand.

"No, she won't," Snape interjected.

"Who are you to say whether I will have another or not?" Lily asked angrily and with a lot of motion, because she fell off of he barstool.

Snape tried not to laugh. "Lily, you're drunk, let me take you home," he said, offering her his hand.

She grabbed it and they left the bar.

He grabbed her hand more tightly and apparated the both of them to her house.

They were both seated on the couch and Severus lit a fire.

"It's a bit chilly," he said as an explanation.

"Thank you, Severus." Lily replied slowly.

"So...I take it that things in the Potter household are not going so well?" Severus asked.

Lily sighed, "James left."

And then the tears started.

"I mean...I guess that I shouldn't care so much, he's been so terrible to me, but I think that..." she trailed off.

"Do you want coffee?" she asked.

Severus nodded, "You should probably have some too, it might sober you up a little bit. I forgot how well you hold your liquor."

They both went to the kitchen.

"I'm going to go to bed," she said quietly after a while.

"Are you going to be ok?" Severus asked. He could tell that his friend was hurting and he wanted so badly to help her. He knew that James was no good for her, but it had been her choice.

Lily broke down, sobbing, "I'm not." she managed to get out.

"What has he done to you?" Severus asked in awe. Potter must have done something terrible to her to make her break down like this.

"He's James, what can I say? He got me pregnant...and then we were attacked and I lost the baby. He didn't want anything to do with me. Now he's gone off on some mission against the Dark Lord too, and he didn't even tell me." Lily answered quietly, "I'm obviously not good enough for him."

Severus was intrigued. A mission?

"What kind of a mission?" he asked.

"There's this...Order of the Phoenix and..." she paled as she realized what she said, "You have to go. Now. I shouldn't have said anything. It's been nice seeing you, but really, it's late and I have to be up early in the morning. Thank you so much for bringing me home." She said, shooing him out the door.

"Lily...wait!" but it was too late, she had locked him out. He banged on the door yelling something about wanting to help her, but she didn't listen...instead she slid against the door and cried, cried for herself, cried for James, and cried for the fact that she couldn't tell her friend what was going on.

* * *

Sirius left Hogwarts soon after Lily. It wasn't safe for her to be out wandering alone, but where had she gone? All of a sudden he thought that he had heard James's voice.

"Sirius?" it asked.

Then he remembered that he still had his mirror in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at it. James was there, but he looked exhausted and scared.

"James! I knew we were good when we created this, but I didn't think we'd be able to communicate between the living and the dead!" Sirius said, amazed.

"I'm not dead...yet. It's no use, Sirius, Voldemort's convinced everyone here that by bringing them back as Inferi that they'll be given another chance at life. He's brainwashed them. I'm on the run. They're trying to sell me out to him...I don't think that I'm going to be able to outrun them for much longer."

"James...I don't know what to say...I'll tell Dumbledore to try and bring you back now...I'm right outside of Hogwarts."

"Thanks Sirius...you're the best friend that a guy could have. If I don't make it..."

"You will."

"Please tell Remus that he was a great friend as well and tell Lily...tell Lily that I screwed up and that I loved her so much."

"I won't do that, James. You're going to be fine."

Sirius put the pocket gingerly back in his pocket and rushed back into the school.

"Professor!" he shouted as he saw the old man pacing down one of the halls and talking to one of his students.

"May I help you, Sirius?" he asked.

"Professor, it's James...he contacted me...he needs to come back. They're pursuing him. He doesn't think that he can hold them off for much longer."

Dumbledore nodded. "It's been taken care of."


	20. Back from the Underworld

Lily was currently working in her third month at the hospital. She was almost to the point where she could graduate from being a nurse and promoted to being a healer. She just had to finish up a few more papers, and a couple of more complicated labs and she'd be done. She'd be able to provide for herself now, not that she was going to be alone for long.

James hadn't come back yet, but a clause to the Betrothal Act, to which she was bound by wizarding law, stated that if a married witch was widowed and there was no child, she would be set up with another husband with no say in the matter. Now that James had been pronounced dead she couldn't tap into any of his funds, and she had to support herself. It was quite different than from where she had come from. The money could have only been hers had it been noted in his will. His will that he wasn't thinking about at age twenty. How morbid would that have been to write a will at an age when you're to be worrying about grades and college, maybe your first job, now with that stupid law, a husband or wife.

Not that she believed that James was dead. She hadn't forgiven him completely for all that he had done to her, but it was damned hard not to miss him! Not to mention that at least she was used to all that James does. His moods, his actions, and his feelings. At least he wasn't physically abusive, and he did actually care for her...in his own weird little way.

She walked down the hall to pick up her first patient's clipboard for the morning. Rounds would be starting soon and she wanted to get ahead.

James was weak. After seeing all of those...he didn't know what to call them. They weren't completely dead, and yet they weren't really alive either. They weren't Inferi yet either. They were the spirits of those who were waiting, for what he didn't know. They were milling about and then there was that huge flash. The sky had been purple in color and then he was being sucked up. It seemed as if every muscle in his body was being pulled, and there was this great pressure that just made him feel like he was going to explode. He didn't know where he was now. He was lying on the ground, and couldn't move. He didn't have the strength to even drag himself up to even stand, let alone walk. He settled for just lying there. Maybe someone would come and take pity on him. Hopefully it would be a friend rather than foe, but at this point anything would do. Slowly he started to lose consciousness, and soon enough, he was out cold on the hard, cold ground.

She was rushing home from the store. She had made it in just before it closed and now it was cold and dark and she just wanted to get home to her cats. They needed their food now. The poor cats had been waiting all day and she had just gotten her check in the mail this afternoon. Her husband had died many years ago serving the government in their army against Grindelwald. He had died serving them and now the only thanks that they showed her for losing her husband to a stupid war was a measly little two-hundred sickle check every month. She missed her husband a lot. He had been working on a way to help her learn magic, because she was a squib. He thought it was so unfair that she couldn't do magic, and he thought that everyone had magical ability in them, and it was just a matter of tapping into it.

It was cold and damp out now. There was a slight fog lifting from the ground and it gave an overall eerie effect. She pulled her cloak more tightly around her and shivered. Suddenly she heard a moan from the alley she was passing. She stopped, debating whether she should stop or not. Her cats really did need their food, but it could wait an extra five minutes, couldn't it?

She stopped and looked around really quickly. If whoever was in the alley was bad, there was no one there to help her. Not to mention she wouldn't even be able to defend herself with magic. Who says that it'd be a wizard anyway?

"What are you doing, silly? It could be someone who desperately needs your help, Arabella," she tried to muster up the courage to go look. So she drew the cloak tighter than it already was before and entered the alley.

There was a man lying on the ground in a heap. There was a small pool of blood underneath him. She nudged him a little bit and he groaned.

"Are you alive?" she asked. There was no response. She pushed him a little bit more and the only noise was a small clatter. She strained her eyes and saw a wand rolling down the alley. _So you are a wizard._

There was no way she'd be able to Apparate, seeing as she was a squib, and there was no way she'd be able to drag him through the streets of London without some questions, and then what would she do?

"Alright, I'll be right back with some help," she said quietly to no one in particular. It's not like he could hear her.

Luckily, her favorite grocery store was a few blocks away from St. Mungo's. Mrs. Figg ran the few blocks as well as she could in her slippers, and when she got there she didn't know who to talk to. She stopped the first healer she saw and told him what was going on. Immediately they sent a team out to retrieve the man and she waited there, with his wand which she had decided to keep from them. She sat in the waiting room fingering the long piece of wood.

Lily was changing out of her uniform, and was ready to head home and drink a nice cup of hot tea by the warm fire. Maybe she'd read a book, or catch up with friends. Maybe she'd have Severus over. In the past few months she had gotten to know him even better than she had at Hogwarts. They were great friends now. He seemed to know her so well. It was almost kind of creepy when she thought about how well he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, what she wanted. It was like he was reading her mind almost.

She had just gotten ready when her boss came in. They had an emergency that had just rolled in. A man had been found in an alleyway and he needed some charms before they could assess what was wrong with him.

She changed back into hospital clothes quickly, excited for the opportunity to perform some of the charms that would help him immediately. All of the others had gone home and she was the only intern left. She enjoyed staying late and working the extra hours, it's why she was so far ahead of the others her age. The reason that she was almost a healer and they weren't.

Lily rushed down to the emergency wing of the hospital, her wand at the ready. She grabbed the chart and looked over it really quickly.

John Doe 

_Male: approx. 20 years old_

_Severe unknown trauma to the head and body. Unconscious at scene._

It wasn't much to go on, and she hoped that he'd wake up and they'd be able to figure out what's going on with this guy. She pushed her way through the door and saw the man on the bed. He was covered in dirt and blood. Almost to the point where you couldn't tell which there was more of. His hair was matted down and caked with dirt, and you couldn't see his face at all because of the bruising.

The healers would be there in a few minutes and they just needed her to clean the guy up a bit before they started to work on him. Of course, they'd let her help when the time came.

She first started by ridding his body of the blood and dirt. Then she dressed him in the standard hospital gown. The man seemed very familiar to her, although she couldn't place it. She shook the thought from her head and continued her job. The last thing on her list was to get his face cleaned up, and then maybe she could get him to wake up.

She chose the softest scourging charm to clean the dirt from her face, and then the bruising went down a bit. Her heart stopped beating for a minute, and tears formed in her eyes.

It was James.

She stroked his face. It still had a purplish hue from the almost faded bruises, but it was him. She knew it.

"Oh James, please wake up," she whispered.

The healer on the case barged into the room and asked her what she was doing.

"I need to be removed from the case. This is my husband," she told him, wiping the tears off of her face.

He nodded and reminded her that she wasn't allowed in the room now that she wasn't on the case. She protested, but realized it'd be better. She could go tell Sirius and Remus now.

She didn't know whether they deserved to know though. They both thought that he was dead when the Ministry had said so. They didn't believe that he was alive. They had stopped talking to her when she revealed that she did believe that he was alive. More tears came to her eyes when she realized what was really happening. Just because he was there didn't mean that was going to live.

She went to the lounge and ran straight for the fireplace to Floo to Sirius and Remus' flat. She found herself enveloped in the emerald flame and thought about what they were going to say.

Lily landed hardly on their cold stone floor. Sirius was on the couch with a woman and she closed her eyes.

"Merlin Lily!" Sirius yelled. "Why don't you warn us next time! What the hell are you doing just barging in here?"

Lily bit her lower lip, hoping that the tears wouldn't fall from her face again.

"I was at work and James..." she started.

"Don't start telling me that he's alive again. He's dead, Lily. Get over it. I told you to go talk to Dumbledore if you wanted to find out why he's dead. There's no way he survived that."

"Stop saying that! I saw him, I saw James with my own eyes!" Lily screamed.

The woman on the couch glared at Lily and conjured up some clothes. She then kissed Sirius and Disapparated. Remus walked down the stairs, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey Lily," he said quietly. He really regretted not talking to her, but it was so hard listening to her belief that his friend was still alive when it wasn't possible that he was.

Lily smiled at him. She knew that he was having a hard time with this whole ordeal.

"Remus, James is alive!" Lily said.

Remus looked at her, then at Sirius. She was in tears and he couldn't believe what was going on.

"How do you know?" he asked.

"At the hospital, I got assigned to his case. They found him in an alleyway and brought him. He's n bad shape, but they think he'll make it. He's definitely taken a beating. He has a huge gash and lost a lot of blood, and he's all bruised, but we think he'll make it. He's unconscious, but I was hoping you guys could come down with me and wait for him to wake up. I know he'll want to see you guys first. You're his best friends and he needs you to be there." she replied quickly.

Remus nodded and agreed. He just needed to throw on some clothes. He didn't want to get his hopes up quite yet. Maybe someone just looked like him, or had enchanted himself to look like him. You never could be sure these days.

Sirius decided he'd come as well, albeit a bit reluctantly.

They were ready in record time, and back at the hospital.

It was hard for Lily to wait in the waiting room with everyone else. She felt that she needed to be in the action, she needed to be doing something, not just sitting around waiting for someone else to fix him.

Remus and Sirius had yet to say anything.

It had been an hour and a half before a healer came to talk to them.

"James is awake now. He's fine and will be ready to leave tonight, if you'd like him too. He looked a lot worse than he was, which is always a nice thing to see. One of you can go in and see him now."

The three of them looked at each other.

"Well who wants to go?" Lily asked.

Sirius was really eager to see if it was him now and started to get out of his chair. Remus shot him a dirty look and he lowered himself back down into the chair.

"Lily, I think that you should be the first one to see him, you're his wife, go ahead," Remus offered, kindly. He was always the thoughtful one.

"Well it's not like we're the couple of the year. I think he'd rather see his friends first." Lily replied, knowing it was true. The truth hurts.

"Lily go. He'll want to see you," Sirius replied, realizing that Remus was right.

"I'm scared, you guys," she whispered. She finally got up though and headed to his room.

James looked around his room. It was all white and sterile looking. He hated hospitals. He needed to get out of here as soon as possible.

He wondered how long he had been gone. How much time had passed? Were his friends even alive? Had Voldemort been defeated yet?

The door creaked open as he pondered these thoughts.

Lily walked in. Her auburn hair was as fiery red as every, and her eyes were even greener. He could tell that she'd been crying a lot because of her tear-stained cheeks.

"Hey, stranger," she said quietly. She laughed quietly at how cliché it sounded.

"Lily, how long have I been gone?" he asked quietly.

"Almost a year, it's been hard, but I'm glad you're back."

"I thought you kicked me out..." he said, confused.

"I did, but you can come back, if you want to that is. You were gone for a long time and I realized that I really want to try this again. I love you, James. I love you a lot, and it scares me how much I love you because I don't even know you that well. So if you'll have me back, you're welcome home."

She took a deep breath and waited for his response.

"When can I get out of here?" he asked.

"Tonight, if you're up to it. I'll send Remus and Sirius in now, if you'd like." Lily replied, turning for the door. He hadn't really answered her.

"Hey, come back here." he said quietly, patting a spot on the bed next to him. He winced as he moved over to make room for her.

She hesitated, but sat down with him. He wrapped an arm around her. "I've missed you. I've been thinking about you the whole time, I'll tell you more about it later though. I've go to tell you something though. I went on a mission for the Order, as you know. I went to the underworld, and saw the souls of people that had recently died. I saw many people I knew. I saw my parents, my brother, and other relatives, but I want to tell you, I saw our baby, Lily, our baby. We would've had a little girl. She was beautiful. She looked a lot like you, fiery red hair, on a baby! It was the weirdest t I'd ever seen. She had my eyes as well. It was so surreal. She knew that she's loved. I'm so sorry, Lily."

Lily started to cry even more. It was 't tears of sadness, really. She felt relieved now.

"I love you," she whimpered and crumpled up in his arms. He was the one that was supposed to be sick, but he was comforting her, rubbing her back, and kissing the top of her head.

"I love you too, Lily."


	21. Thanksgiving

Lily and James laid in the bed for a while longer until there was another knock at the door.

"I need to check him to see if he's fit to be—what are you doing here, Lily?" asked the nurse who came in.

"Hello, Nurse Jones, I'd like you to meet my husband, James," Lily replied.

Lily got up from the bed and lowered herself into one of the chairs that were meant for visitors.

"I'm going to need you to leave while I perform his check-up, Mrs. Potter," the nurse said with a smile.

Lily listened and headed back out to the waiting room to get Remus and Sirius. They'd be able to catch up with him now. She walked in and they both rushed to see what she had to say.

"How is he?" they both asked immediately.

"He's fine. I think he's going to be just fine. He saw a lot. I think he's scared, but he'll be up to pulling pranks with you two again in no time. Yes, I know you three still are up to no good."

"To hell with the rules, we're both going to see him!" Sirius shouted.

Lily shook her head, "I think I'm going to take off for a while. I'll be back tonight to take him home."

The nurse left after checking his range of motion, and whether he was still bleeding. He was fine though. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

He wished that Lily hadn't had to leave. After he had seen their little girl, he had had this overwhelming sense of guilt. He wished that he had been more supportive of Lily, like a real husband should be. What was wrong with him? It wasn't like he didn't love her. He was infatuated with her. She consumed almost every thought that he had, and yet, he hadn't been there for her when she was hurting the most. No wonder she kicked him out.

But, she wanted him back now. She wanted to give them another chance. She thought that maybe it could work between them. He wasn't going to screw it up this time. They were going to renew their vows, and make a family. They were going to have a wonderful large family—if that's what Lily wanted. He wasn't going to make her do anything she didn't want to do, of course.

He was still lost in thought when the door opened again. Maybe Lily was coming back to talk to him some more. He couldn't help but feel a little disappointed to see that it was just Remus and Sirius.

"Hey guys." he said.

"Well that lacked enthusiasm. Here, our best friend has been gone for an entire year. You'd think he'd be a little more excited to see us!" Sirius replied, hurt.

"Sirius, don't say that. I thin he was expecting Lily again. Don't be like that, he's been through a lot," Remus scolded his friend.

"Sorry guys, but I was hoping it'd be Lily again. I'm glad to see you though. Don't think for a minute that I'm not happy to see you!" he said, pulling himself into a sitting position. As he got up, the scent of Lily's perfume wafted up. He smiled. "Anyways, it's really been a year? An entire year? What's gone on since I left?"

His friends looked at each other, "Well, for starters, the Ministry has pronounced you dead. There was a huge memorial service and everything. Everyone thinks you're dead."

"But...if everyone thought I was dead, then how is it that I was able to come back? There was a part to the spell that said if everyone thought I was dead, I'd then die. As long as people thought I was still alive I could come back."

"Lily believed you were still alive, James. Lily and Lily only. Even we thought you were dead. We weren't speaking to her for the longest time because it hurt so much listening to her ideas as to where you were when the chances of your surviving were so little," Remus whispered.

"You didn't believe I'd make it?"

"Dumbledore said that it'd be unlikely that you were going to come back. Dumbledore doesn't lie. He wouldn't give us false hope." Remus explained.

"I'm really glad you're back though. We can go prank the school, or head out to the bar, or something. Let's get out of this morbid place," Sirius said. He had remained quiet until that point.

"I'm not really up for that quite yet. I want to get things straightened out with Lily first. I want to make sure that she's ok, that my coming back is ok. She wants me to live with her again. I don't want to mess it up. I was always gone before, and I'm not going to make that mistake again. I want to make things right."

"How about making things right with us, James? We're your best friends. We've always been there for you and then you decided that because of some girl, you were going to go leave everyone because your life wasn't good enough anymore. We've been here for you since day one, and we weren't as good for you as Lily. You decided that in the heat of an argument when she kicked you out and probably didn't even mean it, that you were going to go on some mission that was likely to get you killed. You didn't even say goodbye to us. You didn't even stop to consider that we might be able to help you with Lily. She's always liked Remus, maybe he could've patched things up between you two, but you decided you had to leave. You didn't even SAY GOODBYE!" Sirius shouted, and left the room.

James was left sitting on the bed staring at Remus. He felt a lump in his throat as he tried to speak, "He hates me, doesn't he?"

Remus shook his head, "I don't know what's gotten into him, honestly. He was so excited when we were in the waiting room. I think he's in denial that you're back. He's had a really tough time since the memorial. He really had given up hope, he was depressed, he stopped talking to anyone who mentioned you, he stayed in bed for days, he cried, Sirius cried. In all the years I've known him, I've never seen him cry."

James sighed, "You know, they should just lock me up, shouldn't they? I shouldn't be allowed to be around people because I just hurt them. I'm a hazard to society."

Remus laughed. "They'll be fine, James. Just give it a little time. Everything will go back to normal. I know that Sirius is really glad that you're back. He just needs to get used to the idea first. He was just starting to get back to normal."

"So what've things been like, lately?" James asked. He wanted a full briefing on what had gone on so he wouldn't be totally clueless.

"Well...Fudge took office a while ago. The government has been ok, Dumbledore does everything for him though, but no one is supposed to know that. Sirius is still a womanizer. He settled down with one girl for a while, meaning a couple of months, but then she left him for another guy. It was terrible, I thought he was finally going to get it together and be responsible, but she went and dumped him. Lily is a month or so away from becoming a healer, though now that you're back I think she might quit. She did it just to earn some money when they froze your account. She was completely broke for a while, almost lost the house and everything in it, but she's doing fine now. Let's see...oh Dumbledore had your account unfrozen. He checked you out while you were still unconscious. He also says that we're going to keep it quiet that you're back. You can go about your life like you normally did though. I don't think that your death was widely publicized, they didn't want to have to go into detail with how you died, and Lily wasn't going to let them lie. Peter hasn't really talked to us since the memorial, but I'm sure he's lurking about somewhere. Oh! I've been a lot better. In her research, Lily and some other students came up with a potion for werewolves. I'm not cured or anything, but now I can just curl up like a tame wolf instead of having the violent self-mutilating transformations. That's really about it, though."

James had fallen asleep while listening and Remus pulled the covers up. James must have had a really hard time to be so exhausted. With one glance back he left to go find Sirius.

Lily returned to the hospital. She had made a quick run to the store before everything was sold out. She had decided that they would go to the Order's Thanksgiving meal after all, now she had a lot to be thankful for, with James being back.

She had called Molly to let her know, since she'd be doing all the cooking, and asked if there was anything she could help with. There hadn't been anything, but she decided she was going to make a pie anyway; it was what she was best at.

Lily entered James' room to find him sleeping. She hated to wake him up, but decided that he'd probably rather have the comforts of home than spending his Thanksgiving in a sterile atmosphere.

"Hey, wake up," she said quietly as she gently shook his shoulder. He jumped up and twisted her arm., she screamed.

"Lily! I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean to!" he stuttered a bit. Lily shook her arm out.

"It's fine. No big deal, I'm sure it was just a reflex. You must have had some pretty tough times. It's time to go home now, if you want to." she replied.

"Lily...are you sure you want me back? I completely understand if you don't. I don't want you to feel obligated to house me because I'm back. I can find a place of my own, no problem."

"You're coming home, end of discussion, James. I love you and I want to be with you."

James smiled and let her help him out of the bed. He had changed earlier so they were ready to go within a few minutes. Soon enough they were back at home.

"You should probably get to bed, James. You've had a tough time." Lily suggested.

"Um...where am I sleeping?" he asked. He didn't want to assume anything.

"In our bed, James. Everything is going to be like a normal couple from now on," she said quite matter of factly.

James nodded and went up to their bedroom, surprised that nothing had really changed at all. It was comforting. He was just drifting off when he heard Lily moving things around in the kitchen. Pots and pans banging were that last things he heard.

The next morning he woke up, surprised to find Lily lying in his arms. He quickly withdrew them, hoping that she wouldn't wake up. What was wrong with him? It's what she wanted, wasn't it? She said she wanted to be like a normal couple from now on. He decided to get up and take a shower. He got out from underneath the blankets and realized it was freezing.

Next he looked out the window. There was a layer of fresh snow on the ground, with more falling from the sky. The trees were completely bare. What day was it? That was the first thing he wanted to find out when Lily woke up, which, judging by her snoring, wasn't going to be anytime soon.

When he came out of the shower, Lily was already awake, and out of the room. The bed was made, and the room had been vacuumed and picked up. James was impressed with how quietly she had gone about picking up, or how completely oblivious he had been to the noise.

He got dressed, finding that his clothes were still in the same drawers they had always been in. She had kept everything the same as it had been. After making sure he looked ready, and presentable for the day, he headed downstairs to see Lily.

She was in the kitchen pulling something out of the oven. He could smell whatever it was, and the scent was amazing. He couldn't place it though.

"What are you making?" he asked.

"Well good morning to you too, James," Lily replied with a huge smile. "I'm making pumpkin pie, today is Thanksgiving after all."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked.

"No, I'm just making the pie, we're going over to the Order Headquarters for dinner. Molly is making it. We're supposed to be there later tonight.

"Oh." James said. He went to the island in the kitchen and sat down on his favorite stool to have a cup of coffee.

"That is, if you're up to it. We don't have to go. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. Of course you don't want to go, you just got back yesterday. I'll just run to the store to get—"

"Lily, it's fine. We'll go, I'm completely up to it. I was just a little surprised is all, I didn't think the Order would be doing a Thanksgiving together."

Lily smiled and put the pie in the fridge for it to cool. Pumpkin pie was always better cold.

They sat in silence as Lily went about cleaning he traditional Muggle way. James sat, reading the paper and drinking his coffee.

"I see you guys have been having a short time of peace. What do you think Voldemort is up to?" he asked.

Lily shook her head. "They don't really let me know a lot about what's going on, I've been so busy at the hospital that I haven't really had much to do in the Order, not that they'd really let me do anything anyway because they thought that I was in a vulnerable state of mind thinking that you were still alive. They thought that I was in some state of severe denial that it wouldn't be safe to let me do anything."

"How is the hospital? I didn't know that you were into healing." James said. He had forgotten that his wife was working now.

"It's fine. I like it, but I'd rather be an Auror. They wouldn't let me do that either, though. Healing is fun, but anybody can say a few charms and make people better, not everyone can catch and destroy the worst wizard of all time and all of his followers. However, I am way ahead of the rest of the people who started when I did. I've been working extra shifts at all hours of the day and I've learned a lot more than they have. The healers favor me and I get more complicated cases. I wasn't supposed to become an actual healer until almost a year from now, but with all of the time I've put in, I'll be made one next month!"

She sounded excited at the promotion. James knew that she could be way more than a healer though, she should be an Auror; it was another thing that he had ruined for her, if he had been there they would've let her join the force.

"That's great, but now that I'm back, do you think they'd let you become an Auror? I hate that there's another thing that I've gone and ruined for you."

"James, I'm fine where I'm at right now, and there are other reasons that I don't want to go into training to be an Auror, maybe in the future sometime, but not now. I want to be a healer for a while. I'm going to have plenty of time to be an Auror later."

James let the subject go. He'd hate to push her and get into an argument his first day back at home. He decided to change the subject.

"Lily, where exactly are we at?" he asked.

"I'm pretty sure we're on top of the hill at Godric's Hollow," she said, with a twinkle in her eye.

"Seriously though, I don't want to mess things up again."

She sighed and put down the sponge that she had been using to clean the flour and sugar off of the stovetop.

"I guess I don't really know. I'll let you decide, but now I have to go get dressed and ready for tonight." she replied, heading upstairs.

Normally James would follow her and try to get her into bed, but it just didn't seem right so soon. She said he could decide, but that'd be asking a bit much after an entire year away. That wasn't a clue that he should follow her, was it?

Lily sat up in their room on her bed. She had kind of hoped that James would follow her up and...well obviously he didn't want her. Had she grown ugly in the past year? Was there something wrong with her?

She put on a very tight black turtleneck sweater and a longer dark brown skirt that was clinging to her hips. Last of all, she put on a pair of knee high boots. She had to admit, she did look really good, although, maybe she'd put on a little weight, but nothing that noticeable, or was it? James wasn't like that though. He'd always loved her. A pound or two wasn't going to make that much of a difference.

She put her hair up in a bun on the top of her head. A few tendrils fell down in the back, a bit curly. The overall effect was beautiful.

She headed back downstairs with her cloak on and told James that it was time to go. James had taken the time to put some nicer clothes on and he had been running his fingers through his hair because it stood up even more than usual.

She smiled, trying not to look too disappointed with the fact that he hadn't come up with her, and grabbed the pie.

"You remember the address, right?" she asked. He nodded and the both Disapparated.

Within a moment or two they were just outside the headquarters, and they quickly walked up to what looked like an old decrepit house that even a slight wind would tip over.

Lily turned to James before they entered. "I'm not sure who knows you're back yet, but hopefully they've been warned. I don't want you to be too surprised though if they're shocked."

James nodded and knocked on the door. It was opened a few seconds later by Sirius.

"Oh, it's you." he said quietly, "I didn't know you were coming."

Lily glared at him. How could he be acting this way towards James? They were best friends. James looked heartbroken. She'd remember to ask him about it later.

"Are you going to let us in, or are we going to have to stand here in the cold for the night?" Lily asked. Sirius opened the storm door and let them in.

The Potters walked into the kitchen to give Molly the pie that Lily had made. When they entered, silence fell over the entire room.

"James?" Molly asked.

He nodded. "I'm back," he said quietly.

Molly ran up to him and gave him a huge hug. "It's so good to see you. Everyone thought you were dead!"

Soon afterwards, others were saying things quite similar and James was on the receiving end of a lot of other hugs and kisses. Lily set the pie on one of the counters and started to set the dining room table.

At the dinner, everyone was talking to James, asking him how he was, what went on, and all sorts of other questions. He hadn't even sat by Lily. He was sitting between Molly's brothers, telling them all about what the underworld was like.

She sat and picked at her food, not eating much. Dumbledore had decided to call a meeting afterwards, to catch James up on what was going on in the world today.

While everyone else went to the meeting, Lily helped Molly clear the table and wash the dishes.

"You must be glad to have James back," she said quietly.

Lily nodded and didn't say anything.

"I can't even imagine if Arthur had been away for a year, leaving me with all these kids. Did I tell you we're expecting our sixth now? I just found out a couple weeks ago."

"Congratulations, Molly!" Lily said. She loved all of the Weasely's kids. They were all so adorable. She hoped that someday she and James could have a family as nice as theirs.

"How about you two? Are you planning to have any kids?" she asked. Molly was a more traditional type and thought that since they'd been married for a while now, they should most definitely have kids, or some on the way.

"We would've had a little girl by now. I miscarried though. I don't know, especially now since James doesn't seem to want too much to do with me, that there are going to be any kids in the future. I hope so, I just don't know."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring up such a painful subject. What do you mean by James not wanting anything to do with you? He couldn't stop looking at you. It's just too bad my brothers couldn't leave him alone for two seconds. They get so into missions though. They're so strong. I don't know what I'd ever do without them around. Anyways, I wouldn't give up on James, he loves you."

They finished the rest of the dishes talking about whether Molly was going to have another boy or not. She was sure that this one was going to be a girl, and that she wasn't going to stop until she had one. Lily laughed at the thought that there could be a couple dozen children before that happened.

The meeting was over now because there were loud voices in the hallway outside of the kitchen. Lily picked up one of the screaming children and tried to calm him down. It was one of the twins, and his cries had made the other one cry as well. They were so adorable with their red hair. For a minute she thought of her little girl that she had never gotten the chance to know. Molly was so lucky to have her large family. She would always be loved.

She yawned, the turkey was affecting her already it seemed. She should probably go and find James so they could leave. They didn't want to try and Disapparate if they were too tired. It'd be risky.

She rocked the baby until he stopped crying, but then James walked in the door.

"You made a friend," he said with a laugh.

"It seems to me, you might have lost one," Lily replied, referring to Sirius' previously cold behavior towards him.

Other members and their families started to leave and the Potters decided they would as well. Everyone reminded James how glad they were to see him again. They were just headed out the door when Dumbledore stopped them.

"How are you two doing?"

"We're fine. Tired, but fine." Lily said.

"Lily, I was hoping that maybe since James is back, we could get you into doing some more work for us. I know that you're busy with the hospital and all, but we could really use you."

"I'm just the same as when James was gone. I don't see how I could be any more useful now than I was a month ago, but thank you."

"I'm sorry. It was for James's safety. I thought that doing more work would make you think that he's dead. I thought maybe that if I pushed you away a little bit, you'd keeping believing that James was alive. He needed you to believe that he was alive in order for him to come back. It was for his protection."

Lily shook her head. "Well that was fairly clever. Mean, but clever. I think that James and I really need to get going now, but I will get in contact with you later and I'll do whatever the Order needs."

Dumbledore smiled, "I'm glad that you understand, Mrs. Potter. I wish the both of you a very happy Thanksgiving."

With that, all three of them went their separate ways and returned home.

"I'm quite thankful that you're back, James," Lily said, while putting on her pajamas. He was in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

He spit out the toothpaste and rinsed his toothbrush, "I'm thankful that you're taking me back."

They both crawled into bed. Lily was reading a book, and James was reading the rest of the paper.

"So what happened with Sirius?" she asked.

James didn't answer for a minute. He took a deep breath and began, "Sirius is mad at me. Actually, he hates me, I think. At the hospital, he yelled at me for not saying goodbye. He's mad that I didn't say goodbye when I left. I think he's more mad about the fact that I left without him. That he didn't get to come with, and now he was getting over my being gone and I just show up again. I don't really know what's wrong. Remus kind of hinted that Sirius is just really broken up about the fact that I was gone and now I just popped up out of nowhere. That he thinks it's going to be harder if I were to die for real on a mission and I hadn't said goodbye. I don't really know what to do. My best friend hates me, and Lily...you've seemed quite cold towards me all evening. Did I do something to you too?"

Lily put down her book. "No James. I was just hoping for a little bit more from you to start out with. But you're back and that's what really matters. I'll wait."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Lily smiled and reached behind his head. She pulled it closer towards her and started to kiss him. He pulled away immediately though.

"You see what I mean? You wouldn't even talk to me earlier, let alone touch me. I'm your wife. I want to be able to hug you, kiss you, and more, and you wouldn't even talk to me. Is there something wrong with me?"

"No! I love you, Lily. I didn't know what you wanted from me. I didn't want to assume the wrong thing and end up making you hate me. I didn't want to try and sleep with you right away. I kind of figured that you were just being nice to me because I've been gone, and that you were going to kick me out again. I want so badly to be with you. I love you, Lily, and I just didn't want to mess things up the day I got back."

Lily pulled him into a kiss again, and this time he didn't pull away. Lily was running her fingers through his hair and he started to kiss her neck, while pulling her closer to him. James had been surprised at first at how quickly Lily wanted to move forward, but he realized that he did too. He wanted it, but she seemed to need it.

A while later Lily lay in his arms. Her chest moved up and down with each breath, her cheeks were flushed, hair askew. The large comforter was just barely covering her, but she was content. All she needed was to be in his arms. James loved watching her. She was so beautiful.

With one last kiss, they both fell asleep.

Author's Note: I hope all of you have had a happy Thanksgiving. I felt like writing another chapter this week, so here it is. I'm hoping that maybe I could get twenty reviews for this chapter to bring to 300 reviews, it'd be VERY nice. I'd also like to thank all of the new readers that have reviewed, I love that! I'd like to hear from some of my old readers too, it's been a while!


	22. Welcome to the Order

Author's Note: So I realized after many reviews telling me so, that there is no Thanksgiving. I obviously didn't think about that while writing, so I apologize. Let's just call it artistic license for now, ok?

Four away from 300... : )

Lily was making breakfast in the kitchen when James came down. She still couldn't believe that James was back it had been a couple of months and it still seemed new. He was still in his pajamas, his hair like the wildest jungle you could imagine. He yawned and rubbed his eyes.

Lily was already dressed and ready for the day. She was frying an egg for herself, and on noticing James pulled a plate from the oven. It had pancakes and sausage, not bacon on it.

"Here you go, I kept it warm," she said, smiling.

"You remembered that I don't like eggs or bacon," he replied, surprised.

Lily laughed, "How could I forget with your reaction last time?"

James winced. The she was alluding to the time he had ordered her to make breakfast for him and one of the many girls he had taken to bringing home. She had not known that he couldn't stand those particular foods and he had screamed at Lily and banished her to the basement for the morning after telling her how worthless she was.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he whispered, poking at his food.

"What's done is done, I forgave you. Let's not talk about it anymore. I've told you so many times." Her face was flushed as she said this and her smile had faded.

"Fine, but could you please tell me why it was that you decided to take me back? I'm so confused, if our roles were reversed and you had done that to me, I don't think I could even look at you again."

Lily sighed and flipped her egg, "I guess part of it is that I'm bound by that stupid law, and I know that I'm better off with you than I would be with people like Malfoy or that sort. Part of it is that I was raised to try and work things out with your spouse, and I think that divorce or separation is wrong. It's pointless to take these vows that bind you for life and then break them. You might as well just date for the rest of your life then. The third part was that when you were gone, I realized that I had never gotten to know you, but at the same time I couldn't really grasp living without you. I realized that I had this love for you and that you were sorry and that wasn't really you. I guess that was just your way of dealing with the loss and stress, even though it wasn't right, and that you're over that now. So, from now on, we don't talk about that. Like I said, what's done is done."

James had finished his breakfast and now sat staring at the empty plate. He did not deserve to be with Lily. She was too kind, sweet, and forgiving. She was too good of a person for him to be with, but she wasn't about to let him go, and he wasn't going to do anything to change that. He started to rinse off his dish in the sink while she was eating.

"So do you have to work today?" he asked. He didn't really like the fact that she was working as a healer, but there was nothing he could do about it.

"No, I have the day off. I think that I'm only going to continue working until I'm officially a healer. Then I'll leave. They don't really need me anyways. Not to mention, not many of the interns care for me much. I'll be glad to get out of there. I just want the title of healer, I could use it somewhere else. Maybe I'll attempt to become an Auror again, if they'll have me this time. It's just nice to know so much about healing and it's something I can go back to when I'm older."

"So what do you think we should do today then?" he didn't really have much going on, Moody had told him that he couldn't back to work for another couple of weeks because he needed to spend some time recovering from his last mission. He really had nothing to do.

"Oh, actually I'm meeting a friend today. I probably won't be back until later tonight," she replied, blushing. "I'm sorry, I didn't really think you'd be wanting to do anything. Do you want me to stay? I can talk to him, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"Him?"

"Is that a problem?" she asked defensively.

"No, I was just surprised is all."

She went back to finishing her breakfast. James wondered if this 'him' was just a friend or something more. Lily wouldn't have done that though, with her views and believing that he was still alive, right? Well even if she had, she was in love with him, and she wouldn't have taken him back if she had another man on the side.

"I guess I'll go and catch up with Si..." he started, but then remembered that Sirius wasn't talking to him anymore.

"Are you going to be alright? I can stay with you. Maybe we can go talk to Sirius together, find out what's wrong with him."

"No, I need to do this myself. I'll be fine, go have your fun. When did you say you'd be back again?"

Lily bit her lower lip. She hadn't even thought that James might have wanted to spend the day with her. She and Severus had been trying to meet up for a few weeks now they hadn't seen each since Halloween, but this had been the first day she had off. They were going to go and have tea together and maybe go and see a show. After that night that he had found her at the bar, drunk and miserable he had been persistent. At first she ignored his letters, and stopped opening the windows for his owl to get in. He had tried to Floo her, but she had him blocked. He had stopped over on numerous occasions and finally she just gave in. He had decided that she needed a friend since James had been gone and that she wasn't going to be reclusive like she had been trying to be.

She had only been going into work and then straight home. Normally she would've been with Sirius or Remus but they had stopped talking to her, so it was just Lily and Severus. She knew that if James or the others had found out, they'd be livid so she kept it a secret no. She wasn't going to let it slip now. Lily was not going to let James ruin her friendship with Severus.

It was a few hours later and Lily was sitting in a café waiting for Severus to show up. They had both decided that since Lily's friends hated Sirius, and Severus' "friends" hated Lily that they would always meet somewhere in the muggle world so that they wouldn't be seen together.

He showed up a few minutes later. It was always strange to see him in muggle clothes. She had yet to get used to it. Of course, he could have still dressed like a wizard, they were in an artsy place so he wouldn't be that out of place, but they had also decided they'd like to blend in with the crowds.

Lily had chosen a table by the window so that she could watch the snow falling. She loved the winter. He sat down across from her. She didn't know why, but Severus hadn't ever really cared about his looks in school, maybe he had just been so wrapped up in his work and his potions that he didn't notice, but ever since they had graduated he had always been cleaned up. Gone was the normally greasy hair and face. He had also cut his hair since then, it was short now and no longer hanging in his face. He wasn't handsome or anything, but he looked a lot better than when he was at Hogwarts.

"You look happy today," was the first thing he said.

"Well I suppose I am. I've had a lovely time lately, and you, sullen as usual?" she asked.

He rolled his eyes. "Oh no, I'm just absolutely giddy. I love keeping my senile mother company." When he had graduated she had been forced to move in with him for a while. She had this fear of being alone and his father had recently died. Soon afterwards she seemed to lose her mind and Lily had suggested sending her to a nursing home. He was having trouble finding a decent one though.

Lily laughed. "You know, I'd have to say I'd take a senile mother over dead parents and a sister who hates you."

They did this often, complaining over whose family was worse.

"May I inquire as to what made it so charming for you, Miss Lily?" he asked in his most formal voice.

"You're not going to be happy, but I am. It was perfect timing too. James is back!" she replied excitedly, not returning the formal response she'd have normally responded with jokingly.

"So is this the end of our friendship then?" he asked icily.

"No! Of course not, he doesn't get to pick and choose who I associate myself with and who I don't!" Lily answered angrily.

Severus didn't believe her though. "According to the law he can do whatever he wants Lily and you have no choice in the matter."

"James isn't like that though. Especially with how he's been to me, he'll let me do anything."

"But you're not one to take advantage of people. Honestly, if he demanded it, would you stop seeing me?"

Lily shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. She couldn't believe that he would even think that.

"I think you're giving yourself too much credit. You wouldn't want to upset him now that he's back. If he finds out we're done for. Not only would he forbid you from meeting with me again, but he'd probably murder me in the process. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go, I have another engagement that I must attend," he said, tossing some money down on the table. She was still staring down at her lap, a couple of tears running down her cheeks.

Severus walked out of the small café, leaving Lily all on her own. He hadn't lied, he did have someone else to meet. He was going to find Dumbledore and ask to join the Order. He wanted to do something to help. He didn't want Voldemort to take power. If that happened, people like Lily would be hurt. They'd all be murdered and he didn't want that. Not to mention, if he were part of the Order he could spend more time with Lily. He'd have to be careful about approaching Dumbledore. He wasn't supposed to know about the Order, Lily had briefly mentioned it that one night, but he had been reading her mind about it. It was hard for him not to read other things going on her head, things like if she ever thought she could see herself with him, but he had decided he was going to win her over and didn't want to be discouraged.

That wasn't the only reason he had left her in the café just now though. He had spotted Sirius walking into the same place and he didn't want Lily to be caught with him. He knew that Sirius would tell James immediately and then there'd be no chance of them meeting again. He had spotted his enemy too late though, and they'd been seen. So he decided to leave Lily crying, that way it looked like maybe he had said something terrible, maybe just running into her by chance.

Soon he reached the old castle and was in his old Headmaster's office.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

Lily collected herself and left shortly afterwards, not seeing Sirius, who had decided to leave her alone for now. He could tell James later.

She thought that as long as she was out, she might as well do some shopping. She spent almost the entire day getting new robes for James. His were all worn out now, and the ones he hadn't taken with him she had sold off before she became a healer, right after they froze his account.

She also remembered she was out of ink, a certain potion, and she wanted to pick up that new book on charms. By the time she was finished it was about dinner time, so she headed home.

When she got there, all the lights were off. She thought that James had probably gone off to convince Sirius he was not the worst person in the entire world. They were probably sitting in some bar laughing, she was about to put all her bags down and head to the kitchen when she saw a light glowing in the dining room. She went go see what it was, her wand drawn because you never knew these days.

When she went in, she saw James sitting at the table. The candelabra that hung from the ceiling was lit, and there was a vase of roses sitting as the centerpiece.

Lily didn't say anything. She couldn't believe James had done something like this.

"You'll be amazed to find out that I cooked as well," he said, grinning.

Lily sat down on the other side of the table and poured a glass of water from a pitcher.

"What's the occasion?" she asked.

"You just wait. You'll find out soon enough."

He had made some excellent pasta with shrimp scampi, one of her favorites. When they had finished he brought out some chocolate mousse.

They had made some small talk throughout dinner but now it was quiet. James looked like he had something to say, but wasn't sure how. Lily enjoyed her dessert and observed him. Finally he started to talk.

"I know we've had a few discussions, and you said that you'd like to be like a real married couple again. We were like that for a short time, right after the wedding. So I got to thinking, we got married in a hurry, and I know I meant it, but only because I'd been after you since our first year at Hogwarts. I know you just went along with the wedding because you were required to. I know now that there was no love involved, that your wedding was meaningless for you. Well, not that it was meaningless, I'm sure you saw it as entering the rest of your life with someone you didn't love, the end of your freedom almost, but enough of that. I guess I'm rambling a lot..." he paused for a minute and walked over to her, dropping to one knee and pulling out a box. It wasn't a ring box, but rather a necklace.

"Lily, I love you, and I was hoping you'd agree to renew our vows."

She smiled and looked genuinely happy. She had come home looking miserable, he wondered if she had had a falling out with her friend, but he didn't want to pry.

"Yes, James. I think that's a great idea." she replied, laughing. She was glowing.

He pulled the necklace out of its box. It was a string of pearls with a large emerald pendant. There were diamonds encircling the emerald.

"Oh James. That's absolutely gorgeous," she whispered. A necklace like that would've cost a fortune.

He smiled and helped her put it on. It clashed with her ordinary clothes, but it was still beautiful.

Lily turned around to look at James and he pulled her into a deep kiss. Pulling her closer and rubbing her back, they were rudely interrupted by the doorbell. The moment was ruined.

"I'll get it," James said. Lily kissed him quickly before he went to go open the door. Lily pulled out her wand and levitated all of the dishes towards the kitchen where she was going to wash them.

A few minutes later James and Sirius popped in.

"I see James is showering you with gifts," Sirius said with a glare.

"We're renewing our vows, what's gotten into you?" she asked.

"Nothing. I saw you today having coffee, I was going to stop and say hello but you left in a hurry."

Lily paled. Had he seen her with Snape today?

"I would've stuck around had I known you were there." she said, playing his game.

James was oblivious to the whole thing, pulling two beers from the fridge.

"I'll excuse you two so you can talk," she said and left them alone.

"So," Sirius said. It was quite the lame start for a conversation but he didn't know what to say.

"I don't know what I did, Sirius, but whatever it is, I want to fix it. I value your friendship more than anything, and I don't want to lose it. I've missed you a lot since I've been gone and I'd like to make up for lost time."

Sirius was quiet for a minute. "Did you miss me as much as you missed Lily?" he asked finally.

"Yes, do you think I value her more than you? Sirius, you're like my brother, don't let a girl get in the way of that."

"Why did you want to see her more than us if that's the case? I was just starting to be able to function normally again without you and you pop right back up and all you want is Lily. This is how it's been since that day you started to date her. It's always Lily, you never have enough time for me now. Even when you weren't with Lily, especially when you weren't with Lily. You still didn't have enough time for me. I thought you died and I'd missed out on knowing you for the past two years due to some girl. I thought that we were friends forever, James," he replied, concentrating on looking anywhere but at James.

James sighed. "I thought that you'd understand when I came back that Lily was my first priority, I'd left with her hating me, and I wanted to fix that. Did I tell you that I saw the baby when I was there? I needed to tell her, we needed more time to grieve a bit. I'd been terrible and finally it hit me that we lost a little girl."

Sirius looked up. "James...I didn't know, I'm sorry. It's just you've always put Lily first."

"No, I'm sorry. You know, I'll try to be more of a friend, but I want you to know I'm not trying to make you feel this way. I don't mean to put her ahead of you, it's just, she's my wife. I love her."

"It's ok, I guess I've been a bit dramatic. I'm sorry. I get it now, I've been a baby about this. Are we good now?"

"That's up to you."

Sirius smiled, "Are you coming to the Order meeting tonight?"

"Yeah, I think we are."

"I'll see you there then, and congratulations...do you say congratulations when you find out someone is renewing their vows? Are you having another ceremony?" he asked.

"I don't know how this will work exactly, but if there is do I have my best man?"

"Yeah sure, I'll see if Peter's available that day," Sirius replied laughing.

"Not funny," James said, trying to hide his laughter.

"I'd better get going," said Sirius, who then hugged James and they walked towards the front door together.

"You still have that motorcycle?" James asked, in awe.

"Yeah, as long as she's running I'm riding her."

Sirius had bought a flying motorcycle in their fifth year at Hogwarts. His parents had been absolutely furious with him for squandering his money on such a wasteful thing that was sure to kill him.

"See you tonight," James said, closing the door behind him.

Lily had gone up to the bedroom to grab her cloak and put the necklace away, but found herself lying in bed, exhausted. James came up a while later, looking for her.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

She nodded, "I'm fine. I just felt a little tired, but I'm fine. Is it time to go already?"

As she asked this she tried to pull herself up from the bed but fell back. She was about to land on the floor when James caught her. She had fainted.

James laid her on the bed carefully, pulling the blankets up close to her chin because her skin was cold and clammy.

She woke up a minute or two later.

"What happened?" she asked.

"You fainted. Are you ok? We don't need to go to the meeting tonight we'll stay here. It's fine. I'll talk to Sirius so he's not worried because we didn't show."

"He'll probably think we skipped to have sex, I'm fine though. I just got really dizzy when I stood up. I must have gotten up too quickly," Lily said weakly. James laughed and pulled out his mirror. Lily was right, he did just think that they were skipping to celebrate the fact that they were going to renew their vows. He would tell Dumbledore that Lily was sick though.

James lay down with her and soon enough they were both asleep. He was awakened later by Lily trying to get out of bed; she was running for the bathroom.

He heard the sound of her throwing up and was about to get up to sit with her when she came back. It was five in the morning now. Lily crawled back into bed with him and was asleep within minutes. James wrapped his arm around her again. Surely his dinner could not have been that bad.

She was up again a half hour later and James followed her. She threw up again, this time he was able to hold her hair back though. It reminded him of the last time...

James started to draw hot water for a bath for her as she finished and was leaning against the wall, shivering.

She let the water rise to almost the top before she got in. James sat on the edge and watched her. She looked exhausted and pale.

"Lily," he said softly.

She looked up at him with her large green eyes. The answer to his question was already there.

"Lily, how long have you known?"

"I've only known for a week or two, James. I've been so scared," she was starting to cry.

"You don't have to be scared, Lily, I'm here."

"I wasn't going to tell you until I could know for sure that I couldn't miscarry, I didn't want you to know in case I lost it again. The muggle doctors told me that I might have trouble carrying to full term because of the trauma," she whimpered.

"Oh Lily. I would want to know anyway. It wouldn't have been like last time, I swear, is that what you're afraid of?" he asked.

"No, I'm just so scared that I'll lose this one too. I don't want to lose it, James. I want our baby," she sobbed. James leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

"We'll get the best healers that money can buy, we'll make sure we end up with a healthy baby," he assured her.

"How far along are you?" he asked.

"Only about two months," she replied.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

Sirius arrived at the meeting late that night. James had talked to him to let him know that he and Lily weren't coming, something about her being sick. Sirius had decided that that was a load of crap. He knew what they were really up to, but he wasn't going to say anything, not so soon after he and James made up.

He walked into the meeting room, what had been a large living room that they had put a bunch of chairs in. Dumbledore was up at the front of the room talking, apparently they were gaining a new member that night, he wondered whom.

Sirius sat through the meeting, counting who was there. The group was not as large as it had once been. There had been quite a few casualties since the beginning, but not so many lately. There had been a lull in the amount of attacks, Voldemort had been lying low for a few months now, and they were all worried about what he was up to.

Soon enough, Dumbledore asked someone to come forward. The person had been sitting at the front of the room, Sirius had not noticed him before. He could not tell whether it was a man or a woman because the figure was robed, and its hood was up.

"Please welcome the newest member of the Order, Severus Snape." Dumbledore said. There were many gasps among the crowd, and some cries of outrage.

Sirius was one of the outraged ones.

"Why would you trust him?" he screamed. Dumbledore glared at him and Sirius glared right back. The look from his old Headmaster clearly communicated that he was not to contradict him on the matter. Sirius decided to leave. Remus followed him quickly out the door.

Once they were safely out the door, Sirius started to rant about how Snape was such a terrible person. Remus never really saw anything wrong with the poor guy, he was socially inept, and spineless, that was about it. He had talked to him civilly a few times before the werewolf incident. After that Snape did his best to stay away from Remus at all times.

Second Author's Note: So I didn't intend for her to be pregnant again so soon, but it just happened, subconsciously. I guess part of it may be this way I feel more motivated to write. I don't know why, I just do. That way I can finish faster and not leave you guys hanging for almost a year again.


	23. Discovered

**I would like to dedicate this to glowing-ice, whom I finally met a few weeks ago. I'm sorry I didn't get to talk to you longer, I had to run to class! **

Lily had finished her bath and now sat in her bed, drying her hair. After hearing her news, James had run to the nearest bookstore to pick up every book he could find on pregnancy, wizarding and muggle kinds.

He had just come home and he spread the books out all over the bed.

"I want to know everything, Lily. It's going to be ok. First thing tomorrow we'll find a good...doctor is it called?" he asked.

Lily nodded, "James, you'll still love me if..." she trailed off.

"I'll always love you," James replied, pulling her into his arms.

The door suddenly burst open and Sirius walked in.

"Do you know what knocking is?" James shouted angrily, while at the same time trying to cover up some of the books.

"No, and you two should get a room when you do stuff like that," he said, referencing their hug.

"This _is_ our room, Sirius."

Lily pulled away from James and grabbed her wand to try and make the rest of the books disappear before Sirius could see what they were, but she was too late.

"Baby books?" he asked, "Is she...?"

James nodded, Lily looked like she was near tears.

"Sirius, please don't tell anyone. We're so worried already. We don't want Voldemort to catch wind of it again. I don't think either of us, especially Lily, could handle it a second time. She's going to take it easy for a while and we're going to tell as few people as we can get away with."

"Were you planning on telling me?" Sirius asked dejectedly.

"Of course we were, just not so soon. I only found out tonight myself."

"Oh! That reminds me...you'll never guess what happened tonight at the meeting."

James shook his head, "Enlighten me," he said.

"Dumbledore has really gone off his rocker in his old age. He introduced a new member tonight, and it turned out to be Snivellus,"

"Do you really have to call him that?" Lily said before she could catch herself.

"Oh that's right, you've been meeting him in secret, I forgot," Sirius replied, sneering.

"That's who you've been meeting?" James asked, outraged.

Lily turned bright red. She had known that this would happen sooner or later. She wished that she could've just had it easier. That maybe things in her life could've gone normally for once instead of having all of that drama that was created with her baby, with Severus.

"Yes, he is a friend of mine. He always has been and I don't see why a schoolboy grudge should stay so long. If you just gave him a chance, you'd realize he's not that bad at all. When you were gone he helped me through some of the hardest times of my entire life. He's been there for me when none of _you_ were," she spat out.

"Lily, he's bad news, he's a Death Eater for Merlin's sake, how could you possibly trust him?" Sirius asked.

"You don't know him. He's a sweet guy. He's really shaped up too. He doesn't have greasy hair anymore, he takes care of himself."

"Lily, this is really hard for me, but I guess if it's really want you want, really what you need, you can still see him and I'll try to be supportive about it. I don't like it, but I'm not going to stop you. I have no right, you can make your own decision. But I think that right now Sirius should go and you can go to sleep. You've had a rough time, so I think we should both call it a night."

Sirius nodded and disapparated to leave the two alone. They wanted to sleep, but neither of them were having an easy time with it.

All Lily could think about were different ways she could lose the baby, and although she wouldn't admit it to him, she was really afraid that James would neglect her again if things didn't go right. Then there was poor Severus, she didn't know what to make of him. How did he join the Order? Why?

On the other hand there was James who was thinking of quite similar things. He was so worried about Lily, he could tell that she was afraid of him. It hurt him so badly to see that she still thought he'd leave her. He had made a huge mistake the first time and he wasn't willing to allow himself to make it again. If he could have changed things he would've. James was scared for Lily and the baby. What if someone did find out? What would they have to do? Sometimes he wished that he wasn't a wizard and didn't have to deal with any of this. Ever since he could remember all he had wanted was to have a family with Lily and now that they were so close it seemed like everything was lined up against them. Then there was Snape. Why was he friends with Lily? James decided then that he would try his hardest to be civil to the poor guy from now on.

He wished that there was something he could do for Lily. Maybe she had sought Severus out for something that he, James, couldn't provide. Was she having an affair with him? Did she not love him at all? She had every reason not to...

He had no choice but to let her see him. He wasn't going to take control of her ever again.

Lily made a whimpering sound, and he looked over to see her shoulders heaving.

Slowly, James wrapped his arms around her so her petite frame was fitted against him as closely as possible.

"Shh...Lily it's going to be fine. Don't work yourself up over this, it's bad for the baby."

Lily turned herself around in his arms so that she was now facing him. Her eyes were a brighter green than usual, he could see even in the darkness. Moonlight was pouring in from the window and it cast a soft glow on her, especially catching on her hair.

"The baby doesn't have a very good chance of survival to start with," she whispered.

"All the more reason to be careful," James replied softly while stroking her back gently.

"So...I hate to ask, but I really do need to know Lily. I'm not going to get mad or anything. I want you to know that I'm going to try the hardest I can to be nice to the guy, but I really need to know what kind of a relationship you have with Snape. You said earlier that he was there for you when I wasn't did you...? You don't have to answer now, but sometime..." James trailed off.

"We're just friends. He listens to me. I listen to him. We complain about whose life sucks more. I don't think he'll want much to do with me anymore after he finds out though. He's been distant ever since you came back. You don't have anything to worry about." she answered coldly.

"Lils...you know I'm here for you, right? What I did before is unforgivable, but you have been able to let it go. I'm here to listen, love, and help you. What can I do for you?"

Lily shook her head, "I'm just so scared, that's all. I'm honestly thinking about having an abortion just so that I don't have to deal with the heartbreak when I unexpectedly miscarry."

"You need to have a better outlook on this Lily. I think that if you have a more positive view on this, things might go better. In the long run, I think that you're going to feel worse if you...well rather than losing it. You never know what could happen. I know that I don't really have much say in what you do, but I've only known for a couple hours, and I already love the baby more than anything, and I think that you do too."

"Love didn't get me very far on the last one," Lily mumbled.

"I think you need closure." James said after a minute, "What do you think about naming her? Do we still have the pensieve?" he asked quickly.

"Yeah, it's under the bed, but why?" Lily asked. She looked thoroughly confused.

"Lily...do you want to see our baby?" he asked.

"You can do that?"

"Sure, it's a memory of mine," James answered, pulling out the gigantic bowl and his wand.

Lily had even more tears in her eyes. No doubt hormones were already at work on her. She was having terrible mood swings tonight.

"Here we go," James said, putting the wand to his head and pulling out a strand from the temple of his head. He dipped it into the liquid of the bowl and they both watched on.

The memory played out in the forest that James had been in when he was on his mission. It was overcast in a dim purple light. There were ghostly figures milling about in huge circles. James was walking towards a small cemetery to have a look around. He started to look at some of the names on the graves. The cemetery was located at the foot of a hill, and at the top there was a decrepit shack, shutters howling in the wind.

Harold Potter 1948-1975 Maureen Potter 1950-1975 

"Your parents?" Lily asked. James nodded and motioned for her to be quiet. All of a sudden there was a loud humming noise and a bright light appeared out of nowhere. It seemed like it was moving towards them.

Almost instinctively, the memory James held out his arms. The light grew dimmer and finally disappeared. So did the humming noise, but it was replaced with the loud cries of a baby.

The real James motioned for Lily to come closer towards the memory version of him.

He was holding what looked to her like the most gorgeous baby she had ever seen. Even though she was wailing, she was still beautiful. She had tiny little fists that were flailing, and a lot of fiery red hair.

Lily reached out her hand and the little girl curled her fist around one of Lily's fingers.

"Hey, baby," she said quietly, crying.

The baby immediately quieted down and started to smile. She opened her eyes to reveal the same deep green orbs that Lily had.

"She knows you're there. I knew you were there too."

"Isabella," she whispered quietly, "Belle means beautiful in French, and she's beautiful."

James nodded. Lily wanted to stay there forever, but James reminded her that she could always look again later and that she needed to get her rest. Soon enough the pensieve was put away and they were lying there in bed again.

"What do you think of "Minerva" as a middle name? She was both of our favorite teacher, and Minerva was the goddess of knowledge, traditionally."

"Isabella Minerva Potter. I-M-P, those are unfortunate initials. What about 'Athena' instead? It's just the same." James replied.

"Who said her last name was going to be Potter? What if I wanted her to have my last name?"

"I'm sorry—I just assumed..." James stuttered.

"It would've been Potter, don't worry." Lily replied with a small smile.

"Isabella Athena Potter, I love it," he whispered quietly.

Soon afterwards Lily and James both fell asleep, feeling like a giant weight had been lifted off of their shoulders.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sirius had gone back to his and Remus' flat.

"Why do you seem so down?" Remus asked with concern.

"It's nothing. Just another girl," Sirius replied unconvincingly.

"Sirius, in all the years I've known you, the only girl you'd been depressed about was one you were with for more than a night and you haven't been going steady with anybody for ages, so what's wrong?"

"I visited Lily and James just now," Sirius replied.

"And...?" Remus prodded.

"And I'm not supposed to say."

"Sirius, I think whatever it is, they wouldn't care if I knew," Remus said with a laugh.

"They told me that they didn't want anybody to know."

"Ok. Is it bad?"

"It shouldn't be. They're really scared though."

"What is it? Is there someone after them?"

"No! I would tell you if it were that!" Sirius shouted.

"Well you made it sound like-" Remus tried to say, but Sirius interrupted.

"She's pregnant again," Sirius blurted.

"Well that's not so bad. I suppose she's scared, you remember how bad she felt last time, and then James. I'd be upset too," Remus said insightfully.

The next day, Remus got up fairly early. He was going straight over to see Lily and James and how they were holding up.

He knocked on the door, and James answered it. He had a t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts on. His hair was sticking up everywhere, more so than usual. There were large bags under his eyes and his face was scruffy.

"Hey," Remus mumbled, "I can come back later..." he added after he heard Lily in the distance, vomiting.

"No. We just had a rough night. It's fine, come in!" James said with false enthusiasm.

Remus accepted though and entered into the kitchen. James poured him a cup of fresh coffee.

"Oh I brought you guys fresh doughnuts...I'm not sure if Lily will want one anymore though. Sirius told me, he said he wasn't supposed to though. Did you really not want me to know?"

"Of course we were going to tell you, we just don't everybody in the world knowing is all. We don't even want all of the Order knowing, just close friends."

"How is she holding up so far?" Remus asked.

"She's really down about it. I wish that there was something more that I could do for her, especially considering how bad I was to her the first time around. She's so terrified of losing the baby again; I think she's also afraid that I'll be like that again. I honestly don't know what had come over me. Apparently this is going to be even riskier due to all the trauma the first time around, we're going in to see doctors and healers today though," James replied, yawning.

"Have you heard about Snape?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, that's why Sirius came over last night. That's the mystery guy Lily has been meeting. She let it slip last night."

"That must have been tough to hear."

James nodded in response. Lily came down the stairs a few minutes later, all dressed and ready for the day.

"My first appointment is at eleven James, you should get ready," she told him cheerfully, "Hello, Remus," she added when she saw him.

"I brought you a doughnut, but I'm not sure if you want it," he replied, holding out the box.

"I'll take some, I'm starving," she said, grabbing two, stuffing one into her mouth and chewing, and holding the other.

**So...not much of an exciting ending, just kind of filler. We have a problem with the computer at our house, my brother is addicted and so it gets hauled out every night. I pretty much have NO access. **

**I do have chapters written on an old laptop that my parents conveniently forgot about though. Should I bother continuing?  
**


	24. Lies

Severus had disappeared a moment later-Disapparated. James looked shocked.

"That slimy git," he muttered under his breath.

"Don't call him that, James!" Lily snapped, also looking shocked.

"You've been so nice to him, and he goes and ditches you like this? It's not fair to you, Lily. He's bad news!"

"Like you've never done anything worse," she said coldly.

James looked defeated and walked back into the kitchen. Lily sat nearly motionless on the couch. The fire was crackling in the hearth because she was always cold these days.

Lily couldn't believe what Snape had said. He loved her? It couldn't be. He was her best friend. She could talk to him about anything. She knew that she should have felt that way about James, but there were just some things she couldn't tell him. She lost her best friend!

Lily sat and watched the fire for a few more minutes and slowly walked up the stairs. James poked his head out of the kitchen when he heard the stairs creak as she walked up.

"Dinner is almost ready!" he shouted.

"I'm not hungry, James," she replied quietly.

"You have to eat something for the baby! Remember what the doctors said?"

Lily resigned herself and headed back downstairs.

James like usual had made another complicated dinner. Lily pulled a head of lettuce out of the fridge and made a salad for herself. She didn't want anything that was too strong or she'd throw up.

"Lily, all you eat is salad these days. You need more calories than that!"

"Calories? How do you even know about calories? Wizards don't even label their food with nutritional content."

"Which is why from now on we're shopping from Muggle grocers," James explained.

"I love you," Lily said smiling.

"I'm glad to hear that. Speaking of loving me, what do you want to do about renewing our vows?" James asked.

It had been a few months since he had proposed the idea and they had been busy, not really thinking about it. The Order was losing members left and right and _both_ of them had been kept pretty busy with work for the group. James was being sent on fewer dangerous missions because of Lily and the baby, but he was still doing risky stuff. Lily was in charge of healing members as they came back, not to mention she helped Molly feed everyone. She also organized attacks and tried to help recruit some more trustworthy wizards.

"Could we just have a simple ceremony? I mean, I've already had the dress and the party and the elegance. Maybe we could do it in front of the Order. Dumbledore could probably officiate it."

"I think that sounds lovely, but are you sure you don't want to just redo the whole thing? I keep feeling like you missed out on something. Doesn't every woman dream of the perfect wedding?"

"Ours was perfect, and no, they don't. Some are more focused on keeping themselves and the ones they love alive. If we make a big deal of this, someone will hear and we could be putting ourselves in danger, which is the last thing I want."

"What is with you and danger all of a sudden?" James asked. It seemed like that was all Lily thought about lately. Last week she refused to leave the house except for her weekly appointments to the doctors and healers. Both of them said that she should be doing just fine. She was due in late August, and she was already well into July.

"Nothing, I just think that we should be a little more cautious. Caution never hurt anyone."

"Why are you being so paranoid about everything then?"

"Curiosity killed the cat, James."

Lily and James had to attend the Order meeting that night.

It was always hard for Lily to go to those meetings. Severus completely ignored her most of the time and spent the rest of it shooting dirty looks at James and Sirius. He had spoken to her once, only to remind her that he had given up on her.

"...And we are happy to say that this month we haven't lost any of our members. It seems like things are finally starting to turn around for us. We're still quite outnumbered, but it's getting better. On a final note for this evening, I'd like to warn all of you to be more aware of things, any strange happenings. It never hurts to be on the cautious side," Dumbledore said at the end of the meeting.

All the missions had been going fine. There was a close call earlier in the week in an ambush in which the Prewetts had just narrowly escaped with their lives after their Portkey had been seized and wards had been set up so they couldn't Disapparate. Also they were getting inside information from Snape on the whereabouts of Voldemort and his followers.

Lily stormed out as soon as Dumbledore was finished and began heaping food onto plates for dinner.

"How many are staying tonight, Molly?" she asked.

"Everyone but Severus again. I don't know what his problem is. It looks like he could use a good meal, and a good washing by the looks of it. He's really let himself go lately," Molly Weasley replied in a gossipy voice.

"He's really a nice guy if you get to know him. He's...well I shouldn't talk, he hates me enough already," Lily finished guiltily.

Mrs. Weasley didn't seem to notice because at that moment her two- year- old twin terrors came racing into the kitchen along with her three older sons.

"We're hungry," they whined in unison. She laughed and started to fill up plates for them.

"I'll take the rest of these out to everyone," Lily said, leaving the family to themselves for a while.

She had joined everyone for dinner, but afterwards helped out again by washing the dishes. People were taking off, some were setting out on other jobs for the Order, some were headed home, others were busy arguing about uses of certain spells in battle, and others were just too tired to help out so it was just her and Molly again.

"How do you it?" Lily asked.

"Do what, dear?" the older woman replied, drying a dish by hand.

"How do you run your family like that and keep involved with the Order?"

Mrs. Weasley laughed, "I honestly don't know how I do it sometimes. It just comes naturally after a while I guess. Are you and James nervous about the baby?"

"How did you know? Did he tell you?" Lily asked, shocked that someone knew.

"I can see it, darling, you glow, and I can sense it. How far along are you?"

"I'll be eight months in a couple of days. I'm due at the end of August, but I'm not showing because I learned a handy little charm that disguises my huge belly."

"You're not telling anyone either?"

Lily shook her head, "We don't want many people to know. Everyone knew last time so then Voldemort tracked us down and we don't want that happening again."

"It's sad that one can't even celebrate the arrival of your first—or any child for the matter in these times. You must be terrified!" Molly said knowingly.

All of a sudden there was a loud thump upstairs and the wails of a baby.

"That's Ron, I wonder what they did to him this time," she muttered as she set the last of the dishes in their proper cupboards.

Lily, not wanting to be alone for too long, went to go find James. She didn't have to look too far because he had just come in.

"What did Dumbledore say to you?" he asked almost angrily.

"What are you talking about?"

"He obviously said something to you to get you all paranoid like that. That's not you, especially with his little speech on caution tonight. Don't tell me he didn't say anything."

"James, not now please. Wait until we're at home. It's not safe here."

"Not safe? What can be safer than Order headquarters?"

Lily glared at him and walked out to the fireplace so she Floo home. She knew that James would follow her.

Sure enough, a few minutes later he came tumbling through the fireplace after her.

"Explain this, please." he said as she sat down on their couch.

"Dumbledore came and talked to me a few nights ago while you were out. He was hoping that you would be here, but he thought that I should know as soon as possible. Last week he had a meeting with a potential Divination teacher. He thought her to be a huge fraud until the end of her interview. He said that she went into an almost trance-like state and made a prediction. I don't remember what it was exactly, but he thought maybe it applied to us. Something about how a child born at the end of the seventh month will have to end up conquering the Dark Lord, one living and one dying. Anyway, I know that it's not about us, because our baby is due a month after that, but what if it had been? I just think we need to be more cautious in general. The only other couple that it could be are Frank and Alice Longbottom, and they're actually due at the end of July. I'm just so scared because it could've been us. They're going to have to move and cut off almost all contact from the outside if they want to keep their child safe and...I'm being really stupid about this, aren't I?"

"Not at all," James said, sitting down next to her and pulling her close to him. They sat there for a while, comfortable until the doorbell rang.

Lily made to get up, but James beat her to it, "I'll get it, why don't you rest for a while?" he said as sank back down into her seat and stuck her tongue out at him.

"I don't need you to baby me, James," she muttered, picking up a magazine and flipping through it.

James came back a few minutes later with an annoyed look on his face.

"Who was it?" Lily asked, not looking up from a page that had her favorite actor on it.

"No one, just some kid doing a fundraiser," James replied quickly. Actually it had been Snape who had asked to come see Lily because he had a warning for her or some nonsense about her being in danger, but James wouldn't hear any of it and told him to shove it.

James woke up the next morning with the smell of French toast wafting up the stairs, he rolled over to see that Lily was not in bed anymore. He slept for a few more minutes and finally managed to pull himself out of bed to go to breakfast.

"Good morning," he said kissing her on the cheek as he grabbed a cup of coffee.

"It's about time you woke up, we've got to fix up the nursery today, and I don't want to go shopping alone!" she said.

"So you made me breakfast? I thought that you didn't eat breakfast anymore."

"I'm hungry, and I thought the smell might wake you up," she replied, shoving a plate in front of him.

He thought that something was different about the house. So far he had only seen the kitchen and part of the living room, but something was off.

"Lily, did you clean everything?" he asked slowly.

"You noticed!"

"It's spotless...and you've rearranged the furniture too...why?"

"I felt like it. The house has to be perfect for the baby when he comes," she responded happily, while scrubbing the pans she had been using.

"Lily, the baby isn't supposed to be here for another month...and he?"

She paled, "I forgot that I hadn't told you!"

"I'm going to have a son?"

"James, I'm sorry!"

"What for? This is great news! I'm going to have a mini-Marauder!" he said almost gleefully.

"I will not have you corrupting our son, James!"

"I think we need to go celebrate," James replied laughing. Normally, they did not venture out into public that often lately, but they threw caution to the wind that day and decided to spend the day shopping for various baby items in Diagon Alley.

They entered Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlor after they had gotten a crib and Quidditch themed decorations for the baby's room.

"What do you think we should name him?" Lily asked, licking chocolate ice cream off the cone before it dripped onto her hand.

"Voldemort," James said, staring past her.

"Very funny, James..." Lily replied, but then she heard screams outside the shop.

"We have to get out of here, come on, Lily!" James said, helping her out of her chair.

She started to grab their shopping bags but James screamed for her to leave them.

The window that their table had been in front of exploded from being hit by a curse. They could hear a high pitched laughter outside as people were running for cover.

"Where can we go?" Lily asked James, who thought that they were stuck inside. The only exit led straight to the main street.

"We're going to have to use that door, follow me. That's right, wand out."

Lily prepared herself for the worst, hoping that James knew what he was doing. The moment they entered the street things got crazy. Both Lily and James were firing of curses at anyone who tried to approach them, and hoping that they wouldn't be seen by Voldemort.

A Death Eater grabbed Lily and pulled her violently towards him.

"You need to get out of here, he's after you," snarled a familiar voice.

Lily could feel tears rolling down her cheeks. James looked back and thought that he was trying to harm her.

"Get away from her!" he bellowed, to no effect.

This one voice caught the attention of Lord Voldemort himself, who had been searching for something.

"Ah...it's the Potters." he said as if the name were some foul word, "Let the Mudblood go, I'd like to take care of her myself."

Snape reluctantly let go of Lily, and backed away so as to be out of the line of fire when Voldemort decided to finish her. He wished that there was something he could do, but Dumbledore did not want to him to give up his true loyalties at any cost.

"Crucio!" Voldemort said almost lazily.

Lily immediately fell to the ground and was writhing in pain when the charm she had put on herself to hide her pregnancy wore off.

"What's this?" the evil wizard asked, amused. "The Mudblood is with child just like it said!"

"Ava-" he started to say the killing curse, but at that moment there was a large popping noise and two dozen Aurors appeared.

James ran to over to Lily when the fight broke out. Voldemort didn't care about them anymore for the time being. He had to get out of there before he was outnumbered. Soon the Order would be there as well as the Aurors.

"Are you ok?" he asked Lily, who was still shaking a bit.

She shook her head slowly, "We need to go to St. Mungo's now...the baby," she whispered.

James nodded and produced a Portkey, hoping that traveling by it wouldn't do the baby any more harm than the Unforgivable curse already had.


	25. Starting Again

Hmm...two and a half years. No excuses. I feel like I finally have motivation to finish this. Hopefully I haven't alienated everyone.

James paced up and down the halls of St. Mungo's for the better part of an hour before he heard any news whatsoever. Many times healers ran past him, probably to accommodate the many injured witches and wizards being sent in from Diagon Alley, but no one even seemed to notice him.

"James!" he heard a voice shout out. He turned around and saw Sirius running towards him. "I heard what had happened, and came as quickly as I could, mate," he said, hugging James, "How is she?"

James ran his hand through his hair, in a worried gesture, "I don't know, they haven't told me anything. He—Voldemort—he cursed her. The Cruciatus! How could someone do that? The baby wasn't even due yet!" he shouted angrily. "What if she dies? What if the baby dies?"

He said all of this at a very rapid pace and Sirius motioned him over to some chairs. James shook his head and continued to pace. "James, everything will be all right. It will all turn out. I'm sure they've got their best healers on her case. How long was she cursed for?"

"I'm not sure—it seemed like forever. It was less than a minute though."

"They'll be fine, James. We're lucky that the Aurors arrived when they did."

Finally, a healer approached him.

"Mr. Potter?" he said, nodding his head towards James.

"Yes? How's Lily? Did she have the baby?" he asked frantically.

"Your wife is fine, fortunately. The charms she was using to protect the baby were enough to keep it alive. We'll need to keep him here for observation for a few days. He's small, and a little weak right now, but he should be fine. Your family is very lucky to have survived this attack."

"Can I see them?" he asked. The healer nodded.

"Come get me when you're ready, Prongs! Congratulations!" Sirius said, sitting back down in the waiting room. James followed the healer.

"Here we are," he said and knocked on the door.

"Come in," Lily answered quietly.

James grabbed the handle of the door hesitantly and took a deep breath. He opened the door to see Lily in bed. Her face was still red and her hair was sticking to her head with sweat, but she looked serene; next to her was a small cradle on wheels. There was a tiny bundle inside.

Lily smiled warmly at James. "We made it," she said happily.

"How are you? How is he?" James asked, taking a few steps forward.

"I've been better, the baby is sleeping. That's all he's done so far. He's very quiet," she responded peacefully.

James looked into the crib. There, swaddled in blankets was his son. He looked like any other sleeping baby except for the tuft of already unruly black hair on his head.

"Hello, Harry," James whispered. "We're still going with Harry, right?"

Lily nodded, "Harry James Potter."

That sat in silence for a few moments, in awe of the new baby, their baby. There was a knock at the door suddenly.

Lily and James looked at each other. Sirius was supposed to be waiting for James to come get him. They weren't expecting any more visitors. No one else should have known Lily had given birth yet, hardly anyone knew she was pregnant even! James drew his wand slightly, ready to attack if need be.

The door cracked open and Dumbledore entered. "I'm sorry to disturb you two during such a joyous event, but I'm afraid we must talk."

At the voice of the new visitor, Harry began to shift around in his crib and whimper a little. Lily was quick to pick him up.

"What is it this time, Professor?" James asked.

Dumbledore flicked his wand and a chair appeared. He sat himself down next to Lily's hospital bed and watched her with the baby.

"As a precaution, I think you may want to consider going into hiding for the remainder of the war, especially after today's events."

"What do you mean as a precaution?" Lily asked again.

"Keep in mind the prophecy that was made, Mrs. Potter," he responded evenly.

Lily paled. "Oh…what time was it when Harry was born, James?" she asked quickly.

"11:53."

"As the seventh month dies…" Lily's voice trailed off, her face eerily pale.

"What are you guys talking about? What prophecy?" James was getting irritated now.

"Come walk with me, James. There are a few things we should discuss. We shall speak somewhere safe and be back within the hour, Lily. There is extra security around this room, but I don't think there is any immediate danger as of yet."

James kissed Lily's forehead and the two men set out to find a fireplace. Lily was left all alone with her newborn.

"You've caused me a lot of trouble already, you know. You're not even a day old and you're giving me grey hairs," she mumbled. He opened his eyes for the first time. Lily gasped, seeing how vibrantly green they were for a newborn, "I guess you didn't get all your daddy's genes."

"That's a good thing. I don't think I could handle it if he had, " said a voice from the doorway. Snape came hesitantly through the door. "Congratulations, Evans," he said quietly.

"Thank you, Severus. It's great to see you…it's been far too long."

"How are you feeling? Were there any complications? I tried to stop them, I swear I did—"

"Sev, I'm fine. Harry came a little soon, but he should be fine as well."

"Lily, I have something to tell you…I tried to stop by the other night. I tried to warn you that he had found out—"

"What stopped you?" Lily interrupted.

"James answered the door. Understandably, he didn't want me to have anything to do with you."

"Why didn't you try harder? You could've let someone in the Order know. Someone could've reached us. Prevented this. Do you know what this means now that he's been born early?"

"I have heard about the prophecy that was made. Even if it is Potter's son, I'm sorry to hear that you have to go through all of this trouble now."

"How can you pass such hatred onto an innocent baby? He's just as much a part of me as he is of James," Lily replied, hugging Harry closer to her.

"He looks like a carbon copy of your husband. I'm sorry, I'm acting just as childish as…" he drew in a sharp breath as Harry opened his eyes, "He's got your magnificent eyes."

Lily smiled as he sat down in the chair that Dumbledore had previously occupied and they sat in silence for a while.

In another part of the hospital, James and Dumbledore were strolling through the hallways.

"The attack today was a massacre. Too many people were caught in the crossfire," Dumbledore said as wizard after wizard still entered, seeking help.

"How long did it take for the Order to get things under control after we left?" James asked. They were now passing a man whose right arm was scorched.

"It was a good fifteen minutes or so before Voldemort and his followers left, but what I really wanted to talk to you about was the reason they attacked in the first place. Now, am I correct in assuming you and Lily were discreet about her pregnancy?"

James nodded, "Sirius and Remus were the only ones we specifically told. Oh! And Snape! I'll bet you anything it was that slimy git who ratted us out!"

"James, Severus has proven his loyalty to me. I can assure you that even though you two carry on your rivalry, he would never compromise your lives."

"How could—"

"But, now on to what I really wanted to discuss with you: Voldemort. It has been prophesied that as the seventh month dies, a boy would be born to parents who thrice defied Voldemort. This boy will turn out to be the one who conquers Voldemort once and for all. We need to do everything in our power to keep Harry safe. I would suggest using a Fidelius charm, personally."

"What is that?" James asked. Charms had never been his greatest subject back at Hogwarts.

"It is a spell that would completely hide your home, and your family. Your secret-keeper would be the sole person to know where you are located."

"So we'll be stuck at home indefinitely?" James asked.

"I'm afraid so, James."

"We won't do it--I'll take Voldemort myself!"

"James. There isn't much time. I would be more than happy to be your secret-keeper, but I will let you and Lily discuss matters privately. Be careful with your decision though, I fear that someone has infiltrated the Order."

With that, the old wizard escorted James back to hihs wife's hospital room to relay the news.


End file.
